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Psyche addresses accusations of being manipulative and unforgivable, sharing his feelings of hurt and rejection during the holiday season. He discusses conflicts with people in his community and questions what he did to deserve such treatment.
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Observers see the surface.
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Browse era →I love the world by falling off a sledge. St myself together on a rusted ledge. They call it failure, call it pledge. Carving truth to the liar's head. Every mistake just alchemy. Every crack my biography. And they keep trying to rewrite my face. Protecting the
shadows all over my space. They want to say they can crucify, but I'm the ghost they can't deny. The sight of the broken man. The mart won't collapse.
Every fo reloads my fire. Every scar resets my choir. You see your fears in the sp. But I'm the herink. I rise from the ash. You try to trap. I'm psych of the broken
map. I don't want to name the pain. Walk through storms just to re the rain. The world sees chaos. I see the chain that links the lost to the gain. And I'm the lesson wrapped in smoke. The truth inside the joke. You crown me villain and beg me to heal.
You scream me s that you want to feel. You build your mess out of everything I break. But I'm the story you car. I'M SICK OF THE BROKEN MAP. Fighting life through every trap. Every
fracture feeds my vision. Every stumble is perision. You think I'm chaos, you must forget. But I'm a heretic you. I rise from the fire. to try to caps
of the broken map. I fall down cliffs just to learn the climb. Bleed through centuries inside one lifetime.
I carry the code no script can fly. My ruins are rarer than your shrine. I walk the fall lives others flee. A living trial, a prophecy,
a cycle of the broken love. The m to over every lie you try to name me with. Every myth you built from it. I'm a heretic with the fire sword.
on the actual lost door. You try to bury me under your cloud, but I'm sick of a broken map. Let them pull in the flame. Let them twist the holy name. I walk through the frame from every fall.
Whoever that idiot is that um BBC or whatever. Um it's going to be Bronze Bird, of course. Go yourself. I mean, really, manipulation. Yeah. Feel sorry for a second. No, I'm just asking a question. Um what did I really do that's so unforgivable? Can someone just tell me that? somebody can somebody like you if if you watched her
special her side of the story or even VA's right what did I do that it was so unforgivable like now I'm being called um an adept manipulator I'm being said oh I just wanted to use her to get with the group like huh does that make sense I wanted to get with what group what group am I
in I don't understand um and I really want to know what I did so it's so unforgivable Besides, get a little paranoid one day, but I don't know. I guess that's unforgivable right? Can you hear me? Go yourself, Bronze Bird. Really? You're so You're so obvious. And you think you have a BBC? You're not even black. Bronzebird, please.
What are all these black people? Pure people claiming they're black. I don't understand it. They're not black. They're like Puerto Rican or something like that. Oh, I'm black. No, you're not. Puerto Rican. Saman, Bronzebird, whatever the you are. Bronxird sounds more white than I do. If that's possible.
What a dick. Anyway, Bea's a total bit. Hey, how about this? Bea saying, "Oh, how dare you call me mean names? She called me a yesterday." Okay. How about I get mad at her for calling me a name? No.
Yeah.
I'm the bitchiest gay guy she's ever met. What? Yeah. Well, I'll be on fire today. What's with these people? I don't understand. They're like the same person, too. I'm sorry. I know they don't like each other, but you're pretty much acting the same like the same person, you know?
That's what she Yeah. Yeah. She called me that yesterday. Said I was the Do I need to find the uh the uh the trip or not the what the panel verse clip and show you where she calls me yesterday on her show? So if I call her that's a little bit less.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Just make more hour specials about me, too. It's like what? I'm sure there's going to be a lot more of them, right? Do I need to go through every like little thing? How I manipulated? Yeah. Wow. It's like I've never been nicer and kinder and more like bent over backwards
to please people that just spit in my face.
I mean really not not worth I'm not worth not worth a forgiveness. I'm not worth apology. I'm not not worth accepting my apology. Right. Your car might at least you have a car. I don't even have a skateboard. I have a
I have a you know a ebike that is still needs a little bit of work on it. But I'm waiting for some weed right now. I need some cannabis. Very coffee. I'm going through like the stages of
grief of a death of relationships that shouldn't be dead. Just cruel people.
Answer me. Did Did anybody have one answer about what did I do? They could explain it to me. I just slept in a state of confusion. Always. Always. I know, Chanel. Two feet in a heartbeat. That's what I got. You know, I got I got two feet in a prayer right?
I didn't do anything to them. Neither of them. I didn't manipulate them. I didn't I know. Well, well, I wish they I wish people could forgive on the holidays, you know, instead of being so cruel. Mean people mean.
It's like I'm reacting like this because I'm hurt. What's their excuse? Are they hurt? Oh, I have feelings, too. I have feelings too.
No, there's no answer. There's nothing. What did I do? It's gaslighting. Anyone's being manipulated is me.
Slandered and the end. Oh.
I get stuff sent to my house, too. YOU GET 1,200 LB OF concrete sent to your house, on your front door. You got one little mouse header that I saw. Jesus Christ.
I don't want to rule the world. I just want I just want like one friend. That's too much to ask for.
She had a little She had a little a mouse in a sealed bag. Did you even open it? It was It's It's snake food. That's what she got sent to her house. What? And a pizza. Has it Has it been every single day for for six months that has been happening? I get stuff that's my house, too.
>> I mean, do we understand severity of things? I don't I don't know. I don't know. Is she just so She doesn't get it. Oh I said it. Yeah. Well, maybe it's appropriate in the situation acting like a Yeah, I don't mean to say it. I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend anybody anybody
with any disability, but it's sad when people with abilities are worse off than people that have actual disabilities. And, you know,
If I I get dumped, I want it to be for a reason, you know. Not even dumped. I mean, it's like, you know. >> Hello. >> Okay. Um, I'm going to I'm going to send that right now and then I'll go my side. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Okay. I have
cannabis here. So, just bear with me one minute. I'm going to put on a little something for you and then I'll be right back. Okay. Hold on one second. Pay this guy. Hold on.
Excuse me.
Be >>
>> right back. Oh Hold on. I need to verify something. Okay, hold on a second.
Okay, hold on.
Oh my god.
What?
528. One second. Hey Lenor.
Okay. And then
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Hold on one second. I got it. Did you pick up the photo? Hey, I'll be right back. One second.
>>
>> Okay. Well, probably going to watch me fall asleep. What's the situation? Oh, thank you, J. Thank you, Jamie. I love it. I saw it last night. I love it. I'm sorry I didn't. What happened? What's the situation? Hi, Nick. Here, someone come up and talk to me. I need
to talk to somebody. I'm flipping out. Hold on. I need to be calmed down. Actually, you'll see calm down real quick with this
what I do. Two g um carts.
