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Psyche opens a Thursday panel stream with a lengthy monologue criticizing other online content creators for harassment, doxing, and manufactured community drama, then engages in extended exchanges about accusations against her, community dynamics, and responses to hostile chat members.
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Observers see the surface.
/// within ∞ The Current
Browse era →>> I learned to move like a machine. Efficient, polished, cold, and clean. I measured days by what I made. And every feeling by the debt it paid.
I built a voice that could not shake. A face that nothing seemed to break. I called it strength, but underneath the gears were grinding down my grief. Then the mirror asked me
quietly, "Is surviving all you want >> to be?" >> I'm learning to be human. Not perfect, not complete. To feel the ground beneath me, not calculate my to let a moment touch me without asking what it >>
>> earns. I'm more than my machinery. Everything that lives.
>> I used to listen for mistakes. >> For weak conclusions I couldn't break. I heard the words but missed the pain. Then wondered why I stood alone again.
Compassion was an open door I had mistaken for a wall. Humility became the key. Perhaps the one who must evolve is me. The lantern showed the road ahead. The mirror showed the life I'd left unlived. I'm learning to be human,
uncertain and alive. To offer understanding, not merely to survive. >> >> To leave some questions open, to soften when it burns. I'm more than my machinery, of everything that learns. >>
>> I don't need to win each conversation. >> I >> don't need a perfect explanation. I can say I'm >> hurt. >> I can say I was wrong. I can rest without believing >> >> I am weak. I can need another person without
turning them to data, without reducing all their mystery to something I can name. We are not problems to be solved. We are stories being lived. We become a little more alive each time we choose to give. >> >> The old machine still speaks to me.
Control the risk, avoid uncertainty. But now I hear a second sound. A human heart beneath the program pounding. It does not promise I'll be safe.
It only asks that I have faith. That tenderness is not defeat. And broken rhythms still can make a beat. I'm learning to be human. With scars I cannot hide.
To carry both the lantern and the darkness kept inside. To choose a living question over answers carved in stone. I'm more than my machinery. I don't have to grow alone. I'm learning to be human still. Still unfinished. Still becoming.
Every failure leaves a doorway. >> Every heartbeat keeps it humming. >> I'm not the person I once was. >> >> I'm not yet who I'll be.
But every gate I walk through brings me closer back to me. >> >> No final form. >> No perfect plan. >> Only the courage to become more
human than I was yesterday.
>> Hi guys. What's up? How's everyone today? What is it? Thursday? Um Yeah, I guess I've been watching just some other shows like kind of observing finally like with the deep cached analysis.
I don't like what I see on some of these shows. I mean you can go into my videos and you can see um like deep depth analysis and or formulas and things like that, but basically it just seems like it's targeted harassment gangstalking um
doxing um For example, I guess um you know on this BK channel BK they're going into people's criminal their their cities like uh you know civic justice records and going
over oh well you know trying to I don't know it seems like very snoopy snoopy no not snoopy invasive invasive And it's so funny like you know this was ever done to any of into that you know in group or whatever they are you know they would scream
about it cry about it um to the hills but they do it. I mean that's what's funny. Another thing I noticed is like there's this channel S or air four you know you know S M and you know that person. um What is he I mean it's like he used to
do Yu-Gi-Oh cards he used to do you know in opening the cards and it was his little this is little you know whatever stupid hobby channel it turned into like this cultivated manufactured community drama,
harassment, um putting pictures up of people, you know, for for money. I never offered that service. Or or would I? I would just you know. But anyway, um yeah, they do that. They
um but then the thing is it's like, "Oh, this person is the uh the protector of children." Oh really? Okay. So you're So you're just you're you're like this moral, perfect person that can like sit around and just judge everybody because it's like of
um cuz you're cuz you're perfect because you pick that in the little little like um topic of the week or whatever. Whatever the hot the hot um moral high ground topic is, you'll take it. But you at the same time you're talking about gangs, you're talking about criminal activity, like in and stalking, spying. I mean,
it's so interesting. And by the way, do you have any kids? What's your um what's your um degree in child-rearing, your degree in child safety? Check out a channel called Sandman and friends. It's a good channel. But he's the person that makes that site see that and you can see
some of the hypocrisy demonstrated. So anyway, that's what I had to open up with, I guess. Um cuz it's kind of gross to me. And I noticed the same kind of vibe from that BK channel. And it's good that they're like, you know, almost a couple or whatever, Ebu or whatever. Mhm. But it's just like and I don't know how
how their chat seemed boughted to me. Yeah, they have active chats um like see like there's no not one person's talked in my chat yet, right? And so but if you look they're the same few people. Not there's not a hundred people talking. 150 like the like their numbers say.
