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Psyche explores his Greek Magical Papyri tarot deck, sharing mythological stories and interpretations of various cards featuring Greek and Egyptian deities, while also discussing his personal experiences and connections with his cats.
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Observers see the surface.
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Browse era →so how are you that was an interesting night I'm sorry a little more professional so it was a um it was a interesting few days because I was really stressed up up to Halloween and all this stuff was happening and nothing was going
right what's up Chris thank you for coming too um and then on Halloween like you know um because I I don't really hang out with many people very often so then Halloween like I got a little bit happy and then uh then these people called and of course I'm like come hang over I mean
um I already talked to my neighbors asking them to go to the Halloween party and everything and they said no but uh so these people came over and they came over and they were fun and nice and stuff but uh probably not the right type of B thank you but I got some good um stuff out
tonight though but tonight yeah that was um just uh people saying really weird things and trying to like trip me out and stuff and so I'm used to all that stuff though so what do I
have I have a deck right around here someplace yeah the tarot of the Greek magical papy the PGM tarot so I bought this deck
a couple years ago but this has all the Greek gods in it so there's like her that's a yeah heck it say I'm right okay so I know Greek mythology pretty well and so I think I know who all these
cards are but I might not that's I have a little cheat she right there but let's see if I know a story I can tell out of these cards about one of these
people okay so this is a brassex ABX he's like a gnostic God and they used to make Talisman out of him he had a head of a chicken he had legs of serpents and uh also it says I a that's pronouned like yo right there i a o so braxas and
he was very powerful in Magic and protection so in the go in the notic tradition he was always used as a protective Talisman and that kind of thing and he he he has a lot of Martian energy what does this have to say about a brassex a brassex what card is that and so this
is a major a major I believe okay
brass but uh I do I did stud him a lot there's like a lot of Talisman that are made of him like there's protective Talisman of him and basically that's where his name Abracadabra comes from there and so Carl y would talk about abrasax and he would say he's the perfect example of Duality and all the Duality coming together so it's almost like a Baff character and he has a whip
too so he's like and a shield and so he's defended and he's like he can attack and everything he's like U he also like is associated with the number 365 like the entire year and so he's like representing the everything he's like good good and evil he's God and the devil that kind of thing in the Gnostic tradition he's seen as the symbol of the
perfect blendings of of um all the dualities yeah you got some lips you got C cat and Ninetails or anything interesting like U yeah I I I don't have um I don't think I have any whips right now but I have my cats protect me right
there this is this is this is my cat um this is this is Trix and Trix like went away for a couple days and then I was like as soon as I I let him go I was like missing him so bad cuz he's like the one that is like licking my nose in the morning he uh he like just cuddles under the
cupboards with me oh my my other cats all do too but he's just was one of the more friendly ones and then so then that on Halloween morning I woke up and I was just like sad about it and I was like if there's any way I could get him back someone gets an allergy or something and then that day they called and said they they had an allergy and then he has he had to come home so I yes I was so
happy and so yes yeah is definitely oh my gosh magic magic tricks Lenor I mean all my cats have like a spirit they have protetive protective quality and they're always very concerned about me that's why I like this sign they should say cats
but something called worse than that but um worse than a witch but uh cats are definitely like they're like little astral ninjas they can see all kinds of things yeah so U so yeah so he's like the most
he's very affectionate Lenor is so affectionate and I've had Lenor for the longest but and she's my black cat and uh I've just had certain circumstances where they've chased bad energies away even off of me they they' come up and scratch me before chasing things away I see so this is like a a Le a
Libra energy okay Urban Adventures holy math that's really nice to say um but it's not necessarily true I don't know um thank you so Fus so I've got yeah I've got people Pro they were already laughing at in the
other chat room about me but uh Theus is the goddess of justice and and uh law it's all it's like the um it's like the goddess ma ma and she had the scales and so my would always weigh your hearts up but that looks like the Libra scales and so it's basically about finding balance and then she's holding a torch so it's
like a bringing Enlightenment and that's like the big Enlightenment is like justice in the upright because when things are like in like fair and as they're meant to be and as like things are balanced out then it's better for everybody so it's always but in in the Egyptian story there's a nubis was in the picture too and Anubis if you had a good
relationship with a nubis he would tip the scale for you and help you if your heart wasn't quite light enough but and then we have the sun god it's the sun god Apollo he's holding a looks like a Laurel Laurel Branch and he's holding his liar so he was a god of Music um and the
god of the sun then uh he's depicted as a beautiful youth and uh the this uh this Branch the Laurel Branch is associated with Victory and so they would always wear these Laurel crowns and so that was it's also a very powerful healing herb and things like that but yeah he was the god of Music one
time um one time the Centaur challenged Apollo to like um like a a contest and then um okay no actually it was pan that did and then the Centaur judged the contest and he said Apollo won and
so um or he said the pan one so Paulo had him skinned and stuff like that um but yeah um so he was he could be brutal there's also a good story called Cassandra Cassandra was a a propheus but nobody would um well and she and she was dating
Apollo and um Apollo wanted her to be his wife and stuff and she said no and so he Apollo spit in her mouth and said said whoever hears your prophecy no one will ever believe your prophecies basically and so that was Cassandra and so there's something called the Cassandra complex where it's like somebody's saying things and they're never
believed and so very interesting I also see on this the liar has like a pine Pinal cone like a pine pine cone so it's like very associated with getting into like these cores of the brain hey blade what's up thank you thank you guys for coming um so I'm just coming up with these like I'm remembering stories about everyone I
know a lot of stories about about them and this has like this is a a nostic deck and so this is Egyptian is mixed in with this because the Greek and Egyptian are very similar and there's all these corresponding Gods there hey r witch nice to see you and we have a nubas right here and it
looks like like a like a two of Cups kind of card but there's like that kind of Jackal like a Anubis dog it says says world that such a man be called my husband would would that
such a man be called my husband and so I think they're saying that U there's like a lot of loyalty there and these are also spell cards too and so what card is this the two of
two of Cups suit of
Cups says it says love connection and so yeah would that I would that I meet such a great man so maybe they're probably comparing it to I like the loyalties the character of a dog I love how the dog is so loyal loving caring somebody pulled a car from me the other day and and the dog card came up and I almost started crying because it's like it just said there's unconditional love and loyalty
there and I just relate to that so much and I always love dogs and everything and I wish I could have a dog but uh but he would chase the kitty cats away this cat is so happy being back though she's so happy because she has all these brothers and sisters and they were playing and running around and
stuff she never was running around like that before with them and we have another card it says it looks like I wish I have from one more light I'm
sorry it says on it act it says act in whatever your mind is moved to and no longer can hold back so this is saying listen to your
gut instinct listen listen to your mind and uh and go forward and like we're creating a little lattice pattern there this person is always also very protected right there with it's almost like a serpent but it's also like really reminds me of a bow or like a some kind of weapon but this says don't don't think about it too much it says whatever comes to your
mind and is like at the Forefront and you cannot like no longer hold back go with that okay I'll do one more of these cuz these are a little bit
obscure okay well the card is Kalisto and so I think this is the star card he she's doing the ads above so below and um I I know um the story of kie the
Indian goddess and you know Indian goddesses also correspond to the Egyptian goddesses because dionas went to India the go diis went to India on elephants and stuff like that and uh tried to bring the culture there I have one more hold on so this is th this is this is the god of like writing he's a scribe God he
like writes down everything that's going on he has the head of an Ibis um and he's showing like a little it looks like the scales again but it's something flowing and there's like a oh yeah there's an ank right there there's an ank there and it's coming out of like a little a little jar um and then so the to there's a deck
called the thth deck bye rainbow thank you for coming it's a little bit you know a little bit late for me tonight but but I wanted to come on and say hi to you guys cuz I haven't been on for a while so I'll go with like another I'll go with this book right here it's called The Book of
symbols it's a nice big book and so I'm going to be opening up to a random page and we'll see what symbols are so we got the symbol today of the arm so then almost like the symbol in the last that last car we saw it almost
looked like an arm like an elbow and so of course the writing is I need magnifying glass to see but I can still see a little bit say whether um whether one feels um feels the need to mouth with the hand or lives hand to mouth or
sometimes words with gesture the arm is a middleman and so you see it like the gods had like more than one arm because they had like many jobs to do it once and so we're almost the same way so that's that's my another cat hold this is pie p wants to sit right in front of the camera he's
like you're choking John um Let me let me like cheer everybody up you see him hold on here you go see him okay I so I really have never looked at that that book and the writing is very very small and it's like the lighting is not very good so but that's that's like the armor is a
really interesting symbol though it's like think about how powerful having arms and the hands and and everything we can do with them and it's like we can do amazing things with them and we can create anything we want with them and we're the only creatures with the posable thumbs and so we can build things and use tools and that kind of thing and so
