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Psyche hosts a casual 'Messy Mondays' episode featuring personal updates, tarot deck organization, and conversation with stream viewers. He discusses his recent experience with TikTok account restrictions and shares stories about his interactions with other streamers and viewers.
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Observers see the surface.
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Browse era →Welcome to the madness. It's 900 p.m. Lights up. Mike's hot. Chaos in the stream. VA calling in. Slurring words. Starting up a scene. Talking all that trash. Then she flips. Rage queen. Mad at me. Girl, please. The show runs on caffeine. Sides twisted. Laughing loud. Whiskey in his veins.
Slurs flying left and right. We cut the feed. No shame. But the chat's on fire. Can't tame this flame. This ain't your mama's podcast. This a runaway train. Welcome to the madness. Buckle up tight. Boo flashing on cam chat. Losing their minds. Michael getting gonged. Alex taking flight. It's wild. It's wrong and we do it every night. Paige got them
sing. Hearts in the chat, but she ain't got time for a dude like that. Diamond flirting hard. Let the girls react. It's a freak show party. No filter. All facts. Yo, all facts. Yo yo, Michael drops a line. Gong, not tonight. Alex tried to joke. Boom. Sent into the night. Panel looking sideways. Someone's
got a fight. Producers on mute. Praying this don't spike. Diamonds feeling spicy. Shirt slipping down low. Oops, she says with a wink. That's the whole show. S half asleep, but still cracking jokes. Slur out wisdom with a bourbon soap glow. No rules, just rolls. We pretend to play. One hand on the mute, other letting it spray. It's a circus.
It's a riot. A beautiful mess. One wrong word and we're trending in the press. Welcome to the madness. Buckle up tight. Boos flashing on cam chat. Losing their minds. Michael getting gonged to Alex taking flight. It's wild. It's wrong and we do it every night. Paige got them hearts in the chat, but she ain't got
time for a dude like that. Diamond flirting hard. Let the girls react. It's a freak show party. No filter. All facts. Yeah. All facts. Lights out. One more round. Beat on the line. Yelling at a ghost from a bottle of wine. We laugh, we cry, we crash.
Rewind. Same time next week. You know the vibe. Welcome to madness. Enjoy the ride. Yeah. Welcome to the madness.
Enjoy the ride.
Welcome to the madness. Enjoy the ride. Welcome to the madness. Enjoy the ride.
Hello. Good morning or good afternoon. I did just wake up. Hi. Wow, I slept all day. U but I feel good now. Hi guys. Hello from Indonesia. Hello from Hello Indonesia. Nice to see you. Thank you for being here. Wow, Indonesia. That's awesome. I got people
from Philippines. Indonesia. I don't know if you know Yumi Cat. I think she's from Indonesia. Um she comes in. Hey everybody. How are you? Having a good day. I got Taco Bell last night in the middle of the night. So,
also I got my um my Tik Tok access back and last night went really really really really really good there. Uh I had like you know just for just starting I had a bunch of people like that stayed in the chat. That's the thing is retention of the people because you'll get the
traffic on Tik Tok. you just, you know, people just scroll by, but it seems like um people were checking me out pretty good. Hi, Jand. How are you? Okay, I'm just getting my cards organized. I have a couple new decks coming tonight. Um I got my vacuum
got a new vacuum cleaner. Okay, my cards are organized. There we go. Hi guys. Hey Christine, how are you? Good to see you. Yeah, I got a new vacuum cleaner, guys. I got this on Teemo. It was like 25 bucks or something, but it's like a little vacuum, but it was easy to assemble. Um, it looks like it might do
well. I haven't tried it yet, but I got a vacuum just to I think I got a pretty good deal on it. Let's see everybody. It's really hot today. Gi hands, where are you at? Yeah, but I had some great really interesting dreams last night. kind of like um not not with Freddy, but they're
kind of you remember see um there's a show called New Nightmares or Freddy's nightmares. It was a nightmare in Elm Street show in the 80s. I think it was in like maybe the late 80s, early 90s, and it's like it has like Freddy in it or um introduced in a show, but it's really just about people's nightmares and it's like really
um it's a really trippy show. Oh, it's just like things don't quite make sense for a show, right? It used to be on at maybe 11 p.m. on Saturday nights when I was a kid and I would watch it. It was It's pretty much the scariest you'll ever see. It's on um it's on YouTube. Look up Freddy's Nightmares and there's probably the episodes up. Um
it's scary though. If you've never seen it, check out that show. Okay, let me see. Got my car is good. You're busy Christine. Hopefully everything's good. Thank you, Christine, for being here. Thank you, everybody. Um, yeah, so I had Taco Bell. My favorite Taco Bell last night was Oh, Orange County. I'm in LA
County. It was funny when I called Blackout Andy cute. He got really upset. Hold on. Blackout Andy. Blackout Andy is like, "Is that Jimmick's boyfriend?" Black There's a Blackout Andy. He's porn bomb me a few times. I called him cute and he got upset. That's funny. I was on his show the
other not on his show, but I was in his chat, right? Tacos Bell. Yo, it's a Taco Bell. It got the Doritos. Oh There the Doritos Locos Tacos. So they have like the Dorito shell. Those are the best ones. Yeah, he's a porn bomber dog. So yeah, I saw I ran into him. Okay, so I ran into him at Tridentance one night and then he was like we were kind of going back and forth in
Tridentance. Um but I was just at Tridentance. I don't know if you know who Trident is. He's Benny's like best friend. He lives in PA. right now he's streaming. I I was just at his show and I said, "Hey, um Benny was just on my show a few weeks ago. Would you like to um come on and say, you know, I don't know if he's shadowbanned, but you know, he has um he had about 10 there's about
10 people in his chat. And so I think he would um I think you guys would like him a lot. He's really cool. He's a good-looking guy. He's like I think his family's background is Ukrainian but you know he's American but uh I think he lives with his Ukrainian grandparents and um you know he's a really interesting guy. You ever see the the movie Funny Games? There's a movie
called Funny Games. It's a horror movie. It's scary. I don't know. It's one of those really has Naomi Watts in it. I think he dislikes Russia. Well, I don't know. I I I just I don't want to get involved in the polit politics part of it, but uh you know, let's just uh you know, I don't want to talk about