Oh, you want some too? Hi. Hold on a second. I'm gonna I'm gonna fix it. Here you go. Hey. Hey, Douggee. >> What's up, Psych? >> Hi. How are you today? >> I'm doing well. Happy Christmas week. >> Oh, what a merry Christmas it is. What a merry Christmas it is. Just
>> not Christmas yet, but it's Christmas week, right? We're what, seven days? No. Six Six days out. >> Yeah. Um I'm fixing it. I'm sorry. Hold on one second. Six days out. Yeah. It's not a very good Am I still here? >> Yeah, you're still here. I just I'm trying to fix here. Here. I think that'll fix it. There we go. There we go. No worries. >> Oh, I got a dragon fruit and a Do you
white gummy bear? Oh, that sounds good. You do you like um Do you like weed? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. Well, let's smoke it together. Well, >> I got some weed. I'll pack a bowl. >> Okay, perfect. I think I need to calm down a little bit. >> Yeah. I don't know what you all I just came in and I heard you just for the last couple minutes. I have no idea what the issues are, so I'm You know
>> Yeah. Well, I don't know. Do you know who Alexandre Mayers is? Huh? >> Alexandra Mayers. Do you know who that is? >> May maybe I I don't. There's so many people in African-American woman. She used to be a kind of a famous porn star. She's in the community IP2 kind of community. >> Yeah. No, I don't know her. >> Okay. You don't know her? >> I don't think I know. I don't think I know any porn stars. Psych. I don't
think. >> Oh, I Well, >> unless I do and don't know it. >> I I happen to know a few. But you know, do you know who Beta is? is not a porn star. But >> who? >> Beeta. >> Beeta. I know. I know who beat it from chat. Yes. >> Yeah. Well, not not my chat because she dumped me like Well, maybe maybe from my chat. Yeah. She she uh Well, she's just
not dumped me. She's been she's been very mean mean to me for several months. And uh I don't know, just she called me a yesterday on her show and then she today she says she's blocking me because I called her a I mean, it's like, well, >> figure, right? >> Yeah. So, I or I'm calling her mean
names or something like that, right? My pick is not real. Oh, hold on. Oh. Oh, come on, Brandon. Don't don't be mean to Nancy. Nancy is a great friend. Um, I don't know. I'm just like, you know, I just feel like um it's really easy to to to just dump dump me, you know, like again, like and uh
for no reason really. Like no great reason. And now I'm being said, "Oh, I'm a I'm a manipulator. I was using um this woman the whole time to get close to beta or something like that." It's just like so stupid. I mean, I can't I I just don't understand. Um but I'm I'm really scattered right now. I'm gonna smoke a little bit of this. I'll be even more
scared. I think I think the people in chat who take things so seriously are um intentionally trying to create drama basically. What's up Vanguard? Oh,
you know there's people in chat, right? What what their goal is is to create drama. >> That's what their goal is. Right. >> I understand. Well, the chat really today. They're not to blame. Um because it's like it's all me. It's it's me going nuts, right? >> Hello. >> Hey, Natty. >> Hi, doggy.
>> Good to see you. Good to >> see you as well. >> Hi, Natty. >> Happy Christmas week. You too, Vanguard. Happy Christmas week. >> Hi, Vanguard. Love you, darling. Not in a sexual way. Don't worry. I'm not coming on to you. I lie. He was a my little big brother. >> Well, he was so rude to you yesterday.
But look, you love him. Like, you know, >> he's like my smelly big brother. >> Vanguard is rude to everybody, right? It's not just >> just rude, right? >> Like I said, he's like my smelly big brother. >> Is that have a brother? Yeah, I enjoy it and like be able to like say whatever
and like it we're okay. But no, if I make a little mistake or slip up in the relationship in any way, um I'm just take a 30-day break from this person. I'm I'm no contact. They're thrown out. Like I'm not a narcissist. I mean, I am a narcissist, but I'm not like a severe narcissist, right? I'm not like a malignant narcissist. I'm just a regular narcissist. I'm just a regular
narcissist. That's just like everybody else. is like if you live in California to survive you have to be a narcissist or else you will just unal alive yourself because >> just everybody else I don't know it's hard to describe right >> what's a narcissist >> all I call narcissism for me is high
self-esteem is like loving myself >> I don't love myself so I'm not a narcissist >> well you should love yourself you know and it's like >> I'm the opposite I hate myself >> yeah loving yourself but not more than once a day Right. >> No, I several times. >> narcissist. >> You can't be a You have liquid for it. No, I'm just kidding. >> I've been accused of being a narcissist
>> in times. And >> I don't think it's fair. I don't I don't think I think I agree with Psych. I think everybody has to be a little bit self-centered, right? Everybody has to. >> Yeah. You know what? Well, she wasn't a very good friend anyway. She She used to yell at me all the time. used to be horrible because I was nice.
And one time there was Jack Russell come running outside of a garden and I got scared as a little kid and I ran behind her and she got bit instead of me. >> Okay. Cult of Y. Hold. I'm going to ban this person right here. Uh I don't think
>> I basic I basically used her as a shield. Well, uh, let's see. Oh, hi. Really unforgettable. Hold on. Hold on. What's wrong with Gotham? Gotham's from India. I have this friend from India. He's saying something's really unforgettable.
>> Doggy used somebody for a shield. >> Um, Gotham. Gotham. Gotham's okay. >> Yeah, Gotham. >> It depends because sometimes I do unselfish things. Like for example, if I if I'm walking with somebody I love, we're crossing the road, I will cross
paths to walk in front of them. So the car would run me over first. So >> choose that because I don't want them to get run over. >> Well, guess what I made? I made my own IP, too. I made it. I finally was able
to do it and and it's ready to launch too and it's perfect. I'll show I'll show it to you. Do you mind? You want Can I show it to you real quick? I think >> Yeah. I want to answer Vanguard from before. He asked me, did I enjoy Italy? Italy was great. Let me just say I had a fantastic week in Italy. We were in Colombia and then went to Sicily. Saw some very cool things. Ate some good food.
Met a few Italians, you know, stuff like that. >> Awesome. When did you go there, Douggee? >> We went traveled on the 5th and came back on the 13th of this month. So, kind of a week ago I was still there, right? Yeah. >> So, >> how awesome is this to a guy who's half
in all creek? >> I'm so excited to announce that I finally got this done and I'll share it with everybody if it works. Okay, you guys talk. I'm sorry. I need to figure this out. Let me see. Oh, here. Okay, it's working. It's working. Okay, now watch. >> Do you want to delete Vegas mom? >> Okay, I'll delete her.
>> Mod, delete her, please. >> There we go. >> Well, it's not working perfectly yet because there's no streamers. But >> I posted on my channel on my post. You'll see pictures from Italy. I will, >> you know, kind of like Greek temples from 600 BC and uh Roman villas from 200 AD and stuff
like that. >> Man, if we Who is this? Who are these people? Hold on. Natalie was on the White Tupac show doing what? Shouting me. Uh oh. Well, I've done that too on the White Tupac Show. Where else would you do that? >> Well, yeah. And anyway, what what is that a problem? >> Yeah. I mean, who cares? >> Yeah. >> See what Natalie does on my show. I like a good hard rodine, you know. >> Yeah.
>> Yeah. >> There we >> try to figure out. I'm sorry. Now, >> what woman doesn't, right? I mean, >> there we go. Hey, how about that? How about that? Okay, we're good. >> No, probably is the host. Like, I can't handle it. >> You want to be here? Oh, you want >> your stream? Your stream.
>> I don't I I I don't >> You heard what she just said. We're going to tag team her now, right? >> Oh my god. I don't know if I'm ready for that. >> I don't mind. She can take any old but my bottle. >> Thank you, Vanguard. >> Okay. Well, I think that was what I needed was that um weed because wow, I
haven't like had some good weed for weeks, you know, and uh I just had like a little like resin and like just like a little >> You get really high then when you smoke because if you haven't had good weed in a week, >> you be ready for it. I'm bl I'm I'm high but it's I was in such a bad mood too and I because of circumstances and stuff and I I don't know if like you've seen
what's going on Natalie like but um you know I'm I'm just going to be made a laughings stock again like you know but it's all right you know I'm used to that but um >> you know what a lot of people hate me I don't know why but there's the good people that love me like you guys >> and it's qu I take
quality over quantity >> I agree with Yeah, for sure. And I do love you and I love Douggee, too. I mean, you both of you have been like such great allies and friends like during this show and come in hard times and all kinds of stuff, right? Remember Douggee when I met you? It was like I
was like I probably >> I remember >> I was I was having a hard time and he came in and you bought bunch of memberships and you just gave like all this great sage advice, you know, like things that I you know like don't put Gotti on the show. Unfortunately, that that that rule's been broken. You know,
>> he's actually funny on the show, but you know, some of the other sometimes it got it gets out of hand. Like I left him alone the other night with >> who is neg >> I just speak from experience, right? And from my my experience may be different than someone else's, >> right? You know, you know what I mean? Because we're all different. We all have
different expectations. Um, but God's never stayed on my panel more than a few minutes because I have to throw him out. You know what I mean? Because I don't have >> Well, no. I left him. I left him up with somebody the other night and all it was like with Sig and not it was it was Sig
and actually Sig and somebody else but all of a sudden the n-word um like all over and over like and then unaliv talking about unaliving people and it's like those are just like like these red flags for the for the algorithm and stuff like that and they they just keep repeating these words and they know I say and they it's even mentioned oh well
it's done to troll me because it's like I don't like But it's like, well, who would like it? Like, first of all, but it's like, and I don't know if I know being troll, is it really that much fun to like troll me? I don't understand. Um, >> Ness, why are you being Don't be rude. I'm going to time you out because you can't be rude to my guests. Like, Natalie, she's awesome. And so, you're >> Yeah.