we have a little advantage over other other um some other species but animals all have their own special gifts um they said when they created all the animals uh they gave each one of a a gift and then by the time they as humans hey what what's up by the time they they
uh they made humans all the gifts were were gone and so um they they decided to make um man a gift and so they made Pandora and uh but see we can't like we can't dig as well as you know go first and stuff like that we can but um animals have their own special qualities and so I that's
why I don't mind being turned into an animal on you know people using animal decks or being compared to the animal because animals are every animal is a part of us and
so that's Magic magic help
me so yeah my my cats like every morning knock a bunch of stuff off my desk and I they just uh kind of moved this card around I saw that this is a the card Seth see Seth Seth was a kind of a his head it's an unidentified animal it looks like kind of kind of like a rabbit
or ante eater a little bit in the head but set was the basically the devil he was red he was the opponent of Horus um Isis could not stand him there's some very explicit stories about Isis and horse andet and everything but he was basically means the opposer
okay so with every in the in the Dual system if there's a God there's a devil and so there's there's always like the opposer and everything so he was that opposing Force he's and he was uh there was a few pharaohs named after set but he was not very popular God I would say now he's more popular now there's a
whole Temple of set that came out of the Church of Satan that was Michael Aquino and things like that um and Nicholas Shrek and Zena Le okay let's see what's here each time I choose to tune in with uh the spirit guidance of the highest
truth Tru shows up for me and so it's a simple process of like getting in alignment and tuning in and messages messages will come to you the answers will come to you like anybody can learn to read cards or whatever it's a matter of being able to listen to your intuition oh excuse me excuse me I'm sorry oh my
goodness set is instead my this font is really small I'm so sorry I don't know if I can fix that I'm sorry your ears won't stop ringing well that's a good sign that's a a good confirmation sign or a good uh sign that these beings are trying to communicate
with you so I always look for the ringing of the ears and I always also look for like if I hear motorcycles outside if I hear car honk at the same time if my phone rings at the same time it's just like the synchronicity you can you can always like look for little confirmations even even if you burp sometimes people like that's a confirmation burp people will be eing
psychic greeings and then they'll start burping for some reason and so it's just like it's a sign that something's going right okay okay let's because it's not it's almost daytime so I have the Guardians of the night tarot and I'm sorry if I miss anybody's question or Miss anybody's comment CU my
comments come like one at a time really small yes yes I'm so I'm sorry like can you tell me his name Teresa I I just missed the comment but uh and if you um I will try to like fix the settings of this to like show me everything hold on can I look at this
okay the chat comes up the chat chat viewing options okay there I okay it came up I see it now okay blade Blazer how I'm great blade thank you okay so first card this is a really nice deck I won
from my friend clumsy and I won on her giveaway show and they came and they're so beautiful and it's so this card the hangman came up um and it's a possum and you know possums they are meant to hang and they can hang from their tails they will also
play dead if they're threatened or anything they'll they'll play dead and one time baby possums moved under my couch and the mom would CU I had my door open all the time for my cats I didn't have my cat door at the time and so baby pums move under to the couch and then they would come out at night and then they would eat the cat food the mom
wasn't here of course but um but so so necessarily being stuck I love the hangman card because the hangman is like always hanging upside down caught by a split or whatever but he's in peace and on most of the cards he has a a halo around his head so he's enlightened and he also sometimes it's a pick and sometimes
it's not but he has a knife and so if he can like you know like get himself up and cut down the Rope he can free himself because he's not hung by his neck he's hung by his foot and so if there's any kind of situation like just use like the P also teach you like to use gu G and wisdom like how they
play dead and stuff and you see the posum too has the halo around his head right there like they represented that with the sun behind him and so he's chill he it's like BR rabbit and the Brier patch where BR rabbit's like don't throw me in the Brier patch please don't throw me whatever you do and then they're like okay we're going to throw you in the Brier patch and they throw him in the Brier patch but BR rabbit was born in the Brier patch and so he was
not afraid of that and he so he just kind of used his wits to survive and out with any kind of negativity okay let's see live chat can I see okay I see better okay yeah yeah yeah he's upside he's upside down hanging from one leg and he has
like the other leg kind of crossed in like a l or a seven position and uh yeah but I really like the hangman because he also has time to think when he's H when he's hanging up there because he can't do very much and he just has to try to think about how to get out and so um there's there also the story of Odin who hangs upside down from a tree for like seven days and then he he
discovers all the rooms when he did that and so and then he also like gave up one of his eyes so he could get some extra wisdom too and so Odin has one eye I've studied North mythology and U you know you know German mythology Russian mythology England you know all I love
all cultures I studied every culture yes okay I'm sorry okay for
okay can you please do a reading for John okay
John do we have the devil card and it's a Jackalope and so the if you know the Jackalope the Jackalope is not a it's not a real creature it's like they would just like take a rabbit skeleton or whatever and put these like antlers on it or horns on them so this is for John and so there might be some kind of negative um pattern negative belief or
like some kind of overindulging in something something that you can get freedom from you're it's a you're voluntarily with it right now but I see like I see this crocodile and the mother crocodile is like watching all the baby crocodiles and you know how you know viciously she will protect protect all baby crocodiles and look there's a
little lotus flower too I see those little lotus flowers floating around and so she's just keeping watch um and she's protecting them cuz these are these are all Guardians by the way and then uh so it means highly protected it means highly protected by like a force bigger than yourself or or you also are Force
bigger than some other Force you're protecting because we can all protect each other down the
line and like we I got the tiger card earlier tonight but it's the Eight of Cups and so that's like a lot of long-term happiness it's like there's some Ships coming in for you there's some there's some things coming he's because the Tiger's waiting for somebody the Tiger's been through a lot too the tiger is has like you know gotten in fights in the jungle
and you know has to like you know kill kill other animals to defend itself but um like and he's also a mass he's a mass a lot of stuff and so he's sitting fine there I there's like a lot of prosperity there but there's also like a lot of emotional attachment or emotional fulfillment but it's coming
it's going to be coming in it's like the ships are coming in he's I think he's but he's just trying to protect what he has right there because there's always Predators around it okay if I got go okay so if you got a question you can ask me the question I can see a little bit better
now okay one second so this is my cat Lenor this Lenor yeah this is Lenor this is my girl this is this is my little this is my I would say my my
number one familiar this is this one is like this one she has my back you know I never be afraid of her her leaving so he's in the service okay you might go out of service well you got another eight so that that's an 88 and this one is like it's like the
Mexico flag a little bit it's like a it's like a hawk and a snake you know the H in the Mexican flag that's a it's a it's a h picking up a snake too but the eight of Wands is a lot of fast movement coming it's like a lot of something will happen really fast there's going to be communication about something you've been waiting for you're going to get news about something but it's about communication
something exciting and it's fast coming in maybe unexpected because the snake is not expecting like but I'm talking about a more positive way but just imagine that that that bird like just like coming so fast down and and getting one at once and stuff I I'll do one more
for and it's a it's a Two of Wands and so that's also these are it's like that's also the number 11 but these are also like a fierce protectors kind of energy and two people coming or two people coming together to to watch out and and help
everybody they all have their different they different things but look there's there's a bird on top of the lion's head that's how gentle the lion is is that it's the most ferocious thing in the in the jungle but like a bird can land on its head and it will just sit there it looks like and then you can see that he's like sitting down but the female lionist is
like standing up and she's like even the more vicious type you know the male lion has kind of like you know he he's a little bit like has a has his hair perfectly combed and a little bit of a peacock right there just and like no one's very scared of them even like the birds will land on his head but
always has the mother lion who's always detective and standing up the whole time and she's ready to go out and strike she'll probably she probably go out and get the food and stuff for the night M Lions will just fight with each other and stuff so I like these cards a lot this card these are like sacred geometry
activation deck so these are all really cool patterns and then there's like really nice me messages with them and they they always resonate whenever I use them so I'll do I'll do a couple a few General and then anyone wants a specific
card let me know um yeah I I actually I I have like 50 decks of cards I mean I have like a lot of stuff that I have I'm just like very slowly bringing things out just to find out what works and like to not overwhelm myself cuz the cats will knock over all the decks of cards in the morning and
then they'll all be mixed stuff and so I got to keep stay on top of that let's see what we have here for the chat it's a integration card it's also this the three yantra right there it's always it's a very powerful Sy symbol in um in
Hinduism thank you in the integration card of card 30 so number 30 might be significant or the number three and it says the frequency of integration supports art um our Embrace of many aspects of of ourselves allowing what we perceive as possible and what we
perceive as negative positive or what we perceive as negative to become in a balanced Symphony Of Life to harmonize into a balance andin of life and so this is like all things coming together there because they're complete opposites on on the sides and everything but it makes a really beautiful pattern and there's
it's called like the it's like the yra of creation and you if you meditate on it I've actually meditated on it for like a long time before and if you meditate on it different patterns will start rising out of this pattern so it's a whole creation and so it's also been compared to a yon and what number is that so that's number