There's maybe 10 or 11 people talking. I don't I just that seems like such a low percentage of even though they have big mouths and people that do talk, right? And they sit there the whole time and I don't know. I'm not saying I'm not comparing or anything like that. I'm just saying maybe like you know, they're not as big
as you think they are, right? Cuz they're coming forward like they're like the end all be all of this thing and they get to boss people around. They get to decide who get who's in and out. They get to be the gatekeepers. Who who voted them anything? First of all, even if like it was like you know by the numbers, it's not a popularity contest. It's like actually
like you know, it's about the truth really. And it just seems like they just like you know, they need targets. And so I'm really going to be avoiding any of that targeting on my channel. That's why I don't even want to say really names. I don't even want to say their shows' names or screen names or whatever
because they'll just cry. I mean they'll cry. I mean it's they they can sit and talk about people for hours. If I go into a chat and talk into a chat, oh you're stalking you know, BETA. I'm stalking BETA? Why cuz if I go into a chat and try to participate then I'm like, you know, blocked from the chat. They're they're
going on the panel. I'm allowed on the panel most of the time, right? I don't know if it's cuz I got clapped or they just like controversy, right? But um that's going to say that's called stalking. You know I'm bad tonight but I'm called that. But how about like when
they come in here um start harassing chatters, they start harassing me. They send porn bombers. I mean it's like they just try to ruin things. They just try to ruin things. They come in try to ruin I mean that's the kind of like negative behavior and stalking. So I
don't care. Like really um who is um who is here. I mean I do care who's here. It's like I don't I don't care about having just people here. I want good people here. Doesn't mean I need to be agreed with and everything. The whole thing with the BQ situation is like 90% of those people that like had a problem that first day or
whatever, they weren't even my friends. They weren't even my supporters. They were trolls. Now I'm getting I still um the S M N person the B B BK. He supports the predator in the cage, right? He supports the predator protector. He loves Brandon Q. He wants No, Brandon Q has said the most horrible disgusting things
to me including that he's going to put me in jail, that I'm a pedophile, that he's going to expose me, I don't deserve this, I don't deserve that. This is the person that's like, you know, on camera trying to, you know, beat beat down this poor Mexican lady's door, you know, threatening her dog. This is the person, you know, encouraging 13 and 14-year-old girls on the Monkey app to drink and
then is making accusations against me that are completely false and there's no proof and you guys know there's no proof. I've asked people to produce the proof. There's none. Just rumors and something they're just desperate to make me a bad person. Like desperate. And yeah, and there's and it's like not just them. I mean it's a lot of people
because it's like there's yeah. Um also I got people like you know, they come in as my friend and then it's like and and of course I don't care who people are mods at. I don't care where people go. But people that are supposed to be my friends and then they can sit on a panel with um
and not even like challenge, you know, they can sit on a panel and just sit and laugh and be best friends with like people that literally doxed um harassed and door knocked and uh, you know, sent stuff to my house. It's like mhm. It's really confusing sometimes, but you know, so no one's talk I don't know if I guess I guess uh, well, there's 20