different countries really, but yeah, I think that's his background. And uh
but anyway, he said he'll come. He said he'll come by soon, so I hope he does. Okay, throwing this away. little trash around here. Okay, clean it up. Hey guys, how are you? So, yeah, things are going pretty well. Um, I was blocked from like Tik Tok. I don't know why, but then I guess
within 24 hours it was fixed. I did contact customer service there. U, I have a business account on Tik Tok. If you have a business account that allows you, I mean, it disqualifies me from being in the rewards program, some kind of rewards program. Um, but it does allow you to write a letter for autoresponder, which they
will send out without you even, I guess, even if the person sees your Tik Tok is very strict. Yeah, I smoked on camera and then every time I did, if I just had a cigar or showed it for a second or even breathed out smoke, they would restrict the video immediately. So, I can't smoke on I can't smoke even cigarettes on there. Um,
Emma got kicked off of Tik Tok. She had 24,000 subscribers and was doing really well, but she did a few things. She smoked weed on camera accidentally. She said, "Fbody." And she danced too sexy. And then she didn't use a Tik Tok shop or something
or she tried to like kick it off her page or something. I don't know. But uh so she got kicked off of Tik Tok with 24,000. Then she went to YouTube. Hopefully I learned a lesson from her. I'll not smoke on the camera there. I'll be careful of my language. Um yeah, it's a lot more strict, but
I can adapt to the rules. I can adapt to the rules. Yeah. So, we had a good day yesterday. Um wow. You know, Ghost, uh, Ghost, I still owe you some, uh, panel, some panel time, if you're around, ghosts, you know, I love you. And, uh, you know, we had a very interesting day
yesterday. So, let's see who's still blocked. Let's see. Was it easy and Canada Dry and Flirty Diamonds, but they're not for much longer, I think. I just take the times, but
they should be up uh be back up soon. Um yeah, but thank you everybody yesterday that donated. Um doing pretty well. And uh can I talk about ICE doing a Okay. You know, I really don't want to talk about
politics just because it's a little controversial and I really support every human human being. I'm about human rights, not just like, you know, people's um country rights. I'm about, you know, universal human rights. And so
I uh I just want to support that, not get into the specifics. Thank you guys. Yeah. So, I've had some pretty good good meals recently. I don't know what I'm going to eat tonight. Maybe I go to uh Whole Foods in
a while, but I wanted to check in. There we go. I'll put the comments up. I come in and say hi to you guys. Um, they don't close until 10, so I got a little time. I have a few returns to to bring to Amazon and stuff, but but you know what's really great is that
on Tik Tok, my style of reading, which is like um especially since I've been on on YouTube, I do quick readings because I would get bored on uh tarot channels where they just went on and on forever with the individual readings, especially free readings.
So, you would like a longer reading. You know, I do longer readings, but um you know, I think I'm going to do a little bit longer readings anyway on YouTube for free. Then the paid ones will be even longer, but I need to build up my readings again. So, I would appreciate people asking for readings here because on TikTok, that's what that's what that's pretty much all they do is uh ask
questions and I go really fast through the deck. They go through a whole deck pretty much and then then we'll take regular questions and stuff. So, uh, so yeah, hopefully you guys are doing great. We can get these cards organized a little bit. My alien cards there. I've got it. Some dollars left.
Got a couple cigars tonight. So, I'm good on those.
Yeah. So, I assembled that that vacuum cleaner pretty quickly. Uh, wow. 18 people in chat. So, how's everyone doing? Everyone good? How's the week? It's July 28th, so I guess you'd like a reading. Sure. Absolutely. Got you, Christine.
Especially as a member, I'll give you a good six cards. Okay, let's see if I fix a little bit. Yeah, I was having a kind of crazy dream. One of them was about
going out on this like it was like a spaceship or something and then falling to the earth like it was really scary a little bit. Okay. Okay. Is it the alien deck? What we got?
Okay. Thank you, Christine, for gifting a membership. Thank you so much. Let me know who gets that membership, everybody, because I uh I don't see on my my screen, but thank you so much, Christine. What do we got for you? Okay,
Prerog. Oh, great. I know Tre Frog from Scribbles. Scribbles chat. Awesome. Free frog. Congratulations.
Okay.
Okay. Christine, this is good. Okay. Okay. So, Christine, so I have the in the bottom middle, I have this two of wands. And so, this is you working with somebody. This is you uh putting your power with somebody. And on the left and the right of you, we have some powerful powerful um beings. We have this emperor, which is all the kings in the
deck. And we also have the king of wands, a very passionate man. Okay. And so you got these um you're working with some men. Okay. Then we have the justice and the chariot. So if you're involved in some kind of thing for justice or kind of court thing or something like that, it's going to be going ahead in uh definitely your favor right there.
Right? because the chariot is full speed ahead successfully, right? And then for word of advice, we do have like a temperance which is just continue to stay balanced and I think um you're working really well with these people right there. I think they're a good
group and so um I would say just uh stay stay balanced and you know take the good with the bad, one hand with the other. Okay. any advice to Yeah. And just speak the truth. This is the truth card. Ace of of the truth. Let the truth stand apparent. Okay. The truth will set you
free. The truth will bring you success. Okay. So, there we go. You like that? We're back. Hey, what's up, Ilia? Okay. Yeah. So, but yeah, it was a it was a night full of crazy dreams. or some of them were horror forward movie dreams like being lost in the middle of some
woods and stuff. You're welcome Christine that made sense. Um yeah and resonated. Thank you very much. Christine is just awesome. Awesome. Hey Reality Nancy I saw the reality Nancy sent me somebody a reality star this morning like I think you look like this
guy. I have to agree but thank you Ghand. Um they get awarded at random. Make sure if you see at the top of the chat, it'll say the little gift box. Click on that and then make sure you're opted in to uh to receive free um gift memberships. Not only here, it'll be gift memberships everywhere. You'll be eligible if you're not yet.