30 and you see there's like a you there's the center point is called the Bindu and so you're supposed to concentrate on that Center Point and then slowly work your way out but there's a lot of triangles right there see so this is about taking all we have the highest and our lowest part of ourselves and if the highest part of ourselves is
always in control and we don't know our lower self then we're going to be in a disadvantage we need to be like half on Earth half in spirit need to be able to navigate the Earth world and our negative qualities and to face our darkest part and then we can enjoy our like highest part and become better people and everything and we become a we become not
just like a d dual being with all these um opposite qualities we become have we have one unified quality because it all comes into one and it creates a beautiful thing a beautiful pattern right there but it's it's one it's going both above going below going side to side there's stars in it it's really beautiful pattern if you look at it
that's really nice it has like the kind of the sun colors in there okay let's see what's next
so we have Gaia so Gaia that's card 28 very beautiful blue card the frequency of Gaia reminds us that we are infinitely connected to one another just as we are to our great mother and to the universe that's behind it all so that's what that's another thing I was just saying it's like on this Earth there's there's one Earth and there's all these
billions of people on but we all share the same Earth so we're all connected to it and we're all very we we're beings that are um we rely on each other we no one can survive completely on their own it's like there's always going to be some time where you could use help from another person or you could be helpful to another person and so just remember like any person that you meet is not
going to be that different than you you're going to have some kind of quality that's why it's impossible for me to hate anybody is because if I know somebody for amount of time I'll find something that I have in common with them and then it's like I feel like Brotherhood they kinship and so I'm really I I think so much like negativity
and like adversity about it but it's like really I'm and people think I'm being fake or like I'm just like Kiss You know and really I've been always been like this where it's like I've just like uh very loving happy person I been wanting everyone to get along um and not wanting bad for anybody not wishing bad on anybody only wishing the best for
people and so yeah well it's like well but constantly having to defend myself or like being questioned or like being being told you know people people will believe what they want to believe but it's like those people don't know me so people know me at any am of time they'll know I'm not a bad person or I'm not
like you know I don't have evil intentions or you know people think tarot is evil sometimes and Tarot is like the most not evil thing it's the most one of the best best ways to get in touch with your subconscious mind and to learn more about yourself and how could that be evil in any way or negative in any way you know there's some positive
negative cards sometimes but basically they're they're to help you make the best decision for your life and so the right cards always seem to come up that's why I really love Tarot it's like it always like just it resonates and it will just be your feeling that it feels
right and we have a transition card so someone's in a period of transition and there's a beautiful s right there yes you got one next the frequency of transition supports our deep understanding of the everchanging notes of existence nature of existence and of
Our Lives that we may learn to let go remember um remember it's the process and to allow transition um transition to occur with ease and Grace and so if there's any transition you'll be helped through this transition it's like a there's a path that you'll
take for it and it will it will be effortless because it's 43 too 43 like that's 43 is like I love you or love you you know and so there's also that really reminds me of like the there's like a sword going through the serpent right
there reminds me of the the dollar bill sign a little bit or a spiral like it could spiral out things go in circular patterns I am seriously impressed thank you and I'm I'm still working out the
king of my stream I'm Ser impressed as you know Teresa I have a very big project happening well yeah so yeah so there's that transition happening and it's going to go smoothly because you're you're thinking of everything ahead of time and you're supported by the universe thank you and I'm really glad it helps and or and it resonates because uh that's what
it's that's what it's about and Teresa so Teresa for you it says realization and and so you come to some kind of understanding or realization and it's number 37 um also like a very resembles an eye it's also all these um things are very connected and everything they're um they
all are patterns the sacred geometry patterns it says the frequency of realization supports our internal process of becoming aware of what our heart- centered goals truth are as well as the external process of becoming with our highest expression of the world and so yeah you're just you're
realizing things that are helping you um integrate with the world more um and get in touch with your heart space because this is there's a green there and a blue and the green is the heart chakra and so that's what that's where the real realizations will happen is in your heart it's like your mind will think of it second but really like the heart the
heart is your center of the body and like the Earth represents the heart um and the Earth is green you know too like the blue and green just like similar to that um and then we got the guia card earlier too so that didn't make a lot of sense and uh so I'll pull another one for you
Teresa Teresa so you have Miracle card and so some there's something like just said the other day I got a miracle um where it's like you know my my cat was I was never going to see him again and then all of a sudden like he was back when I when I when I asked for it so Miracles are possible there's like
there's like a there's some red in there um I think there's a lot of like fire energy associated with this the frequency of Miracles supports our belief in ourselves as part of the source and therefore our belief that anything is possible so how beautiful is that so that's like the source energy that we're all we're all part of and
then realizing that anything is possible because everything is a miracle in our lives you know when you look at it like that there's so much that we would think is impossible that if we direct our attention energy and good intentions towards it will work out so and everything will work out in
Divine timing and as it was I think as our when our when our souls incarnated to the planet I think we planned out a lot of lot of these things and so it's like our spirit is not really surprised about anything that happens on but our but our physical bodies are we don't have the especially some people don't have the connection to the to the higher self so they don't know what's going on
and so those shocking things but if you like just have trust that everything will work out in the in the best and you'll everyone will be okay and everyone will we all and we all go through a very similar process for as human beings you know a lot of very similar things happen to us okay
okay so this is called the a gotho demon and that's it's very similar to a braxus too but this is the this is um the lion headed serpent so it's almost like
chubis and I feel that too I feel like I was supposed to be dead like I feel like U it's a miracle that I'm alive you know so we are survivors defitely you I'm sure we've been through a lot and uh a lot of close you know near misses in our lives and everything but then things end
up working out for us and uh so we're protected and so this is like a this lion serpent it's like it's a symbol of wisdom you can see around it its head it's almost like the solar thing but uh so it's a lion Serpent and this is like representative of our soul and so the
ago demon is like there's a good Demon and there's a negative demon and so this is a I think a very protective demon sometimes people will say that the the lion is like representative of the ego and stuff like that but it's
really he's he's enlightened and he has the power of like different animals you know the The Serpent and the lion and so he's power powerful so he might be fiery and uh hard to control but I believe even our our good spirit and our bad spirit will fight for
us if we have a relationship with it if we don't shun our Shadow Self because a lot of people will just like uh ignore their Shadow and they just want to look at everything happy and everything and uh but the shadow is like where you can like find like shade and shelter and rest sleep and you can't necessarily see
in the dark but you can bring your own light into the dark and then you then light brings understanding and so there's always a a good balance of light and dark but uh yeah it's it's a powerful card I got that
card I got the C see C here
okay BOS okay it's a it's a headless being they're all very magical though but uh and he's holding the rod this is like the this is like sets sets Rod right there and uh headless but still holding looks like
Laurel and covered and protective symbols you know what the phus is but uh if I can find my little piece of paper Okay follows but yeah it looks like he's undergone some kind of transformation
um and yeah I think I know so much about Greek mythology then there's like all these cards I don't know so uh of course they can't find the thing right now I'm going use my phone okay I got
it no problem John anytime thank you for coming I'm I'm sorry I'm a little bit scatter bra right now but uh whenever you use use new cards and everything you you bring out the first time you're going to have like little hiccups okay
phos aalos is a Greek word that means headless and has multiple meanings in Greek Egyptian magical tradition AOS was the name of a divine power that was believed to be effective in spells for revive revation or yeah Revelation demonic figure in Greek popular belief aapos was a demonic
figure that was interpreted in ambivalent ways AOS could be views negatively as a spirit of the Dead who appeared especially evil due to Violent circumstances of his death however Christianity also viewed ailos positively as a special group of headless Martyrs who perform Miracles so do you know like the martyrs they would
they would kill these Martyrs in the worst way like the Martyr that would say that they um they believed in Jesus and Jesus was the Lord and so they would be thrown to Lions they would stage these reenactments of the of the myths where they would tie one guy up and like have like a eagle come down and eat his liver and stuff I mean they would reenact these whole things and then
there would be this huge crowd and um so they died in horrible ways and so Christianity would actually look at these Martyrs as special people and everyone else would think oh they're they're evil because they got they got killed in this worse way so in Antiquity there were rumors of various species of mythical headless men
who inhabited remote part of the world these men were known as ble blemy and were also described as lacking ahead with their facial features on their chest when I was in first grade actually I we I was doing art and I drew these bodies they were headless bodies and then like I would draw boobs and the boobs would be the eyes and stuff on the Torso and my teacher was like what is
this and I was like I thought I had dream dream about it or something but they're actually real real creatures and stuff the blems this one doesn't have as like much of a defined thing but you can kind of see he has like a little mouth and two eyes right there with the nipples thank you yeah and I I love to