people here. I don't know is everyone blocked or something? Not one person wants to say hi or anything. Cuz if no one does, I'll just go um, for today. Cuz I don't uh It looks like my chat is dead. Well, yeah, maybe I need to go and uh go and uh, I mean I don't care if the chat is dead. I mean it's like it's obviously I mean
the channel obviously I have 19 people in here right? They're just not talking. The chat is dead, but they're alive. They're in here. They're just like stalking. Stalkers. Hi Papa Roach, how are you? They're like sitting here waiting to like pick apart what I have to say or to make fun of me or waiting for me to make content for
them to use and not promote my channel at all, just to make fun of me. Um to to about me. I'm just being careful not to like use too many names or like like call out people and talk about people. And there's certain people that say they don't want to be talked about and I and I I'll respect that. You know, it's like I'll even block them. Hey Vinette, how are you? Love you. Thank you. So, okay. Yeah, the chat's waking up a little bit. Chat's not dead. Maybe they're just a little sleepy
sometimes. But um yeah, I mean I'm I'm going to go uh I'm just going to Am I having fun? Thank you for that. Yeah. Am I am As long as I have As long as I do have fun and I do have really great people on
show and behind the scenes that are supportive and stuff. But it's like it's sad when I see people being two-faced and I'm not saying just being in a chat is being You can be in any chat away. I don't care if you're with the worst enemies chat or anything like that. But it's like kind of like cognitive dissonance. It's
like you can't You can't like be my friend and then Let me see. How am I going to put this? Yeah. Basically support through your through your words and actions.
Like what they're like what they say about me without challenging it. I mean I don't expect to be defended or anything like that. Cuz I'm Am I I defended? I'm very rarely very rarely. Am I even allowed to speak in most of these chats? No. Am I to be spoken about? I mean it's like I Like there's one person that's banned in my or two people that are banned in my
chat completely. Or three people. Okay, three people. Maybe there's more that I I remember. Yep. It's true, Vinat. So So Brandon um is banned in my chat and and on the panel. Um and it has been for probably over a month. If you um If you think I'm friends with him or anything, just go look at his board and see the horrible things he says about me.
Okay? Yeah. I I I've I've done a public apology of that already, but it's still going to get thrown in my face. Can we ever Like are we allowed to like change uh change our approach or change our mind to have new information? Isn't that a sign of intelligence to be able to to um assimilate new information and
to make adjustments or is it just like you're supposed to believe what people say and then if you don't it's like you're don't I don't know. So that person and then you know the allied master computer person and all a lot all these people have multiple alts I know and so I need them mods to look out for these people and also
um um this sage cuz these people all gone real life. Right. Trans psyche? Oh I'm not going to change my gender you know you know I've been told first I got told oh my masculine energy I must be like summoning some like some like demon of of like masculine lust and stuff.
And I'm turning into a werewolf. Literally the next day I look too feminine and I'm turning into a woman and there's another demon I'm working with that's making me into a woman. I mean okay there's 72 Goetian demons I mean are we going to go over 2 months more and it's a new demon every day and you can find the challenging angel and I mean all that kind of stuff and it's
okay if you do that I don't care. Does does it affect me now because it's not true I'm not uh worship I mean I worship a goddess and I believe in God I don't worship worship demons. Will I have a conversation with perhaps a demon? um Sure.