Otherwise, guys, you can get a membership. By the way, guys, all of my content is behind the member wall. Go like this. Yeah. And so it's just because I have a lot of a lot of haters and so I keep the I keep the content behind the
wall so just members can see it and then everybody can see the uh main show. I'm also going to be doing let's see it's Monday. I need to do a uh members Q&A. I'll do a members only Q&A this week. It will be not be a panel show. be on through YouTube or or uh maybe through Prism or maybe Streamlabs.
You want to catch the past videos? Well, it is five bucks um membership and then you'll have access to everything. There's like at least over over a hundred videos in there. Also longer readings. I think it's very well worth it actually. Um I'm thinking about lowering the price of my Tik Tok membership. I already have memberships on Tik Tok, but on Tik Tok
it's going to be more difficult to, you know, it's like a little more add attention span on Tik Tok and so I need to Okay, you're for Well, maybe you will um receive a membership. I think I might, you know, I'll throw one out there today as Christine did. I threw out about um five
last night, I think. So, I don't know. It's like a little a little worried about spending too much this week, but I'm happy to happy to
donate as well. Maybe you'll maybe you'll get lucky here. So, I do have the pretty cool messy Monday. Yeah, today's messy Monday. Let's see. Hey, Rain. How are you? So, here you go, guys. Good luck everybody.
Hope that she win. Who wants one?
Thank you so much, Christine, for that one. And let's see, Buzzy Bear. Congratulations, Fuzzy Bear. Hey, Jamie's Cowboys. There we go. Fuzzy Bear. Hope. Yeah, I hope you're feeling well, Rain. Sorry, G hands. But maybe Oh, no. I'm sorry. But are you opted in
though? Make sure you're opted in for the memberships, Nancy. I'm sorry, Nancy. Tik Tok is toxic. Well, yeah, but it's like only as toxic as you make it, right? What do you think it's tox What's toxic about it, Rain? I find that it's there's a lot of really hot guys there that I like, you know, and then I last last night I was like, yeah, I know I'm
not like the hottest guy and like I know there's like really hot guys at school because people were stopping at my channel like I think I had like eight almost 10 people in there one time and so um which is pretty good and people were just hanging out and talking and so I was like you know um you know I know like you know there's a lot of guys here thank you for being here and then people started people started sending me roses and
stuff. It was very very flattering. So maybe I you're in love with Just Jen. Well, Just Jen just got a membership yesterday. So if she comes in, I can't wait to see her and for her to see her membership. Oh, retracted. I read it out loud. I'm sorry.
Jacob Chavez, haven't been here in weeks and yet have tons of accounts banned for no reason at all. Jacob, are you are you Joker or No. >> I don't know. Um why you have banned accounts? I can check it out. You retracted it. Yeah, because you know what? I see it. I It doesn't look retracted on um on my Streamyard. It's
just on my my regular chat. So, I'm sorry. I look try to be more careful about Hey, Spunky. Oh. Oh, Spunky's here. Okay. So, Spunky, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry. Um I get sometimes paranoid u and I probably didn't have enough sleep that
day or something like that. And so I'm sorry I said what I said. Okay. I see you. I love you. And uh I just like I felt really dumb after I said it anyway. But then yeah, I'm sorry for your feelings. My apologies.
Yeah. I mean, it's like I I have been like also, you know, I've had a lot of gaslighting by people and so I take things the wrong way sometimes, right? Yeah. I know you have a good heart. You do have a you have a beautiful heart. I know. And I So, I was just in a bad mood and maybe just lashing out and or saying
whatever. So, I'm sorry. I didn't mean nervous. So, thank you. I love you. Yeah. I uh every morning I think of you when I wake up. It's like I sleep on this couch a lot. So, he's I'm going to hang it up,
but uh yeah, it's one of my my favorite things in the world. Okay. Um yes, I know. I'm sorry. I hate I have a I have like a Yeah, I don't know. PETA was I get
sometimes. I was just in a mood and I was like thinking everyone hated me and I don't know. It's hard to explain. In order to gain viewer subs donation, you need to open the doors and let everybody You can't pick and choose at this point, dumbass. Well, Jacob, are so um Jacob, let me ask you, how many um how many subscribers do you have? How many people are in your chats at a time? I want to hear about that.
I know. Thank you, Spunky. Yeah. Well, I feel the same way. I even like the trolls that they're there people that are here supporting. I'm naive. I don't want to learn. I do want to learn, but you're um Jacob, you're telling me this on my best month on YouTube. Okay. This is my best month on YouTube. So, what you're saying is the opposite of what I'm
seeing. I'm seeing I'm getting more donations and more people participating. I'm getting people um people um booting people. I'm getting people supporting the panel. And I wouldn't be doing the panels if I uh yes, even for the trolls. This this this channel started as a you know, I was in troll communities ever. They're kind of maybe not the best
strategy, but you know, it kind of did end up working out for me. You're a mod for a famous streamer in California. You know, you can share who that is, but This isn't good nor decent. Well, if you don't have to watch it, Jacob, but are do another for membership. Okay,
I will. I'll do I'll do one later. Hey, Jesus Christ. Uh, but you're talking about Jacob. You're mentioning, oh, well, if you want to get donations, do this and this. I'm getting donations. And so, I don't know what you're talking. I'm getting I got more donations this month than I have ever. So, I'm doing something right. I think
that I'm also the panel is more appreciated when it's um when it's open, but that's sponsored. But I have to say like yesterday, I mean, I don't I'm not really liking the open panels that that much. I don't like them. But pocket chain. Okay, I say that
I I'm not going to reveal how much I've made. I will say I make probably more than 90% of people that are um that are monetized. Maybe le maybe a little bit less, but definitely I'm definitely getting top tier. Okay.