learn I mean I learn as much as I teach and it's like I'm learning as I go along there's especially with astrology and Tarot there's so much to learn it is like lifetimes of of learning you can like spend the whole time lifetime sitting astrology and you still haven't learned everything about astrology or you know it's like so it's like always a
like a something that you're always learning from and like and you can always teach other people from you can use like a lot of times it really helps you just to listen to your intuition about things because your intuition will tell you the right answer even if you doubt
yourself it says or will you or will you motor your purpose or will you alter your purpose the hearts of the good and and
uh the hearts of the good and flexible that's an interesting card they have these two women like rolling these balls down the street and then there's like this one with a whip up there with holding a doll these are cuz these cards are like part
of the magical tradition of it so or will you alter your purpose the hearts of the good and flexible so the heart so you might have like a purpose laid out and you might have to you might change your mind about
something because like the person that you're concerned about actually is a good person or is willing to work with you and that kind of thing and so if you can like always work with people rather than fighting against them that will make things a lot easier for everybody people like to fight and compete all the time when really it's like we could really be helping each other a
lot yes have a wonderful night and thank you for coming and I'm like really enjoying this too this also reminds me of Gemini Gemini Spears and they're chasing these balls and then this figure above them is like maybe making them do it he has a whip
and holding a doll it's interesting can you read that bye John thank you so much for coming I'm G do one more of these because I just want to get I want I want to nail one of these cards so we have aloon and that's almond raw this so this
is another sun god thank you John thank and you see like I love these crowns these these wonderful crowns these like tall crowns they had and so there's a god named amanra and am Amon means the hidden one and so and then it's also similar to the word Moon and everything because the Moon is
like always like hiding hiding part of itself hiding part you know so he was the Sun and the Moon together and so amen raah very powerful Sun God and you see he must be smart because like you know they had these crowns he must have like his brains all the way up
to you know top of that right there just a lot of like little interesting messages you can see from the from the how the Greeks designed they designed all their High very carefully with like so much symbolism in them okay so this is a good one we have the goddess
Athena the goddess Athena she's wearing that that Roman helmet she's a spear a Athena was known as a spear Shaker she's also called the gayyed one I'll tell a story about Athena so Athena was actually the one that sent Medusa to be killed because it was Athena's Temple that Medusa was a
priestess at and then there's different variations of the story but supposedly Medusa was a beautiful Priestess and then she had sex or was forced to have sex with posidon on in the temple and then she got pregnant from that but uh so Athena was Furious and she H she like gave
this um these weapons and these and also shoes from Hermes wing wing sandals to go kill Medusa and had to do it and everything and he did and then when he killed Medusa out of her neck came um Pegasus so and so that was um her horse because Poseidon is associated with
horses as well like he horses were his invention like they had a competition where they like come up with the best invention and he came up with the horse and Athena came up with the Olive Tree and so Athena won that competition of the Olive Tree but some people think he might he should have maybe won that because horses are pretty awesome awesome creatures especially Pegasus who can can
fly and it's a white horse so Athena is a goddess of wisdom and also the goddess of crafts one more story about Athena is that there's this um woman and she was The Phoenician princess and uh she was a weaver and she can weave the most amazing things but Athena is the patronous of of weaving
Athena invented weaving and everything but so this princess named Arachne was like thinking that she was the best and she was boasting that she could do even better than Athena and so Athena dressed like an old lady one day and came up to her and and talked to her yes 444 and Athena said you know you you're being a little bit prideful maybe you
should apologize to Athena and you don't want to offend her and uh and just say that Athena's maybe more talented because she invented the crafting and weaving but arachi was so proud she was like oh no screw that old lady or screw that screw that goddess you know she just was very and so then um
Athena showed her true self as the goddess and then challenged her to a weaving contest and so in the weaving contest Athena was weave everybody very flatteringly and you know they had Zeus and his you know Zeus and with Hera sitting in the heavens and they he depicted famous parts of Greek mythology that were that were flattering and then
Arachne made this like soap opera kind of version of it the tapestry where it showed like Zeus chasing around a bunch of women and Zeus sleeping with the Swan and Zeus you know it just like a all the bad things that gods were doing and Harris being jealous her being jealous and turning women into cows and stuff like that but but arachne's work atha
did have to admit was better quality you know it's like she was she was she was a better Weaver but you still can't get away with offending the Gods like that that's called hubris where it's like the gods just want to be in that Reverb position and so for like a mortal who they really taught in the first place even if the pupil surpass them they still want the due
respect and so um Athena was like you're better but then she hit her with the the shuttle and uh she like Arachne was so humiliated so Arachne hung herself but then um Athena was like okay I'll lessen the thing I'll turn her into a into an insect and so she turned her into the
spider so that's why the spiders are called the Iraq name so she was a very wise goddess and she was a battle goddess she came out she came out of Zeus fully formed there's a lot of interesting stories about her um but and she wasn't you know offer was the most beautiful goddess and and then uh you know Hara was the wife of Zeus
and she was also very beautiful but uh they had a beauty contest once and Aphrodite had like a couple secer golden apples and she grabbed one of the judges with the golden apples um that he that she would give him whatever woman he wanted in the world as the gift if he would have chosen her and so he chose
Helen of Troy but Helen of Troy was already married was the problem and so he went and picked her up and uh it caused a big thing called the Trojan War and so Helen of Troy is called the face that launched a thousand ships he was the most beautiful woman in the world who he wanted to marry but love always love always causes that kind of like you know it can cause conflicts
like that like the war the wars start about you know love and stuff like that and Men that's all the fights in bars start about man one man talking to another man's you know girlfriend or whatever and so there's a lot of conflict that can come out of that just like um the planet Venus is a
planet of war and a planet of love it has it's a Morning Star and that's the it's a night star the Morning Star is Lucifer I love you oh yeah and so also Mars is also a planet of wordss like Mars is the Martian Planet but um but Venus is associate
it's like there's two stars to it the morning star and the evening star so whether you're born the day or the night it depends on like that will be the Venus influence on you so some people have a stronger Lucifer Venus and some people have a stronger Aphrodite Venus but you need you need both sides it's The Duality to it okay
so what do I have I'll just do a few more things and then if anyone has a question I'll answer if any wants to talk about anything else but I like this book I like Martha Stewart a lot there is nothing to do with Martha Stewart except has her logo or her her all good things she always talk about good things in life this is a treasury of images and so
let's see what we get out of this book okay so I think that's a page out the out of the boish manuscript perhaps I can't but uh it looks like a rep reptile iguana maybe salamander it's probably the salamander like a fire salamander
and they were known as like the representing the element of fire okay little emergency that's what you have cats you got to expect little
emergencies no harm no foul everything wipes up don't worry it's very watery beer anyway they probably just give the cards a little cleaning the cards were fine it was my fault you know I should I really shouldn't have had my beers right
there I should have my beer somewhere else let me just wipe the cards down and they're all fine there're just a little bit but uh yeah I uh what's see what's this one
yeah that was a little bit of a mess okay so let's see I want to talk to you guys let's see anyone anyone want want to have a discussion or anything any like question
or probably going wrap up it's like disaster disaster my life is a little bit of a disaster sometimes but I've always been able to clean it up you know I just have faith that things will work
out this two shall pass is a good quote you know if you ever have some kind of problem in your life just know that everything is temporary we're we're here on this Earth for a small amount of time and just appreciate as much as we can while we're here and to do as much good as we can because we can do a lot of good we can
be forces we can be very positive forces in the world that will literally just us one one person can change the entire world for everybody in the better please guys please please pleas everything's falling on the floor cats the cats have just like caused caused chaos but that's a good thing about cats
too Lenor I you're knocking everything down you're knocking everything down sometimes I come in the morning and the entire table all everything's just pushed off a bit they'll get everything and so yeah the ripple effect the butterfly effect and the Ripple so Ripple is like that's that's like
circles and circles and circles and and they go out and uh Butterfly Effect is like a butterfly flaps his wings it will just change like the trajectory of little piece of wind and that will change like the cause a hurricane on the other side of the world you know so every little action we do can have a lot bigger consequences we
have to be mindful just have the best intentions because sometimes they the consequences are completely unintended and we want jackass started started purring oh that's so sweet yeah she make it a cute little girlfriend for Jack us she's like she she's like kind of like one of the meaner cats than my other cats like
she'll Chas them out of this house and stuff cuz she's very protective in gels but yeah look how magical her eyes are and stuff they're just like pure her orange she's such a Halloween cat and she's this cat is sweet this cat will just literally I don't want to be weird but she'll come up and she'll kiss me on the lips and she'll like you know she'll other cats will you know do that
a little bit she like she she wants to kiss me the cat she loves me she she loves me so much and I got her and I I had another black cat named Salem and then Salem just disappeared from my house one day and I was like devastated cuz Salem was a really cute cat too a little black cat and I was devastated and uh I I was I