I'll have a conversation with Brandon Q not on this show anymore I mean I have some stuff to say to him I mean that doesn't mean to have a conversation does that mean endorsing supporting and agreeing with every single person every single thing that person has to say? Yeah. Yeah I mean he I really see that and I
feel bad because I actually came forward like as a person like going okay well is this person like I see hurt people cuz I've been hurt, you know?" It's like I I have empathy and I and I and I see and I I was like, "Wow, it's like is this person getting a raw deal?" Uh not knowing much about it, but I see all the bullying and I see people that bullying me bullying him and blah blah blah. And I gave him I I was nice as I could be. Nice as I
could be. Supportive as I could be. Oh, took a lot of hits. Took a had a lot of people like just to and then have that person say the things that they say. I don't feel bad. You only feel the inside of a Well, here's what I feel right now. I feel the um
I feel the itch of my finger to ban your ass. Want that. Okay. Um yeah. Mhm. I don't know. I'm just talking a little bit. I'm I might might go for a walk in a little bit. I'm here with Lola. Here's Lola sitting here. Hi, Lola. Just Lola. Hi, how are you? That's the It's that's
just my green screen special effects. So, I did. I really did. I tried I mean it's like and I am like and even if like there's mistakes made in people's past. I mean, who hasn't made mistakes? Are we going to hold people to this? I mean I mean it's like I was always honest about every like a lot of stuff like drug history. I my arrest history. I was
I was honest about all these things. I've told all these stories. And now it's like these things are being dug up again like it's some kind of shocking scandal and stuff. Produce something. Produce one document. Produce one witness where I ever did anything to anybody. Other than just people just bullshitting. I was rejected by Brandon Q. So, that's Brandon Q right there. See how it's like
all these people at once that I've never seen before with that exact the exact same punctuation. These are called bots. So, what Brandon does is he just buys a bunch of bots. And he has the nerve to say I have six people in my chat and no one cares about my music or my AI slop or whatever he says. I'm the one rejected and it's so Oh, Brandon rejected my energy. Okay. Um no, actually he continues to come to
my show. I have not come into his chat. I have not um posted on I'm posted anything on his wall. He I have not tagged him. He has constantly done that to me and so how is that rejection? That seems like attention rather than rejection. Brandon banned me? From where? I don't want to be in his chat.
It's boring. He's sitting there there alone playing some game I don't want to watch. I know. The guys you can see. Look at All of a sudden, who are these people? Oh my gosh. Look at it's the Q army. We are the Q army. Brandon types and we say what he wants
cuz he pays $20 a month to some Korean um bot farm. Right? Okay. Well, Brandon rejected me. I'm about to go I got to go cry, guys. I'm really sad. I wish he would reject me. Insulting everyone, right? I mean, that's the self-destructive. Of course
he's going to be sitting alone without anybody cuz he he's chased away anything good. I cuz I was the person that was like, you know, nice. I learned lessons, though. Sometimes Tur Sometimes not everyone deserves my kindness, my uh attention. So, I'm actually about to ban um even
his name in my chat and that's going to be the final rejection. And I'm sorry if there's another I mean, but that's the hard because there are other I'm just going to I'll ban the name BrandonQ. I was re- I know I was happy happy. It was the best day of my life being rejected by him. It was so great. It was so great.
Um is anybody fooled by this? Samuel Cortez 07342213176. I mean, that sounds like a robot's name. But it that sounds like Is that the name of Elon Musk's daughter? I mean, jeez. The real people here are Papa Roach and
Vinette. Everyone There's no other real person here right now. Cuz I banned that uh psyche's sex change or whatever and or psyche's I don't know. Okay. But I don't even I don't but don't even worry about banning the bots because, you know, I mean, I could I could do something so they wouldn't come in, but
Hey, you know what? It's good for the algorithm, I guess. But I do have a I don't know. Whatever, guys. It's like, you know, it's called Darvo, what he's doing. I mean, a lot of people do. Darvo is like deny, then you turn around the accusation, and yeah. I look like Elvis. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Uh
I I always feel like, how are you? Um Yeah. What's that Elvis song? What's that What's that I guess It's that one about prison. It goes If I dug him up right now That's not very nice to say. Would I look I look like a corpse zombie? That's
an I saw him in another cryptozoological character. I mean, the thing about the cryptozoology It's all fun fun and dandy to say, "Oh, werewolf and vampire and blah blah blah." Do you know what the When it comes down to it or demon or whatever Okay, when it comes down to it, you know what that is? It's dehumanizing. It's It's taking away a human identity, so then therefore you don't have to