Yeah. And people, yeah, you don't have to donate. You that is very much appreciated and it's there's just ways to participate in the show almost like producing the show in a way just because I'll go from just me talking and doing what I want to opening the panel and there's sometimes there's really rude people on the panel. Sometimes there's it gets uh disrespectful people saying
the nword and it's harder to control. sometimes I don't feel like I'm part of the conversation and so I'd rather um if I'm going to spend time away from focusing on tarot which I guess some people like but it's like definitely not the you don't have to donate well a couple weeks ago you did in order no you do
have to donate not to join the panel but in order to um if one person would like to sponsor a panel then everybody welcome up what kind of business do I own well this this business right here. It is my um my streamer business which I do on platforms. It's basically I'm my own boss. You do it for the
psyche cast psyche. Yes. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Hey break from streaming already. Nothing random guy. I don't not charging anything to hop on panel. Um I always had the free panels. Um, I do have for an open panel. I would like a
well ghost. Wait, no, it's not just ghost. I do know that like Wow. I do know that that's that's an anomaly, right? But I don't think it will be the only time that happens. Yeah, sweet pe. I know sweet is just for the fun, right? Okay, here we go.
Hey Psyche. >> Hi. >> Is Paige really taking a break? >> I didn't hear I mean I didn't hear that. What? What do you guys have any more information about that or why that might be because it seems like she's been doing super really really well. I know that she's kind of um been bothered a little bit by some of the >> trolls >> trolls or people hitting on her and
stuff, you know, which is to be expected. like uh you know that's why I told her to watch some of Emma because Emma's like very you know you know she Emma has more of that sexual personality like with her boobs kind of like you know more on display and stuff and so she gets a lot of the sexual trolling and she knew she really just knew how to deal with it and then I think she would
like sometimes she would just like say well she's like I used to do phone sex lines and so she was used to some of that and but she just didn't want like too explicit of stuff but she was fine with There's there's a once there was a guy on her chat that was a good donator and he had a he had a giantist squish fetish. Have you ever heard of that? >> I don't know what that is. Is it something you can say or no?
>> Yes, it's something I can say. It's a giant. It's like he he basically would picture like a woman as a giant and like he would >> oh >> get around by thinking he was being squished by her high heel shoe or something like that. And so he'd be like I wish I was a bug and you squished me with your shoe. Like >> he loved me. It's kind of a weird There are some weird Yeah, some weird fetishes. But she
actually what used to be a phone sex operator and she would like do things like a blasphemy fetish. I guess she's like god damn it or say something like that. Guys are really that I mean has some kind of religious I don't know but she has >> is really pure and she has a very um you know honest and sweet heart and she doesn't want to deal with that and I get that you know.
>> Yeah. And so I think she really needs to tell her mods like if you see anything that with a sexual thing or something just like automatically hide the comment and warn the person or time out the people or kick them out. You just have to but it's like you know but it's like it's hard because she started out hey what's up Canada drive. She started out pay started out pretty um with big chats you know um and so she's already
>> Yeah. And so she's gonna have a lot of the people seeing her her image and going in there saying stuff, you know, and it's like like some people don't like that at all. And >> Yeah. She's she's tenderhearted and that I know kind of stuff gets to her and I I feel bad for her. I don't want her to have to deal with that, but that's part of the internet, you know.
>> Yeah. And especially because she is so big so quickly. I know she has some good mods. I just say she just has to do some mod training. go go over the chat like after the show and see like what kind of stuff is not going to be tolerated. Go do a blocked words list like put certain blocked words certain words will come up >> That's a good idea. again. >> Yeah,
>> that's a good idea. Yeah. >> Any any any like um any part you can put body parts in there. You can put or you'll as you go you'll see words that you don't want in your chat. You you'll see as you can just keep adding as you go. >> Ban Bobs. You have nice Bobs. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't say Bobs. bobs
and then you got it will say bobs. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And um let's see. And Canada dry. Um >> I I hope I see her soon. I wish I could talk to her. >> Yeah. I Well, hopefully she'll be by today. Hopefully she'll be by today. >> She is she is truly gifted and she's really good at what she does and I don't want anything to deter her from that.
And you know, even when you're doing good work, there's like evil forces that come at you, you know, and and I don't want that to, you know, make her miss her mark. She's going to she's going to be something. I know she will. And she >> she's doing so much good and she needs to keep doing that for the people that appreciate it. And we uh protect her from the jerks.
>> You'll see that there's not that many like like people with a good like great-hearted people like like her. She's like an anomaly kind of on YouTube. was kind of like a little bit rough. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I feel like uh Paige is the innocent version of me. >> Like she means well, but like I've been so jaded that, you know, I'm kind of up, but you know, she is like
she's just an innocent and pure person and she must be protected at all costs. Like >> Agreed. Agreed. >> Yeah. >> And so guys, if I mean hopefully she is back soon. I hopefully that that year off is not is not true. But if you know, if you do um see Paige, her her channel is Prairie Winds and um Wildflower Art. Wild Flowers. Yeah, Wild Flowers. And
so, yeah, go make sure you like, you know, stick up for her in her chat if you see, you know, if she needs like a backup and you'd be a good mod for her or something like that, you know, at least >> I think we're only saying good things about her. We're trying to encourage her. I don't know if it's true or not. And we're, you know, we're just saying it's it's a rumor, >> you know, we're not trying to spread rumors about her. We just want her to be
okay. >> Yeah. It's not we're not nothing negative. There's nothing negative. She nothing negative to her page. She's a >> she has a great heart and she's a talented reader and I think that she I think that YouTube would be good for her. I think there's just like a few things, you know, and she's had a good training like looking at my chat, too. Okay.
>> Yes. And I want to say um let me see I have where's my okay I just want to say hold on not so Canada dry um you are um another 24 hours Canada dry we can party
though it's a party um so gossip is haram yeah so yeah but I did want to in in in my words. I wanted to say I'm sorry, Spunky, for like, you know, the other day I kind of said something dumb. >> Yeah. Well, thanks. Very dumb. Very >> It really hurt my feelings because I dumb. hope that you get the gist of who I am.