looked for her for weeks and I came so close to finding her and it it was all these problems and everything like where I was you know they thought I was trespassing in this Auto lot that I was trying to look in the middle of the night and people were chasing me out of there and stuff and yelling at me but I was looking for I was so desperate to get my cat back and then say I never got I never got that cat back but then my friend uh introduced me to this cat lady
and so Lenor that's Lenor right there Lenor after a gr po book and Lenor was wanding around her parking lot and she put out some food in a little little trap and then she came back out like a couple hours later and Lenor was in the Trap and she was just a little kitten and when she brought her over like there pictures of me and like we're just hugging like we're so we're just like and she's just like been the most loyal
loyal cat and everything she's stayed here through a lot of cats but she's the she's the boss she's the boss around here you know she's my little that the cat that uh this is referring to it's not not KN enough FL but yeah when it says like be Beware of the cat that's this cat right here this this is my little this is my
little you know my little guard cat my little you know my cats also the anything that has to do with like the cards or anything I have they always want to be around that stuff they have such attraction to it and just like jackass with your cards like how jackass just gravitates towards them and it's
like natural with them yeah thank you so much I I we have the best cats like we seriously dud jackass is so so uh so sweet he looks just like my other cat Romeo and I I'll send I'll put a picture up of Romeo because uh Romeo was the only blonde cat out of that litter but he had like striping like kind of similar to jackass
and he was such a cute cat and then when my other cat got pregnant and gave birth Jack wants to be the yes well jackass can certainly come courting like I'm sure like Lenor would love that you know cuz uh she doesn't kind of care for my other male cats and stuff
but jackass is a really cute cat um I'm sure she would be attracted CU she has some good taste yeah I have one cat that's not fixed right now too and that C is like I'm I'm worried she'll get pregnant CU and the only people she get pregnant from is one of the brothers and so I have to be really careful right now um
that there's a lady that does free free spay clinics um like once a month and so I just have to schedule it right and then I can get her her fix and then I don't have to worry anymore because it's de it was it's devastating to have to I I had 12 cats at one point now I was fine with that like I had 12 cats and uh
they don't like being that many catss together in one house like and all this naturally like start to run away that's why Romeo ran away he ran away right before the other litter came they just instinctively knew and so I just think that the neighbor got him we have really people that love cats around here and he'll probably live he'll live the best life and a happy
life here I just wish he would come say hi but then again you have to like you know let the cat let the cats do what they want to do so I have a cat door they can come as go as they please they they're they're here cuz they love me and I love all my cats but I understand like it you know when they
when they fight with each other and and they don't some cats like to be like single people I think a lot of cats like to be single cats they don't like to be in a group of other cats and stuff especially some of mine they like to be they like to be pampered and everything and so when they see me with another cat they get jealous and it's like only have too many hands and
so yeah yeah and they they are like uh they can be pack animals too but uh like really they they they do get more jealous I think than dogs and stuff like that like uh dogs just get really sad they'll feel sad and don't feel sad and everything but uh cats will get
jealous you know cats will get they they'll see it and they'll look in the corner of her eye and then then they'll all of a sudden start fighting with that cat and stuff like that dogs will just like love everybody like know the whole time and uh so they all have their really individual special
points I would love I'd love a dog it's just they would not do well with the cats and so I'm just cleaning up here so there wasn't it wasn't as big a disaster as I thought um that's fine you know it's like the
uh it's it's not about the cards necessarily it's about how you how you read them how you how you interpret them and so you just got to expect like little things will happen like that when you have animals and so I don't ever get mad about that kind of stuff the crisis was averted
so uh let's see I probably been on for a little bit of a Time keep reading okay I've been on for a little over an hour but I will be happy to keep reading so I have this deck it's called The Oracle of black enchantment and so if you know the Deviant Moon Tarot
deck I miss you too I miss you so much and I I love going on and talking to you guys and everything and so even if I wasn't like the best frame of mind tonight cuz you know I'm a it's a little bit late and I've been drinking a little bit but uh I thought I'd go on and say hi to you
and spend some time so this has a really cute little devil on the back thank you so that's an interesting devil card has a kind of like a brais with the the bra has a chicken leg chicken head but this one has chicken feet and he has the crown and he's he
has breast he a very bathat type creature so this is by this is by the guy that does the Deviant Moon deck and so if you ever see the Deviant Moon deck this is one of his oracles and there's a whole book to it um that online but I'll see like if we can interpret any of these as as they come
do I okay yeah so we're gonna have to do our best just to be interpreting ourselves and so that's cute little card it's like a little devil he's he's fallen asleep he's had a long night but look
and he's he's winged and he has a sword and there's like a is that like an ink or there's a cup so he has the cup the Pentacles the swords so he's yeah he's so he has this reminds me of like a magician type card um where he has all these tools and then but maybe he's just like
worked himself worked himself out too much and so he needs some rest and then he'll be refreshed and then he'll be able to look at his tools again in another way yeah this is a really cute deck this is it was a I got on Etsy it was like a little special on Etsy these cards are fine okay let's see call a couple more of these
cards okay so look so this woman is buying dolls and it might be she's just buying these cute little dolls for good purposes but look look at the hand of the arm it's kind of like kind of like a it's not I'm not saying it's necessarily evil but it's like you know it's it's a hairy this hairy arm like a beast arm
handing out these little voodoo doll kind of things and she looks very she looks like a wealthy woman and so there's a there's some kind of practitioner right there and so no matter um it's about the intention and so he could be like you know he could be like he can have bad intentions with the adults and she has good intentions and she wants to play with them and play you
know make a little cute little family with them and have the happiest thing for them but you also have to know there's people that will try to manipulate and so always make sure you protect yourself and like and understand like that that that kind of stuff really can't hurt you if you have faith that you you're protected in that
but and then we have another thing we have these we have a cauldron and who's in the who's in The Cauldron can you see that they're cooking something there the black cat right there the number three is all always associated with like a lot of like a lot
of um like there's three witches in MC Beth and there's three witches and instead like the Hocus Focus those three witches so there's you know there's the number three is a Divine number and everything and that's the power of three like the show charms and everything but definitely indicating that and then the Black Cat and everything it's definitely indicating that they're into like some
kind of magic practitioners and you can see the sun is like shedding drops too so that that's that sunlight is also like a power it's like the fire is like a representation of the sun too and it's it's able to cook things so I don't know if they're making dinner but they you look like they're very con look what is
that she has like a a like a dress making torso or something like that so I hope it's not a a real torso but and then she has like she has a a snake wapor on her arm yeah so I I don't know what these I don't know what they're up to it's it yes and see the shedding light the
shedding light too that's also very similar to Egypt where they had like that the the Rays of the sun would come down and they would like the Pharaoh and his family would go collect the Rays of the Sun and everything and so no was called an energy called the Aon the sun was an energy called the Aon so we have these drops coming off of it I'll show you a couple more of these cards because they're
interesting I like this card a lot so she's flying through the air and then look she has these little little cherub in these little these little head head of the cheram coming and carrying her I don't know she was at a gathering
but the cherubs are associated with like with like glove and stuff like that and so maybe there's a a good purpose that that is being orchestrated that she's going to these places but I don't know she also looks kind of like she's diving into something she doesn't know where she's diving she's like where are they taking me I hope they land me safely and stuff what are these these little cute little
beings doesn't know quite where they'll take her but hopefully it'll take her to that Watchtower right there yeah these are yeah and especially um these cherubim type type Angels they're associated with with the fire element like there's the Garden of Eden that the cherubim um gave the sword they gave a
sword to the cherubim the the Flaming sword and stuff and so but they're also associated with air because they have wings and they're flying and stuff like that and then one's on her head and so one that's almost like attached to her head like a second brain like a higher self kind of thing and that that one has her foot so they're just they have her whole body like balanced out perfectly
so they can fly and take her somewhere she doesn't know where she doesn't know if she's going to land safe but they're going to watch out for her yeah you can always trust like you can always trust Angels sometimes with the other ele Elemental beings they're they're not honest sometimes a lot of them don't like
humans especially demons don't like humans very much traditionally and they always try to mislead them or put them into like a a deal or give them wrong information or create conflict or have the human owe them something if they help them and then they don't even help them very much or they help them in an unexpected way like the genie and Aladdin and stuff
so something to consider especially there's these xinn Spirits which are fire spirits in the they're known in the Middle East and they're known for not really like they they don't like humans very much because at the beginning of time God said for all the creatures to worship Adam and then the Jin Spirits were like Adam was
created after us and we're created before Adam and so we're not going to bow down to Adam and so God kind of punished them and he sent the the thein king like you know I Bliss it was a very similar story of Lucifer where he just set him off to create his own thing and everything but