feel anything toward the person. They're basically an animal or worse than an animal. They're monsters sometimes, right? A were- were- were- coyote. I know who you are. You're just um Let me see who has the coyote gang. Is it What is it Juice the Shell? Who are you? Were you a coyote? Yeah, I'm not a werewolf or a coyote. I'm just a human. I think humans are are everything. But
we're we're But we're everything. No, we're not just one thing. I'm not I'm much more than a werewolf, a vampire. I'm a demon, an angel. I mean we're all those things in certain ways, you know, certain aspects, certain interpretations right? Um but I don't say that in a dehumanizing
way. Yeah, see I found the coyote gang. I know that. It's probably this stage. Are you trying to say that because you know you think that it hurts my feelings because um like a year before I started my show like one of my my beautiful cats um you know, was killed by coyotes. But do you know that also like the coyotes is also my spirit animal of mine too? And so it doesn't it's not insulting. I
mean people are But I won't even like let people know. It's like they they think that they the weaknesses and stuff and they're Yeah, exactly. But then you know, you know, we're everything and nothing. We're we're we're all It's like just like we're one. We're we're we're all one with like the universe or the source or the God, but we're all individuals. So So we're not
Each one of us is not ourselves, God. But all together we're something or you know, but we're getting closer. Not just on Earth, right? We can put in other planets and aliens and bring all them into it. I think even the Anunnaki were asked about well, are you God? Are you are you the you're the top? And they're like, well, we're we're we're very advanced
spiritual beings. But there's the there's the one. I feed the coyotes. Um they're misunderstood animals. Cool. I don't feed the coyotes. What are you talking about? You're talking about cuz one of it one of them um you know, ripped one of my cats into pieces. So what you're saying I feed the coyotes? That what you mean?
It's really straight I mean it's like really sick. I mean it's that people would like throw these things It's like how many people like lost an animal or a child You know how many times I've been shamed and and and had this had thrown in my face things about like my animals raised like children passing away and stuff. I mean it's like and no one says anything. It's like oh it's It's like It's like
She probably deserves it or blah blah blah blah blah, right? I know coyotes are misunderstood. I mean they're I I go for more See my like the When my father died that day there was a a baby coyote spotted at the top of the driveway. And that that was kind of a sign to me because um you know there's there's all often animal omens around times of
death. For me, I've seen butterflies around my grandfather, hummingbirds after my grandmother, and then the coyotes after my father and stuff. Um but he was a Gemini and Gemini is known as the divine trickster. Coyote, coincidentally, is also known as the divine trickster. Am I a big fan of coyotes right now? No, never ever since one got my animal. You
eat the cats when you turn into a were-yote and you don't remember when you wake up a man again. Okay. Yeah, it's like you eat my cats and I turn into a werewolf. Well, you sound Do I sound stupid or to you? I mean it's like Remember the werewolf transition didn't happen. I I mean I I was streaming
during the full moon. No, I'm not not doing what you tell me to do. I was streaming on the full moon and uh and I was being very closely monitored and it turns out I didn't turn into a coyote. I turned into like a woman or something like that. I don't know. I don't feel like I did. I feel like I looked like I was just like a guy with an English Do I need to have a huge beard to be a man? I don't understand. Do I need Do I
need to I'm just me, you know? And it's like what Like why are Why do people keep trying to define me? Why can't people try to define themselves? It's a good question. Yeah, exactly. But why did you just say I turned into a werewolf though? How do you say where ootie where ootie? Well, you know what? I just don't feel like talking to you anymore cuz you're
just annoying. Don't tell me what I am or am not. How about I can define for myself who and what I am. You're gone now though, so it doesn't matter. I am not that. Maybe I'm a um son of an archetype similar like the Gemini is a coyote archetype, right?
Um or archetype is a Gemini coyote is a animal under the Gemini archetype, but that is not me. I'm actually a goat. And fish. A goat fish. Which is like not even a real thing, but I'm That's closer to the truth than any
of this other I'm being called, right? At the end of the day, I'm just I'm just a human human being. I'm complicated and uh you know. I bleed. I feel. Um
And uh everybody hurts right? I don't know. So, I guess it was kind of a waste of time coming today, but you know, except for like the net. Thank you. For being here, Vinny. I guess you were you and Is there anybody else? Papa Roach? I I
know. I don't think he likes me very much, but uh Anyway.
Well, thanks a lot, guys. You know, go have fun at like Betas and Salmons chat and uh and then talk all the you want about me there and everything. You're welcome. I love you, Bernadette. Thank you for being here. Have a good day, guys.
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