>> I just spoke in my kitchen with my back door open. >> Well, Gotham likes your smile. Gotham. I met Gotham on Instagram. He's from India, like South India. And I want to ask you, can you tell the rest of India about my show? Because I think he like found it now. It's he's got it all to himself in India. I think he's like >> I think I met Gotham at Zenis at Zen's chat. I believe that's where I met him.
>> Oh, you seen him? You've seen Gotham? >> Have I seen him? >> I believe he's been on a panel and I've seen him. Yes. >> Oh, yeah. He's actually on my panel, too, though. Yeah, he came on my panel. He was not wearing a shirt. >> It was great. He knew the rules to my show right away. Like I would always say, "Don't wear a shirt, Douggee. You've never broken it. It's okay. Natalie, yes. You've broken that rule. No, I'm just kidding.
Natalie never never flashed. She never did. But it it would have been okay in >> No. time. >> Well, Natalie, you like to dance though, right? It's a little bit sexy. >> Yeah, I do my splits. >> Yeah, she has the splits, which can, you know, I think Douggee is interested in seeing that, but I don't know. Hey, are you still sick, Natalie? Now I'm sick.
>> No, I'm not sick. >> Are you singing karaoke again? I still got orange so I could do like it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Soon the bells will ring
>> of your own front door. >> It hurts after a while. It hurts my vocals. >> I know. I missed the Christmas party this year where they always sing a bunch of Christmas songs. I missed it this year because I was sick and I'm still a little bit sick. Um, but I think
>> for Christmas, >> I had to take care of urgent business. >> Okay, Douggee, I'll see you soon. >> What's that? >> Oh, I think you need to take care of >> No, I said it's taken care of. I took care of it. >> Okay, good, good, good. Thank you. >> What do you think of my phone? People uh people make fun of me because of my phone, but they don't give but I don't give a So, >> is it a camera? >> Yeah,
>> it has a camera on it that I don't use. >> If it has a camera on it, I don't use it. I This is for phone calls and text messages. That's what I do on this on this device. What I don't do is go online on this device. I I don't do that on on the >> Who is not next? Is that Punk Rock or somebody? >> I got excited. You were talking about
Natty flashing. I was say, well, I have seen her flash. That's all. That's all I was gonna say. >> Well, we'll see what happens. Like we >> Oh, >> I wouldn't encourage her because I I just wouldn't. But, you know, >> hello Mojo. Oh, that woman is all right. Liberty and N and N.
Vanguard is all right as well, you know. >> Yeah, Vanguard's all right. You know, listen, Natalie. Natalie, >> someone had a terrible phone. You know that Vanguard is the smartest person in the room, right? You know that. >> It's like my big brother, you know, >> my stink. >> Everybody, everybody in the chat, I just want to let you know Vanguard is the
smartest person in the room. Nobody's smarter than that guy. >> Yep. >> Oh my god. Let's see. One second. Um, >> Nick of Time. Hello and good to see you again. Yeah. Um, so >> Vanguard, are you coming up? Come on.
>> I want surrounded by British people. Come on. >> He don't like me being too nice to him. So, I'm going to call in my
>> So, >> you're figuring out in your channel now a little better, Psych. Right. >> Yeah, because I've had the channel taken down twice already. Like, I've been through that twi and it's like it was so unbelievable of a miracle that I got it back. It was actually through the
intercession of another party, you know, um that I didn't that that didn't really even know the story or anything and they they were just attached to my account and I had the ability to just they were just by chance attached to my account. It's one of those companies you come across. It's like, hey, connect with us >> and you connect your you know, you log in through Facebook or whatever. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't do that I I know what you're saying. But
yeah. >> Yeah. >> Well, that Yeah. But I had so had but it had it was a reputable company or whatever. Um I think it was about like forwarding you your your earnings before it came in or something. But because they were like I was remember I was like I shouldn't do this because it's like tied up to the finances of it and stuff. It says they have the right to like take out your payments and stuff. But just for some reason I did it. Maybe I was
just drunk or some for some reason. One night I did it and then a couple days later my channel was taken down. And then after I got it back, like about a week after, I got I read a letter from them, this company that said that they had they had interceded and like they had got my channel back for me after two of my own um appeals, you know, that it
were rejected. So that was a miracle. And it was right before payday, too. So I got paid that that month, too. It was just crazy. It was like But >> you say payday, you mean from YouTube? Yeah, YouTube pays once a month on like 20. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't Yeah, I don't have no idea how that works. I'm never going to monetize.
>> Well, why um Why haven't you or like you know it's like uh or or what? How far away from Have you looked into the studio YouTube studio and like >> I don't want a boss. >> But you but you're it's a partnership. So you're not they're not a boss. They're not your boss. They're just you're a partner and then it's like they can cut off the partnership. >> I I don't want to have ads on my I
don't want YouTube telling me I gotta have so many hours and so much what I don't want none of that. >> No, you don't have to. You don't have to um have ads. I I don't have any ads on any of my videos at all because um I think that it's like I want people to be watching the videos. I don't want them to be turned off by an ad. And there's like the ad revenue is so so small compared to like what you actually
>> actually um the get through super chats or get through um the other memberships, right? And so, um, even like and I've every month, um, we made the threshold to get paid on YouTube every single month. And it's like, um, since I've been monetized and like you have to have at least $100. And so it's like I've made at least $100. >> At least 100. Okay. Is that what you're
saying? >> Yeah. >> And um, I know a guy that's monetized. He's been monetized for quite some time. He's got, I don't know, 25 some thousand subs. And he told me the money he makes from YouTube is enough to get him beer. Right. No, he he said he makes a couple hundred pounds. He's English. He said a couple hundred pounds a month is what he makes.