um the sh are very notorious nowadays too I mean they're still they're still very believed in and they don't even they'll not even mention them in some some countries they're could they're they're very powerful spirits but and like here's another um this guy on a cliff and there like a castle on
fire it's card 19 and there's like a bird coming down bird or a dragon and he has a little black cat next to him too but I think it looks like I don't think he started the fire unless he sent this one over to like set everything on fire I think he might be rescuing this
one from the blaze i' like to think of the positive uh interpretations too yeah maybe he maybe he said the castle on fire you know so you also want to be careful about um just like I that's why I also try to be like uh respectful to
everybody at all times because there's some practitioners that if you get mad they'll go right to the Revenge stuff and the the malice and there's nothing you can do about it because it's like that that's they're being led by their negative emotions in that way and so can you can always try to like steer
people in the right direction and everything because really destruction is not because what does he get out of this destruction like that that all the people here are are screwed you know and then but he's happy that that they don't have a a castle it's like so there's definitely an evil and he looks like a skull
being little alien little skull and he's poting at the that bird so these are maybe not what the author intended but I like to just examine them and just think about different things because there's a reason it came up and maybe has a good message for
us and look here's look at it's it's the angry angry towns people they've heard something they're going to go try to kill somebody but look who's in the very back whispering in all the ears in inciting everybody you know so that's
like one of the things about like witchcraft or witchcraft can be it can be the words it can be gossip it can be slander it's like trying to affect things through communication and interpretations of things and so that's why the music is very powerful um the media is very powerful in things because then you can get all
these people upset but the person causing all the trouble is like what is he doing hold on looks like he's he's pickpocketing him I'm not sure or he he's holding a it looks like he has his hand in his pocket and he's taking out his watch and stuff so now everyone's distracted and
so there was a good movie I saw it's a Russian movie called The Thief and this uh this guy like um they meet this Soldier a woman in her her child beats a soldier and they go stay at some boarding house and keeps putting off paying the rent and then one day he um he buys tickets to like this opera or
some show that's nearby in town for everyone in the house and so everyone goes to the show and while everyone goes to the show then he goes in the house and he steals everything and like runs off and so always beware is like if if someone's trying to like get you all up in your head about something is like is there something they're trying to distract you from there's something that they're trying to redirect you that they don't
want you to be looking at and so they're they can play with your emotions and then get you to go in some other direction always think about that that's why I try not to get too upset about the things people say or like comments because it's like some of the comments tonight and some of the chats were like very jarring like some like there
was a in the meme War the guy said he posted something it says like bring back the crucifixion and stuff like that and because the because the detestable people need to be killed and stuff like that so it's just like a mean there's like a mean-spirited kind of thing about it and then I was like you know so and then I I I just take things personally because
even if it's not directed towards me it's like I'm seeing it and then but sometimes I feel that things are directed towards me it's just like U I can be a magnet sometimes for for like certain people also I noticed a lot of people will um a lot of people will project their Shadow onto me like
they'll like Shadow work is about like recognizing we all have a shadow we all have a dark shadow we all have like the a light side of ourself a dark side of ourself and then we can work on it integrate it but then some people just think that other people have all the shadows and they're perfect and then other people need to be shamed or ridiculed or just something bad happened
and so I always like try to like not project my shadow on other people and then recognize that their Shadow is probably being project on me because I I'm also very receptive I'm also a lightning rod of controversy because I'm you know I'm uh I'm gay I'm like I do tarot I like
U um have interesting religious beliefs and I have an interesting sense of humor but uh but I'm I'm a I don't consider myself you know a perfect person but I'm I'm like I'm a good person and I have negative qualities too and I think same
for everybody but I'm I'm aware of them and that's G gives me some kind of advantage of working on myself I love you too and thank you for like encouraging me to go on T I probably wouldn't have come on tonight I uh and look I might even drink a beer right now look what I have it's
called the culture pop watermelon soda it's not bad it's from Whole Foods wipe up a little bit so um what am I gonna be doing well so she I got some good advice tonight uh from Emma who's like basically said to go to retreat and to heal and work for myself
and I agree with that but I I am retreating right now you basically I am on a retreat I've been alone a lot of the time and that's why I get bored sometimes s and I need to you know have some people I know you know come over and hang out and party and uh so I did and it was Halloween and so was a special occasion so I'm not I
don't apologize for that and I had a lot of fun I had a lot of fun and you know it was a one night thing so I had my fun for the night now I can you know take a breath and relax a little bit and then after also after that I was able to really clean my house
which I really needed to clean it and so it uh it brought me some kind of like energy and relaxation and now I'm ready to like pick myself up a little bit more it's it's been a it's been a really terrible year for me and
so I'm just like uh you know I and plus I was really sad about my cat too but uh I'm in a much happier place now um I had a happy Halloween and so I had a fun night and so even if everything back fired in my face and like hey I got I have I have all my cats
everyone's happy healthy I have I have food in my refrigerator I have uh people in my chat I have good friends to talk to and so I'm very blessed like extremely blessed and uh I I don't have anything to complain about like basically thank you and so do you so do
you like I I know we are super empath we are like yeah you have you have you have the very heart centered thing going on like very caring you know people gravitate towards you all every all my friends like loved you instantly you know and now they're your friends you know and so I really like being able to
like bring people together and that kind of thing and then having a part of that and then everyone else can or you can they can start you know doing things together with them and then that can continue and US need more people so it Al I think our channels are going to be taking off like I think like we have a good support
system just like and I have people that I know I can trust it's like just the there's certain people that I have to I question sometimes and uh or I I wonder what they said and it's not necessarily I can't really ask them about it at that time like what do it what does it mean or if I do ask I I get like an answer that is like not
satisfying I've dealt with all this before I'm I'm I'm an expert in psychological warfare um with of like the meanings of of certain words of like certain terms of the 48 Laws of Power of gas I've been through I've I I met I met this Russian girl a beautiful Russian woman she taught me almost everything I know about that but she taught me in the
wrong way by by using it on me and I had to figure out my way out of it and so it's the whole thing it's been a it's been a journey I'm lucky I'm I've maintained my mind I've gotten stronger from it but it's just not it's not the most Pleasant thing to go through it's like especially so I'll tell you something that someone said the other day and that I don't know if they were referring to
me but they said oh the best way to drive a person crazy is to find somebody that re um really they want most of all they want friendship or they you know they want love and then to basically to fake it and then to like do reveal all at once that it's all and that will destroy the person's that psych you and it was like and I don't
think that person would do that kind of thing I think he's against that kind of thing but that's a mindset that a lot of people have and and they would you know people it's foreign to me that people would want to hurt other people like that because I I I would not h a fly but uh there's people that literally would they want to destroy other people for really no good
reason lot most of the time it's jealousy it's like a it's like the evil eye the evil eye all comes from jealousy um that's where it stems from or Envy that's where the the evil eye comes like comes from that basically it's like someone stares because they're jealous and and they think bad about you and stuff like that so I think everyone has something you can be jealous of you know everyone has
their their burdens and their you know their benefits and I'm not mad at anybody for anything I want people to do better that's all I want and uh and I want people to be well and I understand I'm like going to be like the very unconditional loving person like uh all the time and
like I'll be the sucker I'll be the I I don't care it's like because that's that's me it's like not not not the sucker NE necessarily because I've learned so much that I'm not really a sucker but yeah I'll like I'll fall in love way too easily with the wrong people over and over and over again I'll never learn the lesson I'll give them a million chances I'll always forgive them I'll I
think it's my Capricorn part the Capricorn side of me is like so loyal that it's like once I love you I love you for life and it's like really I won't stop loving you even if you you heard me I'll still love you but now I'm to the point where I just like try to take myself out of the situations that are like not loving and like just focus more on because then I have more time to focus
focus on people that do love me and stuff because people will reveal themselves you know um like eventually like I was friends with a Russian girl for like five years and before she started getting weird and then for like the last seven or eight years it's been like the love
bombing the IDE idealizing devaluing discarding then ghosting and then coming back a month or so with love bombing again and that over and over and over and over again and so then you get used to the cycle and so it's like it's hard to fight against because you're so habituated to it and
so now well now she's in prison and so a lot of these people are in prison it's given me a chance to step back and work on myself yeah and you know and and she had um she has good qualities too but yeah like she was basically had all these Third Party friendships and everything that and then she would make fun of me
to them and stuff like that but then it was like the Mean Girls kind of thing where it's like they would like come in super nice and their friend and then they pull the carpet out from you or they take the trust and betray it or then they they'll just do something that is off they'll like come in and they'll start whispering about you and like in front of you or saying the weirdest