You know, yes, I may make stupid jokes once in a while and say things that are inappropriate, but like at the heart of me, like I don't mean anybody harm. I I really wish no ill will on anyone, even the absolute biggest trolls on the internet. I swear. I I just want everyone to be, you know, happy and healthy and and even though I say things and share things with you, I I don't want you to think less of me. It's just
this place is is a very um vulnerable place and sometimes you share things that >> are private and you shouldn't. And >> I'm sorry if that made you feel some sort of way about me, but that is not the core being of who I am. >> I understand. And it's like I think I was I got triggered. I I did used to have some some friends or whatever that
would kind of gaslight and they'd say things like, "Oh, well, not necessarily why don't you go do that?" But it's like they would say that about other people kind of referring to me. I It's hard to explain, but I felt like uh >> Well, just just know I have your best interest at heart. I do. And I >> Thank you. >> only wish the best for you. And if you
ever have a problem, I I hope that you'd, you know, let me know somehow and reach out to me. I would love to help you in private if you ever had an issue, you know. >> Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. And yeah, you were the one that stepped in like when I was like in a bad place and >> made me feel better. And it's like and >> yeah, know you just you've been nothing but kind and sweet and I I I lash out at the wrong people sometimes. And
>> yeah, it's easy to to pick on the people who are nice. I get it. I know. And um sometimes I am the butt of that. And it's okay if it makes you feel better, but I don't want it to make you feel worse in the long run either. You know what I mean? >> And I did I did I did want to mention too because you were mentioning obtrusive obtrusive thought intrusive
thoughts, right? And I also have dealt with those in like you know maybe maybe a couple years ago in a I was in a really bad I was like almost paralyzed my thoughts. It was like because the truth of thoughts is like just like you you you think the worst things and that you would never want to think and you'll just think the worst things just to >> you just think them. It's like you have an angel and a devil on your shoulder
and sometimes the devil takes over and it's a it's a definite balance in your mental health and you have to get a grip on that and tell it to shut the up >> and go away, >> you know? And that's a good it's a good um gauge for me if I'm starting to like go down the wrong path mentally like getting depressed or having anxiety or that sort of thing. When I start to have those things, I'm like, Okay, I
need to like step back and realize like, what am I doing for self-care in my life and focus a little more on positive things and, you know, surround myself with with good things, you know, rest, reading, self-care, bubble baths, those kind of things, and and try to force that out of there. >> I think everybody everybody has them, but does does everybody talk about it? No. But I think it's a good thing to
talk about, too, because >> we all have it. >> We all do. And the more you have those bad mental things, the more you need to realize that you need to get a grip on things and you know straighten yourself out. >> And also like not to take you like you we can think anything. Our brain can think anything. Our brain is very complicated. We can think >> it's insane like the things that can that can like pop in your head and it's
not you. It's not it's not you at all. And um it um it's only when you act or say those things when you start to have a problem. you know, that's when people start to go down the path of psychosis and and, you know, have horrible things happen to them. And and it's a good it's a good thing to identify that those are
negative things and not follow them, listen to them, and and push them out, get them away, right? >> But I think it's an even it's an even better thing to realize why are those things coming into my mind? >> You know, what is what is allowing that? You know, and it there's a mental health route of it and there's also a route of like spirituality and what are you allowing? What are you doing in your
life that's allowing maybe demonic forces or whatever to enter >> your realm and cleanse yourself and push it out, you know? >> Right. and also what we what we use for entertainment or what we think is normal, what we think is f like funny or things like that. Like like it's really good to examine like why we why we think the way we do and where these thoughts
are coming from and also yeah our some of our thoughts are not our own. I do believe in like telepathy and people can also also like um >> subconsciously thoughts can be kind of programmed into your mind too but some if some people have a awareness of the subconscious and how the subconscious works and they're able to play on that they can really manipulate people because the subconscious is not it's like a level of unawareness people have
so you don't necessarily know it's like it's all about learning to take control of yourself and like >> people who have um in the most simp simplistic way like terrible nightmares and recurring things that happen to you in your sleep, in your subconscious that are like haunting you, you know, it's something that you need to address to be able to make your mind healthier
>> and and get rid of those things. So, don't let things torment you, you know, >> and it's a great conversation and I really haven't addressed like the like intrusive thoughts thing, but it's like they really um they really can be paralyzing because you believe like at first that that they are coming from you or like why would I think that or like what is this in my mind? So, it's all
about um just getting to know yourself a lot better, trusting yourself, loving yourself ultimately, and like having that like the angel kind of take over and uh control the devil part of you because we all have the the light in the dark inside of us, right? We all have >> Absolutely. Like I said, there's like an angel and a devil on your shoulder and it's like important to lean into that angel part of you. Now, of course, you
need the devil a little bit to protect yourself at times, but don't ever let it take control of you because oh my god, you know, >> right? And that's true. There's actually a book called um by by a Buddhist um Tibetan Buddhist llama. She's actually she was like actually an American that went over to Tibet and studied Buddhism
under a llama and and and eventually became one. And so, uh her name is Llama Sultram Along. and I actually got to meet her in person and everything, but she has a book called feeding your demons and it's about um actually like she talks about these meditations where it's like instead of trying to kill your demon or fighting your demon or starving
your demon is like she's like your demon is like has some kind of need that is like trying to like call like it's like almost about having compassion for your demons and then picturing yourself as like you know feeding them and things like that. >> I think that's the thing you need to understand why they're there. why are they there? >> And you know, get to the root cause of of why you're having that issue and that will solve it, I think.