>> Yeah. >> Now he he has a job and he works and he has source of income. It's not like he relies on YouTube for income. But basically what he says Yeah. It keep it pays for my beer for the month. It's basically what he said. So >> cool. Well, I mean, it's like >> I don't think anyone actually gets ever gets like filthy rich, you know, as a YouTube channel. >> Oh my god. Some people do. There's
people with like, you know, million million subscribers. I mean, it's >> Yeah. Like, but one one in in what? Like one in a million, right? >> I don't think it's even Well, it's like even one in a million to be monetized, you know, or like it's like actually it's like one in 100 YouTube channels are actually monetized channels, right? >> One in a 100. You don't need to play commercials actually with only with the
shorts and they put the commercials on the shorts on the shorts reels but and so they're automatically monetized but the regular anything else is like you can choose to put the ad on or off and I need sp I need to show you or or like you know or lead me towards like a good source you know be appreciated you know it's like but um you know that's very rare finding those
and it's like but I believe >> I'll yeah >> the I learned an amazing >> Sorry. >> No, go ahead. >> I learned an amazing statistic the other day because I bothered to look it up and I don't remember the numbers exactly, but I I'll tell you what they were. Right. We have a population in the
United States of 360 million people. Okay. >> I believe we have over 23 million Let me see 300. Yeah. 23,500,000
over 23,500,000 millionaires means one in 15 people in this country is a millionaire. And they define that by your gross assets. Okay? So it doesn't mean you have a million dollars in the bank. I mean, do you have a house and whatever else your assets and blank whatever
you're worth a million bucks or more, right? >> Yeah. I know. But that's what everyone wants to, you know, it's like but even having a million dollar like we go through more than a million dollars in our lifetime, you know, like most of us will. >> Oh, easily. Most of us earn more than a million dollars in our lifetime. But I I mean you only you're making that what 75 80 grand a year, right? It doesn't take
for maybe you're making 50 a year. You'll make a million dollars in 20 years right? >> Yeah. >> That's not But that's not that's not your gross asset because you spent that money. >> Yeah. So, you have to have like this like revenue source that's constant. And uh >> I mean, and that's hard in life, you know. It can be hard in life. It's
always nice to have like I mean, I feel like anything this this channel is like, you know, even if even if I was on the street, I think I would have like at least something to eat from this channel. So, you know. >> Yeah. They're talking about things like money you have in your IRA or other stock investments, you know, a hard asset like real estate or perhaps fancy cars. I mean, nothing's
really worth more than your house, right? But um or may, you know, >> Yeah. >> One in one in 15 Americans is worth over a million dollars. >> Yeah. Well, do you know in like California, like for half a million dollars, you can get like a a basically a one-bedroom >> house, you know, >> if you own a house in California, depending on where chances you're a
millionaire just because you own the house. Yeah. >> So, it's crazy. >> I just say that about we're talking about YouTube and people make money and how many people make any serious kind of money. I think very, very few people make serious money on YouTube. Right. Ungodly.
>> I think it's possible though. I mean, it's like I mean, I do think it because I see so many I don't know if it's just the channels that are in my algorithm, but I see so many channels that are like over 100,000 subscribers or like I'm subscribed to most people with over 100,000 subscribers. And so, you just see I see more of them than I do of like just like small small channels, you know, because it's like >> I'm the opposite. I go mostly I'm on
small channels, people with a thousand or less or whatever, you know. Yeah. I know. Well, yeah. I mean, it's like I mean, I have I have I have over like 2,000 of channels I've subscribed to, you know? So, >> I'm subscribed to at least 2,000 channels at least. I'm subscribed to all kind of I am subscribed to some
big channels. There's a guy called I Show Speed. You can look him up by that name. >> He's got 55 million subs or some You know what I mean? It's like pathetic. And I watch him I don't find his content all that interesting, but he has an entourage. He has a cameraman and a security guy. They go around together
and they live streaming this nonsense. Right. >> Right. >> Whatever he's doing, sitting in the passenger seat of a race car, going around the whatever it is he does. He does a lot of things. Zipline, >> you know what I mean? Stuff like this. >> There's people that make money on channels that don't even show their face. They have multiple channels and they it just has good content on it. And uh I mean that's all it is is like it's
like a >> well good content like Natalie flashing, right? >> Well, yeah. I mean that's like outrageous. I know it's you know controversy and sex cells and all. >> Don't do it. Don't do it. >> Do you have any YouTube aspirations monetarily?
>> Are you monetized, Natalie, or would you ever want to be monetized?
Natalie, I don't know. I'm never gonna get >> Never going to get monetized. Yeah. >> Is that because you don't want to or because you just wouldn't? >> I'm never going to get monetized. >> Okay. >> I don't want to. I could. They've come on to me. YouTube has sent me letters and I'm like, "Yeah, no." You know what
I mean? Yeah. Um, yeah, I know. Like, uh, YouTube wants everyone to do it like, um, especially live streamers. They really like live streamers. They're, um, and they promote a lot of them. I mean, it's like a lot, but there see there's people that will have like zero people in their chat like then and they never get anybody in the chat. It's just like I
think it's starting like uh being there regularly, you know, and like like establishing like a fan base that come follows you and follows like the kind of storyline and like all kinds of stuff like um not like that this is a story line, but it is like if you like were to take my show even all the real stuff that happens on it like all which is all real, you know, but it's like you could put it into a storyline of things that
have happened you know it's and uh because it is like a reality kind of >> thing. Yeah, I don't know. I'm very high. Look, look at my app. I'm actually making this. I made a few really cool apps and uh I showed you that one. I mean, how'd that look? What do you think? Did you see? Did you see? It's going to be like a a web directory with
the live streamer. It's gonna be it's going to show when people are live and have like the live show on top or whatever or the top show or something. >> I don't know. It'll be good. Okay. Sorry. No, it's me. I I talk right over you. I'm sorry. >> No, you're fine. >> What always boggles my mind is these people with like 20 plus thousand subs
and there's like four people in their chat when they're live and I think to myself, how do they have all these subs and nobody comes, right? What is that all about, you know? >> Yeah. Well, because um that like a lot of them are like b they buy buy subscribers or they're just not on
consistently. Like a big part of my success is I've been I'm on every day for like several hours and so like usually, you know, so >> if you buy subscribers, what is what good does that do you? Does that mean you get paid more for the ads and or what? >> If you what if you uh >> buy if you buy subscribers? I know
people buy them. I've seen people buy >> you buy them, but it's like I mean I guess but it's not you're not supposed to. It's like against the YouTube like rules to do that. And um >> why is it so easy to do? >> Because there's like a because it's like you know people get away with it. Um like a lot of people do it. Um YouTube doesn't really enforce that rule too much. Um
>> so buying subscribers I mean you don't get paid by YouTube by the subscriber then. No paid by like the people that are watching the ads. If there's ads, you get like ad revenue and then it's like all super chats or your um memberships which you can set up or you can like have a brand partnership um you know where brands will come to you. You can
have merchandise that you sell and you YouTube will advertise it you know um like you see like the little north sweatshirts and stuff like that. um >> they got a lot of clicks actually like um but you know >> people sell their own merchandise they make t-shirts and of course nowadays you don't have to keep stocks of like hats and t-shirts because you
can sign up right and pay pay a fee and then when people order them you have them made to order and shipped right from a company or make them to order and ship them right >> yeah they don't they don't you don't they they pay you don't pay for it until like someone buys as their merchandise and then they print it. >> Then they print it. Yeah. You don't have
to have a a room in your house full of boxes of small, medium, and large t-shirts, right? Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You don't need none of that. Yeah. >> No. This is Rudy. Do you know Rudy? Have you seen Rudy? >> The cat. >> I see Rudy the cat. >> Yeah. Have you seen him before? >> I don't know. Maybe. I I've seen cats in
your house. I can't swear that which ones they were or not. He's He's like 17 years old, I think. 16, 17, maybe. >> 17. Pretty old. >> Yeah, he's an old cat. But he like uh he he got some cream the other night. Someone donated a like McDonald's. And uh he drank the cream and then like ate some bacon and stuff and then he ran out
and he caught a mouse like that was his like his first time like I will in a long time because he used to be like a great hunter I heard. Oh, and there's Leni. >> And Lenor is here too. Oh, >> a mouse. There's Lenor right there. >> Hi. Oh, she want picked up. Okay. Yeah, she's like she doesn't want to be like right when like there's another cat
there. She likes to be like have all the attention and so she gets kind of mad if she ever catches you under the cat covers with another cat and stuff. >> Oh, Rudy. >> He's very sweet though. >> Hello, Joanie. Let me say hello Jamie's cowboy chicken cakes. I think I said
Mason the drummer. Nick of Time. I know I mentioned Galam. I I mentioned not neg. Hello. Not negs. Anyone else? I've forgotten. Twig boy. Les. Less. What's up, Les?
>> Flippity. We got Flippity in here. Okay. >> Yeah, we got And Gotham, of course. Gotham, are you gonna come back on panel or are you still here? I would love to talk to him. He's actually very quiet though. He's a man of few words which I kind of like on my show because it's like, you know, I talk a lot.