weirdest comments and so I've uh I've dealt with some a lot of mind and so so but the good thing about that is now I can help people that have experienced that and uh maybe help them not make the same mistakes I did because I've made a lot of mistakes I cringe at myself I still make mistakes I'm
like you know but I don't hurt anybody and I don't do anything intentionally to to harm or hurt anybody's feelings or I'm very concerned about wanting people to feel loved CU not a lot of people I think the biggest problem is people don't feel loved and then they take it out on other people and they take it out on society or and then they're they don't they're not
loving people because they never had the love and so if they if they never had that Foundation how can you expect them to be able to give it to other people so I'm just very forgiving about that the Russian girl I love the Russian girl I wish wish the best she's going to be going to fire camp or she's in Fire camp right now so she'll be a firefighter and she's a minimum security and stuff but I know if she ever gets when she gets out it'll be the same
exact pattern she's not gonna change her whole person personality because every time she's she's been out of jail before and it's like it's always the same thing it's like always like the same pattern start again and uh I'm really ready to end these patterns and it's like if I do have like the scary thing about the internet everyone's connected I hope you don't mind I think Teresa I think you're
just here it's just doing me right now but uh yeah these uh these patterns will happen over and over again and if and then if now everyone can collaborate and and talk like for example like you know I showed that the girl that came over um the other week I showed her Emma and like said this this is I'm mod for
Emma I think Emma's awesome but she can just as easily go find Emma's Discord or find Emma's whatever and like say anything she wants about me or talk to anybody there or there's a it's a communication thing but it's like it's like the game of telephone where it's like one person hears one thing one person hears another thing it gets exaggerated it gets turned into like
this thing where and it's like where and especially like when people like to feel better about themselves by putting other people down that's like a big thing with narcissist and I dealt with a lot of narcissists and uh they love to push people down so they look better because they want to be the the highest and everything I don't care about being the best it's like I care about just being
myself and uh I want I want the best for everybody I want the best for everybody like really there I canot I cannot say there's like one person in the world I I I hate I mean there's horrible people and people have done horrible things but when it comes down to it they've done horrible things horrible things probably been done to them it's like there's cycles that people go through there and these Cycles are not
just like by one lifetime they're generational Cycles so they could be hundreds of years old it's it's happened in certain families and they just have these patterns they repeat and so I'm really trying to be like a generational cycle breaker myself too and if there's any like negativity or curses you know around my family I want to take all that I want to be like the lightning rug and
protect everybody and I have a big family too I'm I have a big beautiful family and uh so when people start when people mess with with them it get me that will bring out the the devil in me when people like will say things about my family and stuff so or even my you know my my cats
my family my friends it's like now I'm getting this like big like very protective urge because you know I don't know you never know why people on the internet are like they like are acting like they are like the trolls or whatever but it's like some of these people have have have very
said very personal things about me like uh that I I'll said to other people in conversations but it's like how would they have known this like the certain personal information unless there's some kind of of like because people always like oh I'm psychic they'll say they're psychic about certain things and it's like okay
well the information we not coming out that exact about like you know names and C C like there'll be just things that they they'll know and that will just bother me and it's like so I I think I saw a card I saw image today it said the triggers are the are the way the triggers are the guide like look at the triggers watch what's triggering you and now I I'll teach you how to get get
pass your triggers so I'm going to be really working on that see like what upsets me why it upset me where it's really coming from because uh I really do I'll Take Everything very personally um even if it's not directed at me I I'll feels directed at me because it's it will be something not explained perfectly it's
kind of out of context of the conversation that almost you would think that they would think it would apply to me so I don't know if that's what's going on with with uh with Emma but I I love Emma so much and uh I've been with her for like six months probably I was with her when she had 3,000 members and she just got kicked off of Tik
Tok and I I like instantly loved her and I like you know instantly wanted to you know she modded me really quickly we did like I would do I used to barter readings with her because she wasn't doing her paid readings yet and I would barter a card with her and everything we would just have fun and
laugh and uh now it's like now like I love her I love she has a great number of people but it's like there just seemed like there are a lot of people that I didn't know tonight I've never seen before they came in they all acting like they know me all acted like they know her I've never seen them before I'm there a lot and it's like and
then it just got a little personal and I've had other I've had stage I've had stag readings I've had I had a lady stage a whole reading before all base her on me every she had the cards all picked out already to say she had whatever she had like people were call you know calling her on the phone outside of her show and telling her what to say and stuff like that and like being really obvious about it and
so when that kind of stuff happens I'll leave the show then it's like I won't I won't leave Emma like it's like I even if like and if she did say something to me tonight that was like under the radars something like that it's like I forgive her she's she's being told things and who knows what
people are saying either they'll never say what they're saying it will always be like some kind of like they're trying to get you to admit to something that you didn't do like kind of thing they'll just like fish trying to get you to feel guilty about something and then you'll say I apologize for this and this um when it's like wasn't even like that they're trying to get you to um self
incriminate yourself or something like that but I didn't do anything so my my heart is light as a feather like really I uh I don't feel guilt if I if I felt guilty I would just be like under a rock or something like that but I'm willing to fight for myself and like because I know I'm not doing anything wrong it's like if they would tell me
specifically what they think I'm doing wrong or why I deserve to be told like they'll say horrible things about like oh you know like U talk about Rob like robbing you you're B like you'll be homeless you'll be like and all this kind of stuff you'll have no money and like and uh I don't even
care about that all all I need is a deck of tarot cards a backpack and a I I have the beach right here and I I could live on the beach if I needed to you know I'm I could be happy living on a beach I can be happy you know living in a mansion
I better I I would have a lot of fun doing tarot like that though on the I I I would be able to support myself like that like I have a whole skill where I could be talking to people and like not you know sad and like not talking to anybody I could be I could still thrive in the world you know but that I'm just I'm
I'm I'm blessed to have what I have and I I would uh I would like to to have everyone be happy in my family I don't want my family to worry about me like I kind of like I will isolate myself away from my family not because I have any problems with anybody but because I don't want to bring
my Firestorm of of issues to anybody anybody I don't want to cause any problems for anybody else everyone has their own families everyone has all their kids their own kids everyone's has their own jobs I'm kind of this chaotic Force
your heart your heart is black he said your heart is black where's your heart and I protective of your heart so my heart is my heart my heart has a bunch of has at least three swords in it and then there's like 10 swords on my back and I pulled all the swords out
of my back then those are healing um the swords in the heart are like they don't heal as easily um and then it's like but you know I keep I keep going back trusting again my heart my heart keeps getting stabbed in the stabbed three times and then it it
keeps I heal it my heart is Evergreen you know it's like it's a it my heart is like the most genuine part of me it's like that it doesn't lie and uh I could blackening your blackening your heart it's it's good too it can be good too but it's because that doesn't mean
it's it's like it's the evil heart or anything it means it's protected by like it's it's shielded and it's insulated it's insulated from these attacks and it's like and but uh I I try to forgive and then move on and like I just uh will not deal with those people anymore and so then I won't have
my feelings hurt like tonight once I started if I got weird feelings I would just like not talk in the chat you see by the way there there was uh um Nicholas Cage was in the chat so that made things kind of entertaining a little bit a little comic
relief and the heart is the heart the heart is very the heart is like it's fragile you know the heart is fragile and it's like it's the easiest part to to break of anybody you know it's like that that that's and that's and it hurts just as bad is breaking a bone or breaking anything else it's like when my heart hurts I just I take
that as a guide to like protect it protect myself more be wiser I really want to be like a a smarter person in how I deal with some things because I'm I'm just like I'll be so loving so accepting so opening I'll be and I'll be sometimes I
am delusional of cuz I'm I live in a lot of fantasy because the whole Venus in the 12th house thing comes with a lot of fantasy and dreams and that kind of thing and so I live very much in that world uh and so I will have like a a different view of the world in other people I'll have the
rose colored glasses on and I'll see and so I won't see things I won't see like the negative qualities in people or I'll I'll filter them out I'll block them out thank you that's you thank you and I and that's what that's what I love
myself the most and so when you pulled the cards the other night first you pulled the Archangel Uriel card and then he's called the love and light of God and then you pulled the goddess or the angel of Love card and then she has roses in her hair like an Aphrodite has roses in her hair
and uh and that just made so much sense and so I I went and reexamined like the 12lt house and what it means the 12l house is a very it's a very serious house like it's and it's usually very dark and so you it's like you're blind in there so I can't see my Venus in there and I can't see my Neptune in there I can't I can get to them I can navigate through it