>> Yeah. I don't know. I don't know everything obviously, but um >> well, just just like just like a like, you know, there could be like a psychopath, but the psychopath like loves their family or things like that or like they have like a pet. they're they're good to their pet and so that's like a re there is like a aspect of them that is like a loving aspect and it's like and maybe through trauma and other
things they it's become perverted or something like that >> I've had to take I've had to take care of patients that are um like when I worked in the hospital that were like incarcerated and through gossip from the nurses you would hear why they're there somebody would look them up and they would have done terrible terrible things and I had to just like put myself aside
from that and take care of the person cuz that's my job and that's sense, you know, and that's really really hard when you know someone has done terrible things to another person. And I I I um could never get to the point that I could understand why somebody would do those things, but I would just try to focus on like they're not 100% bad and they're here and I'm here to do a job and like this is what I have to do to
just get through this shift and like, you know, do what I'm doing. Um, >> it's it, >> you know, I would I would try to like personalize them and talk to them and say, you know, find the things that that are good in their life and the qualities that they have that may be good to try and focus on the good things. But, um, >> even the worst of the worst do have good qualities. It doesn't make them an
overall good person, but um, you know, focusing on that helps you get through doing your job sometimes. >> To take care of them. But um it is >> Yeah. amazing the evil that lives in this world. And um what I want to say to you, psyche is that I I would never hope that you would like classify me in that
category because like I uh I think that I like you know I would say like 98% of the things that I've done in my life have been to help other people. And you know I I >> I see you as like I see you as an angel. like really it's like almost like it's like especially like the medical people here like we have so many nurses um and
then you know you're like a doctor like um and so any this is like you know that's like the ultimate caring for human beings is like to do you know going to the medical field I mean it's like and then you've seen some things I'm sure that are like >> most people cannot deal with Yeah. >> Oh absolutely terrible things. Um I have resuscitated children that their mother
has tried to murder them >> and yeah um I I think I have PTSD from that. So I mean it is just the things that I've seen um and dealt with have have like made me a little twisted in a way and I'm sorry that like my dark sense of humor is sometimes a way to deal with that kind of Um, but yeah, it's uh it like for example, like
the time that I was having those intrusive thoughts, it was taking care of the mother who said, "Now I want to kill myself." And she did ultimately kill her three children. And you know, in my head, I was like, "Yeah, you should do it." You know, >> it's like understandable certain things. Yeah. >> Explaining the context, you get it. But like in no circumstance is it ever okay
to be like, "Yeah, just do you know, like I understand that, but um you know, you think those things and you're like, like I can't say that and I don't mean that and I don't want this person to do that, but at the same time, it's like >> the world is so messed up, psyche. It is so terrible. It is awful. >> Yeah. >> The things that people are capable of. And I can't believe
>> I think that's my biggest thing. I think because I'm so nice, I can't believe that evil lives on that level in people, especially mothers. Uh it has kind of like shaken me to the core. It is it has pushed me into therapy because I can't handle it. You know, the stuff that I've seen have like
has like traumatized me. So, um yeah, it's just it's mind-blowing. That's the that's the only thing I can say. mind-blowing that that kind of evil exists in this world. And it's so sad. And when you see that kind of stuff, it is so serious that you come on the internet and this stuff is like child's play to me. This the that we do to each other on the internet and play with
each other and the trolls and all this is like nothing. This is amusing. This is like stupid pitily childish fun entertainment and it gets me away and out of my mind of thinking of those terrible dark things. And I appreciate you for that, psyche, because um before I met you and before I started coming in here, I was spending a lot of my extra time maybe um like uh ruminating on
those thoughts and you have really distracted my mind in a lot of ways more than a medication could ever do. So, thank you. >> Oh, no problem. Yeah. And I like this too. It's like it having a like having people to talk to every like for me it's like you know a year year ago I wasn't talk well I was I had started talking in chat rooms and stuff like that but I
wasn't like you know not with not to an audience or not to you know like a just like so many people like I had my first Valentine's Day this year where I was like not alone you know just like sitting alone like with you know I just have a having people to talk to makes a big difference and also can distract from just ourselves. That's what people go crazy in solitary confinement, you know? It's like
>> absolutely >> it's like the world is about other people and we like almost need other people like like we need like air and you know it's like um >> human connection even though it can be a negative thing is such a beautiful thing most of the time you know even in the most simplistic of ways and I have realized that I need to maybe reach out
to more people and stop focusing so much on work and living in my mind concentrating on work and uh that that has been a really good thing for me. So, thanks for that. >> Well, thank you for I mean it's like you you bringing like you know positivity and like love and uh interesting conversation and just fun and spontaneous you know you're so much fun
on the show and it's like you know >> sorry my dog is choking in the background. Are you okay? >> Don't swallow that. >> Sorry. Oh my god. You okay? She's um chewing on a a bone that is She's trying to swallow it and I had to pull it out of her.
>> Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I was making I was trying to I'm I'm doing like not to spoil too much, but I'm like So I'm doing like Justin and you as like the lovers card and then I'm doing but also but if you look at the the lovers card and the devil card, it's like the same. It's like a very similar layout of the card. They're like very they're actually like and that's also the same numerical value. the lovers and sticks and then
the devil's 15. And so they they're like these parallel cards and so I was gonna, you know, put like you on both of those, but when I kept trying to do the devil card, uh they the chatbt was aus refusing to make it for me like and so whenever I show it that was it took so long. I I had to tell it like 20 times to like to do it. Like it kept saying, "Oh, it's too risque."
First I said like >> interesting. I said and I all I said was like draw a blonde bosommy woman and a man that looks like Mr. Clean and like you know and and the devil card but it's like I just knew what the devil card had. The devil card is usually they're >> That's great. And so then I said then I naked on the front. said, "Okay, well scantily clad." And it went into scantily clad, but uh but I I
would like to get um hopefully as I do this project, I want to get everybody's actual picture because I want the car to look like them, you know? I want like So as we go through and then I'll you know I'll show everybody their car before beforehand to make sure like, you know, they're okay. >> I haven't used YouTube too much, but can you make a thread where we can post them
somewhere or No. Yeah. >> Well, yeah, we can. I actually I have on my on my um I have on my members board like I think I have like a community board on the YouTube and so it's just like just just the members can see it >> and so I would do it on there or Yeah. Or >> you know and on Tik Tok is really cool. I can do things like that like um like um I have a membership there already like that people can if people join the
membership there's private bulletin boards in the back of it and stuff like that. But I guess YouTube is kind of like doing the same thing. But uh >> yeah, go ahead. >> Address Ilia for a second. He asked if I have any hobbies. I do have hobbies, Ilia. But it's very hard when you're a mother and you're a girlfriend of somebody who also has a child that has no mother that you take care of and you
have a job like mine. So, no, I don't have a lot of time for hobbies. Uh in my free time, I do travel and I do visit theme parks a lot and try to get away and enjoy things that way. But um no, I don't get time to knit. I don't get time to uh you know, sew or garden or anything like that. And you know, I know those would be great things for me, but
I don't. So, I just do what I can for other people. And that leaves me, you know, in the dark sometimes, but I have to do what I can to take care of myself when I can, too. >> Yes. And that's the number one. Yeah. The number one thing you have to do is self-care, right? Hey, Gotti, how are you? >> Yeah. Selfcare is a huge thing. And it's hard when you're a woman and you're in the field of medicine because you're
still expected to do everything you do at home and you work, you know, sometimes 60 to 80 hours a week and you're on call and you're getting woken up in the middle of the night by patients and then you're getting woken up in the middle of the night by family and you don't get your rest and it drives you crazy and it's just it's a lot. >> Mhm. >> It's a lot. But but you know, I'm not
bitching. Like I still I still love what I do. I would never change it. If I wanted to, I would just do it. You know, I could do anything else if I wanted to. But, um, you know, I I still love what I do and I I do it and I give of myself and I just hope, you know, I can live as long as I can to help as many people as I can. >> Don't you work like crazy hours like,
you know, like >> it's actually not that bad. Um, I work I work 8 to six a Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I'm off on Wednesdays and the weekend. But when I say I'm off, I'm not really off. I'm like getting phone calls constantly and, you know, having to go on and like send in medications or, you know, someone has an e thing. And I do have people that
cover me, but they're not always there, too. So, um, and then I'm on call for the weekends like three or four times a year. So, those those are like you're getting woken up at any time for someone that calls the office. I mean, thank God I only work primary care. I make less money because I do that, but because I do that, I do get to have more of a life. So >> it's not it's not so bad. It's better than working as a hospitalist.