I made this oracle um basically this oracle app and I'll I'll show it to you and then you can like have your oracle read on it. >> Okay. >> Like the Greek god. >> These are these are Indian goddesses. These are like kind of >> You're right. I'm sorry. You're correct. Oracles were were women. They were not men, right? They were goddesses, right?
>> Yeah. Actually, can I I have a short video if you don't mind. I don't if Yeah. Hold on. I I have to show show this so you guys can understand like who they are a little bit. I don't know if you've seen this. I I made this uh and it's just like a short introduction to them. Okay, let me see. Um, if you have if you have if you have a little bit of
time um because it's like it's really interesting actually and it will deepen like the relationship with the the oracle reading that you get. >> I have a little bit of time. I'll have a look. >> Okay, cool. >> But I I am going to go soon. Like soon. >> Okay, we'll see if you like this. Okay. And if it's too if it gets too boring or whatever, we'll uh I'll just do like I'll do I'll just do four minutes of it.
Let me see. I'll skip. >> Do whatever you want, man. >> Okay. Okay, here check this out
>> figure. >> I have been watching the you the stuff that you post. Psyche too. >> You think of a goddess? You probably imagine a gentle maternal figure. But what if I told you about goddesses who cut off their own heads, sit on corpses, and prefer away impurities, when you think of a goddess,
probably off their own heads, sit on corpses, and prefer to hang out in cremation grounds. >> These are the 10 behaviors of Hindu tantrrisism, and they're designed to completely shatter our idea of the divine. They are deliberate anti-models of the perfect woman created to subvert the social order. Collie, for example,
is naked, wears a necklace of severe heads, and stands on her husband shiver, flipping the entire patriarchal script. These goddesses find power in what society fears most, death, blood, and pollution. They don't just tolerate these things, they embrace them. In their world, goddesses dominate gods who are often shown as lifeless or serving as a mere foottool. It's a radical vision of divine power where liberation is found not by avoiding the terrifying
but by facing it head on. When you think of a goddess, what comes to mind? Probably someone gentle, serene, maybe surrounded by flowers. But what if I told you there a group of goddesses in Hindu tantra that completely shatters that image? They are the Mahavages, the 10 great wisdoms, and they are fierce, untamed, and sometimes downright terrifying. But they aren't here to scare you. They're here to wake you up. These goddesses represent the parts of
reality we usually try to avoid. The intense, the uncomfortable, the chaotic. They are divine disruptors designed to break through our fears, our attachments, and the neat little boxes we put the world into. Let's explore six perspective shifting truths about these powerful wiggers. First, the mavist challenge the perfect woman ideal in a world that often expects women to be gentle, obedient, and nurturing. These
goddesses are a radical counternarrative with her wild dancing on the body of Shiva. She isn't asking for permission to be powerful. She is power. The message here isn't to be shocking for its own sake, but to be spiritually free and announced. The mahavages represent an inner sovereignty that refuses to be tamed by social expectations. They are types of liberation. Second, they turn
what society deems unacceptable into a spiritual teacher. Many mahabases are associated with liinal spaces cremation grounds, battlefields, places of decay and transition. These are the thresholds where life feels uncertain and raw. Takimati, the widow god is and associated with disappointment and loss. In our modern world, we run from these feelings. What if there's profound wisdom right
here in the heart of what we reject? The point isn't to glorify suffering, but to realize that the sacred isn't just found in the clean, comfortable, and socially approved parts of life. It's everywhere, especially where we least expect it. Third, the Mahavages put the divine feminine principle at the absolute center. In many spiritual traditions, male deities hold the highest position. But in the world of the Mahavages, shut
the dynamic creative cosmic energy is supreme. Male gods like Shiva often appear but they are frequently in a passive or subordinate role. For example, the goddess Chinamasta stands on the divine couple and rotti who are themselves on top of Shiva. This isn't about male versus female. It's a spiritual teaching. It tells us to look again at what we consider secondary or supportive. The source of all power, all
creation might be hiding in plain sight. In what hour conditioned minds have been taught to overlook? Fourth, their most intense images are about renewal, not destruction. When you see a goddess holding a severed head or wielding weapons, it's easy to misinterpret it as senseless violence. But symbolic, the severed head often represents the death of the ego, the cutting away of our limited small self. The goddess Barovi,
radiant and fierce, represents the fire of transformation, the kind of intense inner change that burns away impurities and illusions. It can feel frightening, like your whole world is falling apart. But this destruction is what clears the ground for something new and more authentic to grow. It's the kind of ego death that precedes true spiritual liberation. Fifth, the goal of engaging with these goddesses isn't just to ask for favorites to become transformed.
Many people approach deities with a list of requests. Please give me a better job or please help me find a partner. The tantric path known as Sodna is different. It's a system for completely rewiring your inner world. Instead of praying to the goddess for power, the practitioner aims to align with the very principles she represents. So, when working with a goddess like Bagalamuki, who has the power to stop all motion, the goal isn't just to silence your
external enemies. It's to gain mastery over your own restless chattering mind. It's about overcoming your inner obstacles, your fears, your compulsions, your feelings of helplessness and embodying a state of clarity and freedom. Finally, the mhavities teach us that ultimate reality can be experienced as sound and geometry. This might sound abstract, but it's a core principle in traditions like Sri Vija. Here, the goddess isn't just an image or a story.
She is a mantra, a sacred sound vibration, and a yantra, a mystical geometric diagram. The Sri Yantra for instance is considered the visual form of the goddess Lolita tripundy. This reframed divinity entirely. It's not something you just believe in. It's something you can interact with directly through disciplined attention, sound, and symbol. It is less like a religion and more like a contemplative technology for exploring the very
consciousness. So the Mavages are far more than just edgy aesthetics or monster goddesses. They form a profound and coherent spiritual language. They teach us to confront our fears, dissolve our self-imposed limits, and find the sacred in the most unexpected places. They challenge us to see the world not as it appears, but as it truly is a dynamic, vibrant, and sometimes terrifying dance of cosmic energy. By looking directly at what unsettles us by embracing the fierce and the
forbiddance, we are invited to break the boundaries of our own consciousness. The path of the behavior is not an easy one, but it is a path to a radical and uncompromising freedom. What fears are you avoiding? And what power might be waiting for you on the other side? Thanks so much for watching. If this exploration of the divine, >> how'd you like that? >> Well, yeah, there some of it I was
familiar with some of it, but not all of it. Um, yeah, female gods, the Indian female gods. I know I know about them. Um, I don't maybe not know their names, but you know, I think it's uh, this is what I think. >> I think it's not something I would seek out and watch left to my own devices. Okay.
>> Why? Because I really it's not a thing that I that I wrap my head around that, you know. I just don't, you know, but >> willing to try I I'd like to give you the reading now. Like Okay. So, right here I have the oracle, right? >> Okay. >> I made this. Okay. >> So, so pick uh you can choose um you can
open >> transmission open a door. >> Yeah. Card spread. You can have you can even brow see so one of the things you can do you can browse all of them and like you know they have just they have a beautiful picture and and all the qualities and all that. Okay. But I'll but I'll just give you the one card reading. >> And this is a this is a web page that
you have. >> Yeah. This is mine. Yeah. I made this one. Okay. So we >> is it is it a vehicle for making money? >> It will be. I I might monetize this. >> It will be. So that's your goal, right? >> Yeah. I have four apps right now in development. So this is one of them. And then I showed you >> and the goal of the goal of course is to
have these different websites. People visit them and you make money. >> Yeah, you can. Yeah, >> because there'll be ads or whatever and I don't know what. Yeah, >> you can. This is a I think this is a great oracle though. I I believe like for a source for divination, you know? Uh interesting. >> You say you made it though, right? >> Yeah, I made it. It's like >> you made the web page, right? You didn't
make up the content, the Oracle and stuff. That's stuff. That's >> a AI wrote the code. >> AI wrote the code. Okay. >> Yeah. I just describe what I wanted. Exactly. Right. >> I get it. >> The code was basically will make the code for you. Okay. >> Yeah. Okay. AI writes you write it's like Yeah. I've heard I've seen those things those AI songs. You put in a
little bit of information kind of like mad libs, you know, when you write the words in and then they make the songs, right? >> Yeah, you can do that. Yeah, that's one way of writing um songs on it. There's there's a lot of ways for writing songs um and uh including just writing the song and uh yeah, like I don't know. Did you know that Gotti and Alexander stole Christmas?