but it's not not apparent it's like it's the darker side it's like so when the sun is over it then you then you can see you can see more into it but it's the dark darkest side of the wheel and so has a lot to do with like darker sides of ourselves and like it has hidden enemies but also but but the Sagittarius
and so Sagittarius has a bow and Cupid has a bow and then Neptune is a Pisces influence and so there's like fire and water there um and so there's creativity and dreaming and like but there's also like Obsession or falling in love with the wrong people it's like I do it's like I I don't I don't know why I'm
attracted to the people I'm attracted to it's like it's a curse it really is because if I would just like like some normal person like some normal normal nice nerdy white guy I I would love to be able to do that but I just like I'm not attracted to that I like you know I'm not even saying I'm trying to say not felons or gangsters but I'm attracted to them but I I want
like a reformed gangster I want like somebody that's been through that and like they've changed their their life and I would love to meet someone like that that that wants to get their life together and start business and stuff I would love to find that I would love to help make somebody better and
like find the perfect person but I'm really resigned now it's been 43 years and it's like i' I've had one serious of relationship with a woman I uh I dated mostly when I was in like high school you know and
so yeah and with the thing is yes but that's why if you have any of the wrong people in there they can have so much damaging effect on that because if I open my heart to people I'll open it to them and so then they can just easily take advantage of that or easily take me for granted or try to you know that kind of stuff and so it really is it's like I
think we can count the real number of friends we have on like one hand like if we're that's most people if they're lucky can count five like real true friends and so I feel like I have I have have the two friends and so but some people have questions about um cuz they'll just
like they'll say weird things um I don't know I'm sure I love blade I talk to Blade all the time um and stuff and he's always really cool so he has a screen named death and then the guy tonight had a screen named black death oh my cats are fighting outside and the guy was talking about I don't know if that certain
things I mentioned to Blade but there are certain stuff I had me I think I I mentioned I don't know if they're the same person whatever um but look how easy it is I mean everyone thought I was Nicholas Cage for like two hours tonight you know and and so that's how easy it is to hide behind a Persona and everything it's like very easy but I just I Did It For Fun purposes I did it for comic relief there other people use
it for negative purposes this is like magic well there's magic you can use for positive healing magic protection magic love magic not manipulative love mag magic but sending love into the world like sending imagining like ripples of love and everyone being happy and like receiving the love and everything that's that's part of
magic I know that was really weird because I because you you were there and then but Teresa honestly and there are some mods are really weird there are there have been mods that she's kicked out before they would block almost everyone in the chat like they would block people that bought readings just after they bought the reading like and she was like trying to
she was very confused and it's like I don't know why they do that it's like um and it's it'll be the weirdest things and so like also like that guy tried it like one time when I he moded me one night and uh he he also modded AC and AC is Emma Emma mod but that night AC AC blocked every single person in the room
she would have blocked me if I wasn't the mod already I oh definitely I'm G to write her I'm going to write her a letter or I'll write her message tonight and definitely like yeah definitely say you you loved your reading and it really resonated and thank her anything else you want me to tell her I'll be happy to to share the
the message and she really she really enjoyed her reading from you
and yeah yeah so and so you know AC's a really good mod like when AC became a mod I I told Emma I was like just watch I like watch her because she was in trid Dan chat and she blocked like 20 people in the chat it was just seriously me and trient talking like everybody else was blocked in the chat and and then uh but then she she's done a really good job um
and most of the most of the mods are there really good but there's also been a few mods that she's had to let go um or that just started having breakdowns and stuff like getting mad block they're blocking everyone in chat yelling at people in chat and stuff I mean I've Had My Moments too like that you know her chat her chat can
get U intense and interesting sometimes it was just like tonight it was like a different vibe it was like it was like the kind of conspiratorial vibe a little bit I don't know if you picked that up at all
but and know I'm of course I've been through like you know my own paranoia and stuff like that but I mean but it's like if I did something wrong you know confirm me about it if I did something illegal arrest me you know I don't it's just like this constant insinuation about
everything or where it's like insinuating really horrible things too like um and then okay tell me like what this this it's been it's been happening for years and years and years with like this kind of thing it's like so I've learned this like pattern of it I know well you know I do get I I drink
sometimes too much I say I've said stupid things I've like I've woken up the next day and saw like I said stupid things too I mean not not too horrible but I've definitely like you know cringe cringe the next day like why did I say you know I've said ridiculous things but nothing really even that bad I'm sure if
you it's like really um not anything of GRA gravity so but like I said like I'm a I'm a lightning rod
sometimes thank you and well you know because I I was trying to like just drink a little vodka and mix with like juice for a few nights and one of the bottles last for all these days but then it gets I have put I put so much juice in it that you hardly taste the Vodka so can you drink so much of it and then before I know it I drink the whole bottle then I'm yelling at my window at my neighbors to invite me to the
Halloween party and they they're saying no and then I have you know then I'm embarrassed and uh but you know luckily I don't get too embarrassed because I've been about as embarrassed in this life as you can get like I've had you know so but not not not ashamed and just embarrassed and just you know I've just
cringed at some of my past Behavior but then there's like a recognition of like um there's something I need to fix there myself and so with all those guys I was hitting on I I figured out like you know some guys just don't want to be hit on especially by another guy and so especially like on their show you know and there's other people there might be embarrassing for them and it's like I'm just like I'm
trying to be funny half the time like I'm not trying to really Ser being serious about it or but yeah sometimes I just go overboard I don't know I I'm trying to reain especially now that I have a channel and stuff I want to be more professional and stuff and I I want to give like the best readings
and stuff for people and be in the best head
space yeah that's the only way and you know Teresa I'm opening up so much it's like I I wasn't like last year around this time I wasn't talking to anybody on chat like I I had never chatted on on YouTube in my life it took like a few months after um I had like nobody here then I
would like start commenting a little bit in chats and then participating and then like then I like started meeting people I met Benny and then Benny like would promote my show promote my channel like when I had no nobody there and he made me a mod too and then I met so many cool people from there and then I see the see
I met I I find shows like Aiden and I I meet you and Aiden and you were so nice when I met you in Aiden's chat that first night you were like instantly like um asking for my channel and asking for me to pull car for somebody and yeah it's like YouTube's a great little family it's like it's like it's like such a good way to talk to people
communicate with people and like have your own design your own show and like and I know D that was see last year I uh everyone went to jail around like October 10th or 11th or something like that or you know around like early October and so then I was like I had
nobody for like and then a couple months and then probably around January or something I started to to to CH and now now it's like I'm social you know it's like I have a whole different personality where it's like it's you know that's why I try to keep the it's kind keep the alter ego under under control you know because it's like
it's fun to it's fun to create like a character that makes people laugh and like some people you know it's fun and also that's not completely yourself so you can like kind of like do different things and like bring parts of your personality come out that that haven't been out before so I'm coming out of my shell definitely I just like I'm coming out my shell and then it's like I I want to go
back in sometimes and uh I get burned once in a while still but I'm pretty much after seeing how other people handle their chats and the things other people say to people they say things just as bad to them as they say to me so um definitely I try not take things
too personally and uh get a stronger skin or try to get a stronger skin and just be myself and not let not let them change me for the worse or anything thank you yeah well you know about you know cancers have a shell right so cancers love their their um their like homes and stuff like that and
they love like you know being safe and protected and uh my mom's a cancer too she loves she loves being in her house and they're also ruled by the moon and the moon almost has a the moon kind of looks like almost like a shish kind of thing too but uh yeah so I I I have a little bit of
cancer cancer um sign through my mom it's it's like where I I like to be home a lot I'm a home body I don't really like to I don't have a car there we go thank you thank you for being like
thank you for being so supportive and here it's like really I would not have come on tonight if it wasn't for you I would like probably just like have been like just quiet I probably would have just gone away for a while like like because uh it'll always feel it's hard to be understood when you're on
the on over like a text chat or on a computer and stuff and so so yeah so it's just like the most frustrating thing is when people think they know me so but and they don't and you do you definitely know me so thank you and I I had so much fun and I'm sorry it wasn't like a perfect
reading tonight like I don't know I'm trying new things I'm getting my format kind of down I got to keep my cards more organized I gotta protect my beers from the cats getting on it okay yeah and I just thank you guys for just letting me chat and talk it was
more of like a I I was able to to get things off my chest and a little bit and it was really nice talking you guys and just thank you for all your support and I love you and uh I'm having the best time on this channel and uh it's only it's only getting better I it's always just it's
improving more and more and I'm I'm getting the picture more and more so thank you for being here everyone I hope you have a wonderful night and I will talk to you later I hope you guys come back to my chat and I'll see you on the Discord um Teresa if you're if you're still up for but uh but I love you guys we are and you are too Teresa we're
going to do it together okay I love you have a great night guys I'll see you soon
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