>> But you've done that, right? Have you have have you did you do all that? Like >> yeah. Um yeah, I've been I I have been um practicing medicine for eight years, but 10 years before that I worked in medicine as well um in the hospital and um that was in administration and stuff and then doing all my residency and everything too. That's that's like it
was crazy crazy. Uh it like when I was in school I still worked as well. So um it it was like work all night and then go to school during the day. I did my program in person. So and my my college was about 45 minutes from where I live. So I would have to drive there do classes after working all night and then
I would arrange it to where I'd finally get to crash like maybe like 30 hours. I would I would stay for 30 hours or so and then crash for like 12 and then go back and like do it again. It was nuts. I can't even imagine the the torment it's done to my body. But that's why I'm up in the middle of the night now. >> Well, I'm sure it's like, you know,
people are probably like, you know, it's like you're probably a joyful like, you know, there's a lot of I'm I'm sure that people your patients love you, right? You have like a lot of >> They do. I I um I mean some people hate me because they just don't they hate everyone but um for the most part like I have some of the greatest reviews of
anybody in the company and I want to say we have like 300 providers within our company and I'm uh I think my review is like a 4.9. So I would say it's pretty good and most of the people that are unhappy with me are drugseeking and I don't give into that. So, you know, I I hold the bar high when it comes to people who are addicts and that kind of thing. And I really try to get them help
and they don't want to hear that. >> Or people who are, you know, they maybe have a health condition they don't really want to properly care for because they don't have the resources to it and I'll try to get them the resources and they really don't want to do their part and then they're mad that I'm not like caring for them. But I can't pay for your meds. So, you know, but I have for some people like I've I've gone out of
my way to um even buy somebody their prescription when they have something wrong and they can't afford it. Like I've had people cry to me and I've called the pharmacy and paid it and I said just go pick it up. So, um I I have gone out of my way to be really nice to people. So, the ones that deserve it like get it. So, >> yeah. I'm just I'm just uh through last
year like my father passed away last year but um you know he had like some really great nurses and like the nurses really and the doctors and things like that make it a lot a lot easier. I mean, it's at that time of that time. >> And nurses are angels. Angels. Like, um I've had my ass saved by nurses when you give, you know, like a a half awake
order in the middle of the night and they'll be like, "Do you mean that?" I'm like, "Oh crap." Like, "No, I didn't." Like, "I meant this." You know, they're they're wonderful. Um, everybody in the healthcare community has been wonderful to me. And I I live in a um a decentsized community, but I have always worked for the same hospital system and uh like they're they're so wonderful.
Like everybody knows me and they they get me and it's great. >> Good. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Gotti, do you want to go up, honey? I'm sorry. >> I want to pull a few of these prime cards for you. The true prime cards. >> Yay. >> Let's see what comes up.
Let's see. We'll pull like few of these. You got me this great deck. This is like a such a It's a very dark deck, but it's like, you know, not Oh, okay. So, this was so dog tag flipped over. So, maybe something uh something uh something tagged something um >> ah someone from the military. >> A dog tag is better than a tow tag.
>> Yeah, it is. Okay. Dog. Okay. So, dog tag. So, let's see. Um, the cards have been flipping out for me. I've been kind of perfecting my shuffle a little bit and certain cards flip out start flipping out. >> Bulbas, I don't do prostate exams. They are exam care now is a PSA level, which is blood drawn. And if it's elevated,
then I send you to urology. So, I will not stick my finger up your butt. Sorry. >> Okay. You got the sink. There's the stink. Okay. I see rushing water. Maybe taking a bath. Okay,
this says fridge. >> The kitchen is calling. It's dinner. You have dinner. And what else? Leftovers. Um, and what else? You got the incinerator. We'll do a fireplace. >> You're burning something. burning
something. Okay, let's do one more.
>> Bloody handprint. >> Oh, >> that's terrible. >> It's number five. I love Well, so these are these are u I think you have to use your imagination in these a little bit, you know? It's like >> Absolutely. They're I love them. >> That's so cool. So, uh, yeah, I've been doing some
readings on Tik T So, I started Tik Tok and, uh, it's actually going really well. It's like, um, you know, I'm there's a lot of really hot people. Have you been on Tik Tok? It's pretty crazy. >> I have I have like um I know I have an account. I'm gonna find you right now. I'm going to look. >> I don't ever use it except for people like my my girlfriends will like just send me messages on there and I'm like,
you know, videos and stuff to look at. So I'm always like, you know, I just go on there and watch those >> lo. >> Yeah. >> Well, it's like you can like you basically like dooms you can like scroll through and it's like and then there's like some very very very very attractive people on there. Some being some being really sexier than others and stuff. But uh >> Oh yeah. >> Yeah. Like there's some pretty hot guys there. And then you can talk to them and
it's like and then there's a lot of straight guy. I know there's a lot of guys that are straight, but it's like then it's like I like to see how they react when like, you know, I I will I will send like you can send like this little thing that says join my fan club. It goes in their head or whatever like the little graphics. It has all these graphics and but >> they're probably like super excited when you message them. Let me see. >> Psyche Awakens.