>> Stole Christmas. Yeah, they they stole it. Oh, and they also >> an an AI song, right? >> Yes. Well, it's great. This the video was created with Yeah, >> I've never seen it. >> Oh, you've never seen it? >> I don't, you know, I don't I know people make all this stuff and they post it and they want everyone to go watch because
for whatever reason. I generally ignore all that stuff. mainly because not not everybody's, but most of the people I know, I don't I don't have any interest in what their videos they're making to slander somebody else. I just don't give a You know what I mean? Cuz I'm not I'm not their targeted audience. Go ahead, play it.
>> Okay, here. Let me see. Here's the >> But I'm not audience. You understand >> Okay. Don't act surprised. that? Oh,
I caught accidental sneaking out the group chat. Lip gloss popping looking guilty as a doormat. Stockings on the mantel. Drama on a sleigh and got it gloss just wink like what can I say? They were acting platonic. Yeah, sure. All right. Then the missile to appear like a ring light. Not the cocoa spill and not the bells going wild. But
the way Gotti said I taught him how to smile. I saw Alexander kissing Gotti claws under the streamyard tree breaking all the laws. What a scene. It was glitter. It was tea. He kissed him once then blamed it on the energy. He didn't cry. He didn't flee. He just said, "Babe, don't
clip this part of me." Now King Carl is demanding >> where is my explanation? >> Think that this is cranky calling it a violation. Jam's mad at Mason like not today. I swear and ghost is crashing out throwing ornaments in the air. But Gotti takes the credit like it's his full-time
job. I invented romance. I'm the reason they sob. Alexander's like I uh tripped. Okay. Then he kissed him again in a very oops way. I saw Alexander kiss and got claws under the streamyard tree breaking all the laws. What a scene. It was glitter. It was te. He kissed him once, then blamed it on the energy. He
didn't hide. He didn't flee. He said, "Goti, stop looking fine at me." >> All right, everybody, hands on heart. >> Repeat after me. >> I release the need to be >> I release the need to be subtle. Yeah. I subtle. release the need to blame Mercury.
I accept that Gotti Claus is unfortunately charismatic. And if anyone asks, it was research. I saw Alexander kissing Gotty claws under the Streamyard tree. Round of applause. Oh, what a night. It was chaos. It was glee. Now every time they log on, it's a
holiday for me. And if Carl starts yelling, we'll agree. Then kiss again. for community. Sleigh bells ring, the chat explodes. God, he did it obviously. And somewhere in the distance,
still no beat.
>> >> So, did you know they Yeah, but then they but then they actually like stole Christmas. That was what I was doing. >> I got it. >> They actually stole Christmas. Um
very wrong down in the code of psyche right by the streamyard tree. We had snacks, we had candles, we had vibes only decree think was cranky guarding cocoa like a night king car was demanding more glitter to make it right. Jamie's Madden Mason. Seasonal but intense. Ghost is
crashing out in 12 different tents. Then out of the shadows with a grin full of cheer came. Gotti and Alexander like we're helping. Oh dear. They brought holiday spirit in a suspicious looking sack. And the chat went quiet like, "Wait, put that back." We heard a little giggle. Then a zipper went zipping. Every ornament
vanished in one small little clip. Gotti and Alexander stole Christmas. Yes, they did. Took the lights, took the gifts, took the festive grid under the Streamyard tree. They made the great escape. Gotti yelled, "I plan this." While Alexander held the tape. Now we're standing here like, "Is this a bit? Is
this real?" Still no beater. And I can't even hear.
They snatched the playlist, replaced it with Gotti's greatest hits. A three-hour loop of him taking credit for existence. They stole the stockings, left a note that simply read >> boundaries grow. Also, I'm the reason Santa's fed. >> King Carl bang the table, demanded retribution. Goty called it leadership and blamed the
time delution. Alexander look innocent, eyes wide, fries in hand. >> Like I didn't do anything. I just helped him understand. Then he pulled out McDonald's like a peace treaty trade and everyone forgave him for a solid 8 seconds. Okay, thank his softly. This is why I hate joy. Ghost posted I'm done and then rejoin to deploy
and Alexander stole Christmas. Yes, they did. Took the lights, took the gifts, took the bestest grid under the Streamyard tree. They made their great escape. Daddy yelled, "I plan this." While Alexander held the tape and Jamie's still mad at Mason. >> The plot stays thick. >> So we're caring through chaos like love that for a sick order in the circle.
We will now review the evidence. One suspicious act 14 unexplained. Got he did a declaration and a receipt from McDonald's that says to >> return the >> in return my peace. I'm leaving again. >> I'm leaving. Don't even breathe.
>> And from the back of the room, come back, Alexandra. >> We need adult supervision. >> They climbed the hill, counted loot with a grin. Gotti made a speech about how he saved the season again. Alexander laughed, then got quiet, stared down at the town, saw the cult still singing, even with Christmas
gone. No lights, no gifts, just off key joy. And somehow it hit them like, "Oh, that was the point." Scotty and Alexander almost stole Christmas. Yes, it's true. But the cult kept singing like we always do. So they brought back the lights and a few apologies. Scotty claimed I allowed it for his personal mythology.
Under the streamyard tree, we cheered. Then we signed. Still no beater, but at least the vibes are
lights on. Chaos carries on. Come back Alexandra and bring beat along.
Okay. >> So, it's telling a story as best as I could tell. >> Well, yeah, there's a story. Yeah. Well, this Alexander and God stole Christmas. It was like kind of like the Grinch and they stole all the lights and all the decorations, but the cult was still happy because we we just can we just like sang anyway. >> I am gonna have to go though.
>> Okay. Well, I'm sorry. Thank you for watching all that. Oh my god. >> It's fine. No worries. I'm going to do a panel here in a little while. >> Okay. Hey, and go ahead and um post your link. I hope I think you're a mod in the chat. So, go ahead. >> I am. I could post my link. I'll do that. >> Okay. Have a great day. >> Yep. Thank you for having me up and uh merry Christmas and all of that. Happy New Year. >> Probably see you again.
>> Wonderful. Love you, Douggee. Thanks so much. >> Thanks. See you later. Bye. >> Wow. I got it so high. Um, excuse me. So, I don't know. I'm gonna play my oldfashioned Christmas song now.
>> Sleigh bells ring, the vibes feel cursed. Thing is cranky first. Think fattis is cranky like a cat in a wreath. Side eye so sharp it's cutting through my piece. King Carl is demanding more sparkle, more flare. Like bro, I'm one person. I have only two
hands and a prayer. God takes credit for everything we do. I invented holidays, sir. You invented being you. Alexander got me McDonald's saving my soul. Now I'm spiritually thriving with a nugget shaved gold. Jamie is mad at Mason.