>> Yeah, the Psyche Awakens Tarot. It's tarot. It's not not just It's a Psych Awakens Tarot. It has like a bigger word. >> Is it all one word? Tarot. >> Yeah, all one word. Let me I'm gonna find you. >> Hey, there's monkey on there, too. So, you'll see me. >> Okay, cool. Yeah, I just like I follow so many
people that it's like I it's like he's putting me on time out on following back. But >> I found Dash. >> Oh, cool. Yeah, you can do like a cool little thing. Also, it like it um automatically like takes like a few minutes out of your out of your um your lives and makes it into like a short puts music on it and then you can share the shorts with everybody. And so I get a lot of subscribers like that. So
putting those out on the on the pages and people see the shorts and gives a little sample of the best type of your show like >> Oh, that's really cool. Like it automatically makes that. >> Yeah. It also has an autoresponder. I like sign up for the business, you know? It's like you can transfer your account to a business account and then you can put like an autoresponder. So I put my like my YouTube channel there and like say come oh come for a free reading on my YouTube channel to like so and then
it goes to like people that I don't even like contact they just like that people that just even see my profile or come across my page like sometimes it will go to them and people will start writing me and so it can bring a like a lot of leads and things like that. I already have someone that wants to see a private reading there and >> that's awesome. >> Yeah. When I when I started looking at Terret stuff, it was on TikTok. Was the first time like scrolling through in the middle of the night and people going live on there seem to make a good amount
of money. >> So, um when you go live, let me know. But, um you can also message me on there. That's a good way to private message me if you if you have an issue or want to talk or anything. So, >> thank you. Yeah, it's a little bit it's a different it's a kind of different it's a way different uh >> like website because it's like people are like you know people come to YouTube to like you know for like hour long like
hours long shows to like you know and like they like like really focus on people but Tik Tok is like people are just scrolling through and it's like then they can find people discover people and then like then they kind of connecting with you but otherwise >> they follow you. >> Yeah. But most of the people are going to be like just just like scrolling by you which is kind of like I just have to get like over rejection a lot because I know I'm not like the best looking person. I'm like kind of older than some
of the people there. It's kind of like you know there's a lot of people in their 20s and 30s and like >> there's a wide variety of people on there. Don't don't say that about yourself because I've seen plenty of very very old women on there doing tarot cards and yeah I have seen >> all sexes and races and and everything. It was a big mix of everyone. >> Yeah. But Yeah. But Yeah. But I when I did I I did I said that last night and then someone started sending me roses
and so yeah there are like really sweet people. It's just like my page does moves a little bit slower than some of the other pages I've seen. But you know it just takes work. It's like, you know, I have to do it every day like I did YouTube and like um and then just keep at it. And it's like that was my secret on YouTube is just do it every day and then you're going to like get people that are like regulars and then that
that like really like really like you and and build the audience. And >> so I have a great um so many people here in the chat I know and it's like it's a and here a lot and enjoy the show and I'm really thrilled about that. It's like, you know, it's like my dream come true is basically um being able to stream and do a show. I've always wanted to do it, but it's
like I never had broadcasting school or I never like, you know, was knew, you know, do did video camera stuff or anything, but now it's like everybody can like kind of like with AI and with uh the technology like you know, people can like finally like manifest some of these dreams. It's like, you know, you know, you can really do anything. Yeah,
it's really awesome. I just set sent uh or set it to notify me anytime you go live. So >> Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, because I have really nice I have really friendly people in there like Oh, actually, okay. Did you know you know that you know Vicki? Do you know Vicki? Who Vicki is? Like she's been on with >> my buddy? >> Yeah. And she's really cool, but she was
backstage. I'm sorry to call her out again. She was backstage and then she like lifted up her dress and was playing with her boo playing with her boobs backstage and then I I started screaming and pointed out and then she started laughing and uh and she kept doing it and I don't know. So >> I think she likes to uh poke the bear,
you know what I mean? Sorry, Justin is watching TV. I'm gonna go out of this room because he's literally >> Yeah, but I think >> as far as >> someone said that she's C someone said that she's CB and then CB was in my TikTok live the other night like so friendly and like so awesome to us. I like I like her. So
>> is CB. She She's just a little different. Um but I I think she loves a reaction. She loves the attention. So don't >> Oh, don't be don't be offended. I mean, I know you are, but um I wasn't >> I wasn't offended. I thought it was I thought it was shocking. No, people have done that occasionally though. Like, you know, um it's been some guys and
>> Did I lose No, you I hear you. Do you hear me? You might have lost me. >> But yeah, I've had people backstage um get naked a few times and not only in the the freak off, but it just my little backstage my little backstage area on stream. You already can see that. Whoever's backstage, they can put their camera on. You can see them. Do you hear
me still? Oh, we lost Bunky. Um, but yeah, guys, if you um I will um probably like I do like to be on TikTok maybe like late at night. Um recently it's just been for like an hour. I'm kind of kind of tired today. Um so I
don't know. Might get some food food soon and then come back. Um, I'm just like my I just smoked some pot and my mouth got really dry. But I have a couple things to return to Whole Foods, too. I might do that today. Let's see. Or I was having the craziest dreams, though. Oh my gosh.
Hi, Rudy. Rudy's sitting on my lap right here. Here's Rudy. You can see Rudy. Hi Rude. Hi. You sitting on my lap? He's so warm and soft. He's a big little soft psychi. Can you give you have to do that yourself?
Just go buy enema um bulbasack and then uh you will Oh, you will uh you will be clean. Okay. So, it's 6:54. Okay. I'm I'll be back at 8:00 Pacific Standard Time. Okay. We will be We'll have fun. I'll be on until I fall asleep
or get tired. Okay, I'm going to grab a little bit of something to eat and uh and then return some things at Whole Foods for Amazon and uh I'll come back and I'll be back on tonight. Okay, I love you guys. It's been this a little bit hour stream, but I'll be back for some more soon. Love you.
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