It's a seasonal beef. We're passing around receipts like ornaments on a tree. Still no beta. What is this We've been manifesting since suffering? Thanksgiving. Ghost is crashing out. The
group chat screaming, "Come back, Alexandra. We need you." Beaming, "Fa please return ASAP. The cold is festive, but it's down bad. Ghost is crashing out like I'm done. I'm free." Then post a vague story that's clearly about me. King Carl
bangs the table. Where's the beta supply? God is like, "I made beta. These lying supplies think fattis is cranky. Won't bless the cocoa. Says this peppermint triggers my inner snow. No. Jamie won't talk to Mason unless there's mediation. So we schedule
a healing circle holiday edition. Alexander's fries are cold, but the love is warm. We're carolling in chaos. This is our norm. Still no beta. What is this suffering? We've been
manifesting since Thanksgiving. Ghost is crashing out. The group chat, screaming, "Come back, Alexandra. We need you." Beaming, "Fa, please return ASAP. The cult is festive, but it's down bad. Okay, everybody breathe.
One hand on hard, one hand on the McDonald's bag. Repeat after me. I release the need to control. I release the need for credit. I release seasonal grudges. I invite Pete into this timeline. And lastly, Alexandra, come back. We are simply not stable without you.
Still no beta. This is a tragedy. Someone call the North Pole's HR department, please. Ghost is crashing out. Carl is demanding. Got himself awarding. Jamie's reprimanding. Fa la. Bring beta too. Come back Alexandra. We miss you.
Think that is cranky. Carl wants more. Gotti says I did it. We can't take it anymore.
>> You want me to sleep if you want for a little bit? >> We'll see. Cat, what's up? Had fun talking.
>>
>> Okay, I'm awake.
I look terrible. Hey, Jonah. My gosh. Hey, there's still people here. Hi, I just need a little What? That weed hit me. Weed is right.
Wake up a little bit.
Squitch must deadling bell snow like static truth like hell. 3 in the morning cursed chest sings over child break all their rings. Christmas miracles break these chains. Think the tears last in the glitched out rain. Ghost puts on the trolls
that hurt while the demons work. Rainbow sinners like GL their hating back to hell. It won't be the same. It's true. Till the dark brings Alex back through. Hey hey hey red light camera on I'm live in the frost every mod in the chat knows we're counting a loss Christmas tree
blinking like a cursed old sigil panels look cozy but the vi all visual beat in the box with a wicked grin let's turn every scar to a story line when we made prophecies out of trauma and te snow on the overlay knives in the field there's a hole in the grid where your can once burn you and Alexander will you ever return your laugh with a spell your rage with a shield now it's just echo in a broken field every block a wreath on the door every troll band won't go some more still the cold hits hard when I think of you silent night but the ch screams
through Christmas miracle Ghost break these chains in the face. Ghost drops push us in the super jello. We just be in the black house. Ring those spinners like bells turn their lives into
stories we sell. But we won't be the same. It's true till the neon signs. I you know from the void my heart and I left it destroyed. Dripping silver chains of a pixel skin. Everyone call is a quiet sin. Close a Christmas dream and a hood no face. Dropping big like a hit and run grace type that one then disappears like a glitch in the feed or a god in the wires. We roast each other like
chestnut shard. Laugh too loud cuz it's all too hard but under all the memes and a curse of a cult of souls that refuse to fake one night when the clock hits three. The broken the block they'll all break free. And somewhere in the code of this crooked dream there's an Alex return like a hidden thing. Who's going to bring Alex back?
Who's going to bring back those three times in the unity chat? Watch fade out like they never did that. Say three times in the chat. Watch fade out like they never did that. Kicking like where's my summer hit? Flirty diamond anthem. I'm so mad about it. I
said, "Look around, bro. The sun's long gone." We turned your beast truck into a hextop song. Now it's bloody diamond of a cursed white street with a grill beat. Same petty lyrics just cold red light on my screen. >> Congratulations, Otto. Your thirsty June jam caught frostbite.
>> Christmas we do. Curse by curse. Who turns pain into heaven and love? We know we do. Give us more now. Christmas miracle last time those chains. Ghost
put wars on the ch. But he's here today. Bring those tears like let their lives be the story we tell. Broken will glitch it unknown till the neon star spell she came through. Glitch miss glitch under the
snow. Every lost friend has a path back home and I write fade in the chat. Type miracle once and we'll see about that.
>>
>> I crawl out the vow you never kept. Serpent tongue, velvet step. Every secret you hid, I already wept and burned it clean in my scarlet breath. You want my hunger cuz you fear your own. I'm the knife in the dark that
makes truth known. You cling to the mess, but I drink the core. I'm the sin. You chasing the cure you >> ignore. >> Venus in Sagittarius.
I run where the wild stars scream. I kiss like a prophecy. Sharp and unseen. Freedom's my alter. Desires my bow. If you can't keep up, then let me go. I love like a comet. Fast, bright, true. But I never burn out
for the likes of you. I dream in angles the world won't trust. Cold steel, logic, wrapped in cosmic dust. I feel everything like lightning dust. Detached, electric, dangerous. They say come
closer, but I see straight through. I love the pattern more than I love you. You want a mirror on a storm instead. Sacred rebellion
hum in my head. >> All placements fused. Scorpio whispers. Sagittarius flame Aquarius opens the quant. I'm not your fantasy.
I'm the force that breaks it. I'm not your shadow. I'm the one who wakes it. I ride the horizon like a true dipo
collapsing sun. My love is a freedom I can't contain. You can't.
Try to cage my soul and I'll melt the chain.
Call me nearly coming down.
Arise where your fear keeps you underground. Thank you. A Big Mac.
I'm waiting for someone to come up. Hey, want some burger? I'm not really in the mood to talk right now so
the void keeps screaming in reverse. My ears ring with a holy violence. A choir of ghosts rehearsing curses in the marrow of my skull. I want to break from his quiet the roars like a god with no
face too loud to think. Too bright to blame. Too close to the bone. Too fake. Drowning. Drown every me. I don't want to try anymore. I'm tired of dragon skin proy.
I'm tired of baby tireless virtue. We're all going to die. Oh my pre Christmas clean
little dreamer don't sleep your head in the clouds because the ground was never worthy. You walk like a whisper sharp into a plane. You look through me like you see my past life. Living on a prayer like it.
Getting high on a dream. You stole from the gods when they weren't looking.
You fall like a tearing gravity destroy you. You step through my like behind my heartbeat. Living on a prayer getting high on a dream. Your shore will break the sky.
You make it violent. Call me ultra violence. Call me the blade behind the blessing. I keep it critical, surgical, mythical. Just how you like it. Just how the cold lights when the shadows get hungry.
I don't want to try anymore. I'm thinking by angels with human lives. We're all going to die. Some of us flying out with our car into
the dark. Dream little dreamer, don't sleep. Head in the clouds, feet dancing on the far. You look at me like you know what I was before the reapers broke the seal. Living on a prayer, getting high
on a dream. Riding the edge of revelation.
>>
>> Silence before it learns your name.
A love you a thank you. Oh, so sweet.
Oh.
Oh,
behind these eyes the veil is torn. No mortal light, no human dawn. A hollow temple where gods once fed. Now only sil
carved in red. You draped my sorrow on your frame. But wearing pain won't flame. You'll reach for the spirit I cast in
fire. You'll touch only smoke from the fallen. EVERY SCAR I HIDE STILL shient him the dead still want.
I am no priest for your rebirth. I'm bound to shadow bone and earth. I am not your cure. I fraction to I can save me. I can save you.
Hope is an altar built on frost. You call it love, but count the cost. You want an oracle sealed in skin. But prophecy dies
when dragged within. I bring no angels, no repaired wings, only relics of forgotten kings. Don't place your faith in
curse. I cannot cleanse your alter state. Every scar I hide still shes. H the destined on
I am no priest for your rebirth. I'm bound to shadow bone and earth. I am not your cure. I fractured so I can't
save me. I can't save you. Cut me open. Read the rooms in blood. See the void beneath the flood. Split me open. My heart's
obsidian stone. No spell resurrects a soul overthrown. You seek salvation from my decay, but even demons turn away.
Every scar still pulling ghost into their dress. Not the light you're crawling through. I
burn, I break, I vanish, too. I am not your cure. No alchemy. True. I can't save me. I can't save you.
Heat.
Heat. Oh,
You can fix me. >> Okay then, profit try. My shadow's already halfway gone. My hobbies walking out without me. Bless me, break me. Either way, I'm yours. You keep calling it salvation. I keep calling it a lie. I'm
stretched in the void. Paranoid halo around my mind. If I ever swore, rise up. The promise died under my tongue. These demons don't harm my thoughts. Now they live in my blood. Sleeping on my bed like an offering. Watching ser on the ceiling drift. If you don't like my apocalypse, say what you just don't whisper it. I'm trying to be better. But the better I try, the worse I break. I a slow fade with an
installments I never agree to pay. Didn't learn a lesson. Didn't learn from other didn't learn from lover. So give me another made me better. Give me another way to suffer. Made me only in a ruin. Made of pain. My only lover. I'm a sucker. Yeah. I'm a sucker for the burn. Kiss me, curse me, promise I'll
never learn. I'm gone for good. This lifetime. Never been a man I claimed I be. Did all the things, said all the lines. Now the mirror won't look back at me. She said she fixed my fractures, then carved her name into my spine. Burn me till the light goes out. I'm blind to every holy sign. You're the last one
orbit around me. Gravity in human form. Touch me till I feel something or break me till I'm finally born. And I'm drifting, drifting with the blood on a bed, she's glistening sunlight through broken glass. Like everyone's watch me listening to the
last take away my chest. If love is a ghost then I'm
maybe better give me another way to make me only in a ruin. Made to pay my only lover. I'm a sucker. Yeah, I'm a sucker for the burn. Kiss me, curse me, promise I'll never make me better. Give me another way to make me only in the ruin. Made to pay my only
lover. I'm a sucker. Yeah, I'm a sucker for the burn. Kiss me, curse me. Promise I'll never kiss me. Tell me you wish I was a dead body. Burn me. Make sure the ashes stop calling. Kiss me. Tell me you wish I was a dead body. deeper.
I guess I'm gone now. wrong with all the ghosts I f lingering in the bliss of dying slow with the sunlight on my bed. You say you want to fix me, but darling, let's be fair. I'm a
wound I get in pain is the only God I ever dare to pray. Make me better. me another
man.
Where's he?
There was a nurse named Christine with a frown sharper than her hygiene. She block half the chat and they're cousins with that. Like a digital grumpy machine. She'd scold and she'd glare and
she'd mut while buttering up folks. She liked to butter. Hey everyone's pal. Now a storm cloud gal with a mood like a pudding of butter. Crystal said wild things. Oh my baby
goat secret mafia us. Oh my. Two grandpas in chairs rolling out in pairs. The world's slowest drive by. Now I don't know what's truth or what's meme. What's legend and what's justine. But one thing is true. She's allergic to
you. Click blocked like a chat from guillotine. So here's a small cheer. Soft and clean. Boo Christine but cute never mean. May her wifi be slow, but her car must still blow and her heart stay less
cranky than Green cheese.
>> Well, that's that's a funny clip. You stick and stones a worse split you open at the seam. C through bone. Pull your chest to say it back. I called and heard myself
echo. Heard my own pulse in the stack. Tell me you love me. If that's what's churning inside my cages
so tire suffocating us both. Let me know you're starving for this too. You wake up taste of my name. Why' you cut me like this? Leaving me hol sh walking. Stop hiding
behind silence when I'm right here bleeding out in front of you. Drop the armor when it's just us. You could have anyone,
but your eyes stay locked on mine across the room. Once you realize we were breathing the same air once you knew we were tangled in the same moment. Tell me now to pull me out of here before I dissolve
completely. I see you holding back, swallowing wounds like poison. Afraid they'll burn on the way up. But I'm already on fire, already consumed.
So what's the point?
center the axis you spin around. Tell me your wreck, too. I'll break myself open for you. Shatter every defense I build.
Even if there's I'm falling. Even if there's no but I'm drifting. I'm drifting. Moving through days like water. I'm drifting. I'm drifting without you. Ghosting
my own life. I'm drifting. I'm drifting. You just watch me face. So speak let me go.
Don't trap me in this limbo. This half love this may be. I deserve the world of pure not this slow disappear.
>>
>> Oh
Yeah. Hold on.
I'm sorry. I got like way too high because I smoked this like weed bait. I don't feel like ending it just yet, but yeah.
>>
>> Hey boy, you want me now for the pretty thing, but the desert heard you first and rose from the doom. Moons wasn't prey, it was prophecy.
Velvet horns glowing dusk panther eyes cutting through the smoke. A green sharp as a step from the heat like a nightmare that learned to dance. You thought I was lit back. You thought I was sweet, but
sweetness is a snare for men who never read the warning starting. I move like a panther in the hallways of your ego soft shadow born dragging your bra into the light just to watch it
nowhere. King of thrones. I don't need to un your unravels with the gentlest touch of my voice. And when you chase me, I vanished
with emotion. Your fingers brushing lonely dust and your own delusions. Do you want me now? Do you want to know? I know you want me now.
I am a creature that turns desire to brightey her. Save blue body. Walk in the fall line between hunger and humor. I bless what deserves it. What invites it and dance circles around every mask you thought
would save you. I don't need violence. Your illusions collapse themselves and I don't swing the rope. You twist it with your own words. I don't break by the rafters of your pride. Kick kick kick at the ghost you try to hide. I
watch the voice of the in between taking notes on your unraveling. >> Playboy you flirting with a creature born to receive.
So tell me, do you want me now or do you finally see the truth? Stuck in the dust behind me. I'm the predator you pray for. I'm the trickster you deserve. I'm the shadow, the heat and the silence. You never stood a chance.
No surrender. >> >> Oh no surrender.
No surrender.
>>
>> Hold. Do not turn your head, pilgrim. The air is thick with omens and hungry eyes. Keep your heartbeat steady as a drum in the underhaul. No flinch, no tremor. But predators
adore the taste of panic. Chain reactions quo like serpents around your ankles. The faction waits in shadow. Listening, judging, wondering if you will rise like a
coming or fall like a forgotten prayer. Will you leave? Will you burn? Or will you finally face the terror that's been sizing you up in the dark? I'd rather stand before the beast then crawl before my feet.
Run, they whisper high. Close your eyes. Do not disturb the ancient thing beneath your ribs. But I'm not built quiet. I'm carved from storm bones and fire. In my creed there is no surrender
for the pulse of your life. Choose your fade. Whisper a warrior because I yield to nothing in this life. There is no surrender.
Oh, no surrender. No surrender. Hold. Panic is a con man with a painted grin. A rerun villain from a bad dimension. Trying to sell you doom on discount.
Live here in this exact breath. The doors are still open. The hourglass still bleeding sand. Choose your doorway prophet. What will you be? A servant of dread or a survivor of the war behind your
sternum. Twist the mirror. See the distortion for the li it is. There is nothing you cannot rise above. When the flame inside you remembers its name. >> They said to coward to blindfold your eyes to let the monsters
slumber. But I am the kind that wakes monsters and makes them bow. Life or legend. What will you pick? I won't regret my roar. My hope remains unbroken.
No surrender. Surrender here and now I push back. Clack
surrender. No surrender now. I rise like a robot stealing fire from the architects of fear. No surrender. Mark it now. I take my power back
piece by piece by piece. No surrender. No surrender. No surrender. Run. I never close my eyes.
Impossible. I walk with the creature inside me. We're all friends now. Run, but don't run from fate. Run for the throne with your name on it. You choose contender or ghost.
I won't apologize for becoming the tempest. In my kingdom there is and will always be.
No surrender.
No surrender. Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. Surrender.
I'll show you back. I'm sorry. Love you. Thank you so much for being here. Love you guys.
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