Episode 0 opens with an original musical piece about a mysterious bald Libran drummer named Mason, followed by a deep-dive educational segment interpreting the myth of Cupid and Psyche as a psychological map for adult maturity, drawing on Gisela Labouvie-Vief's 'Psyche and Eros: Mind and Gender in the Life Course' to frame the integration of logos (reason) and mythos (imagination) as the path to wholeness.
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Observers see the surface.
Summary
The episode begins with a 6-minute musical narrative [0:00-6:13] describing a bald, high-collared Libran character who argues online, plays drums, and is identified by a 'codex' as 'pretty sure that's Mason' — referencing a Jar Jar Binks shirt debt and a prophecy whispered by Jar Jar himself. At ▶ 6:13, Psyche launches the explainer segment, introducing the myth of Cupid (Eros) and Psyche not as fairy tale but as a 'profoundly accurate psychological map' for adult development. She frames the ultimate goal as Hieros Gamos (sacred marriage) ▶ 7:06, the inner union of complementary polarities. Using Labouvie-Vief's analysis ▶ 7:34, she structures the myth in five sections: Logos vs Mythos as foundational conflict ▶ 7:48; the marriage in darkness representing youth's suppression of mythos ▶ 8:38; the midlife crisis moment when Psyche lights the lamp and burns Eros ▶ 10:28; the four trials (sorting seeds, golden fleece, Styx water, underworld descent) as specific psychological integration tasks ▶ 11:49; and the sacred marriage on Olympus producing a daughter, Hedone (Pleasure), as the fruit of wholeness ▶ 13:06. The explainer concludes at ▶ 14:29 with a reflective prompt about which part of one's mind waits in the dark. At ▶ 14:41, Psyche greets the live chat, reads out member names (dark wavy spur, supermephistopheles, rough to dusk, Samhans twin, Rin 712 not nags, infinity chilling, Marilyn) [15:04-15:20], and discusses recent remonetization and Shorts strategy adjustments [15:49-16:22].
This episode appears to establish the show's core hermeneutic: using mythology as a structural map for psychological development rather than mere storytelling. The host's framing suggests a commitment to rehabilitating mythos (imagination, emotion, feminine-coded ways of knowing) as co-equal with logos (reason, objectivity, masculine-coded frameworks) — a thesis that positions the podcast itself as an enactment of the very integration it describes. The musical opening suggests a recurring community lore layer (the 'Codex,' Mason as a semi-mythic figure, Jar Jar Binks as an inside-joke oracle) that coexists with the educational content, indicating the show blends rigorous psychological interpretation with participatory myth-making. The member-name ritual at the close appears to be a community-anchoring practice, reinforcing that the 'Cult' is as much a relational container as a content vehicle.
◈●●●HIGH AI-generated · summarizes on-stream discussion, not verified claims · methodology
Episode 0 of Cult of Psyche opens with a produced poetic video titled 'The Signal Continues,' then transitions into a chaotic multi-guest livestream featuring recurring community members Nick Johnson and Untrackable performing as Osama bin Laden lookalikes, Mason the drummer, Ghost, Arthur, and others. The stream cycles through crude humor, community drama dissection (INX/Christine, Bronze Bird, VA), music video premieres, Psychonomicon lore readings, and escalating hostile exchanges culminating in C's slur-filled tirade.
Psyche hosts a casual open panel livestream discussing online harassment campaigns, community dynamics, and interpersonal conflicts while playing music, doing tarot readings, and interacting with chat.
Psyche returns from hiatus with a 2 a.m. livestream featuring musical tributes to community figures Ghost and Mason, followed by an explainer segment analyzing a chaotic earlier broadcast where Christine reappeared after a 48-hour disappearance and Psyche's own disruptive on-camera behavior sparked a 'triangulating incident.'
Psyche delivers a deeply analytical essay on how metadata, narrative construction, and digital mythology transform mundane conflicts into supernatural drama—using a detailed case study of a friendship collapse documented across livestream archives. The episode then transitions into a live panel discussion featuring guest speakers and extended on-stream interactions.
Psyche hosts a nearly 3-hour livestream featuring an orientation ritual for new viewers, merch reveals, guest appearances from Mason and Apollo, an educational 'Morning Initiates' module on archetypes, AI-generated chat songs, explainer videos analyzing community drama through tarot archetypes, and a closing poetic ritual.
A surreal orientation video welcomes new initiates to the Cult of Psyche, issuing four symbolic items (lantern, mask, gate, mirror), mapping the facility's metaphysical campus (Codex, Oracle, Psychenomicon, Deck), and establishing bureaucratic protocols for participation in the live show.
Explore the ideas at the heart of this episode
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walked into the club like a vampire king black-eyed collar shirt didn't say a thing bald head shining underneath the light smoking like philosophy all through the night he's a Libra so he's weighing every side changes his opinion halfway
through the ride complains all day but you better understand he's got the softest heart in all the land he'll argue left he'll argue right just to keep the conversation alive tonight he don't lie cuz he's evil no that's not the feature he
lies for debate like an internet creature he yells across the room it's everybody's doom
nobody knows what he meant but he absolutely meant it he screams again five minutes later he's your best friend
the codex says pretty sure that's Mason he says no it isn't the codex says we're
eighty percent certain still nobody knows he's behind the drums keeping perfect
then starts another pointless argument online technically actually historically speaking brother
bartender gets confused the cigarette not in agreement
he's bald he's handsome high-collar every night complains about everything yet somehow he's right heart made of gold delivery made of sandpaper the
world's loudest sweetheart still owes a Mason that jar jar shirt still yelling you're still crashing couch coffee beaters this gets nobody has deciphered the
prophecy the codex keeps taking notes and somewhere jar jar binks whispers Lisa believe in you
to this explainer today we're taking a truly fascinating journey into the human mind but you know we aren't gonna look at brain scans or clinical trials today instead we're exploring our psychology through the dramatic magical and occasionally super dark lens of an ancient story we're looking at the classic myth of Cupid and psyche or as the Greeks called him Eros and as you'll
see this isn't just a fairy tale about ancient gods it's actually a profoundly accurate psychological map so think about this for a second what if an ancient Greek love story held the ultimate secret to adult psychological maturity could the dramatic plot of a myth complete with jealous goddesses invisible husbands and literally impossible trials actually serve as a
blueprint for how we grow up well the short answer is absolutely yes but to understand exactly how we first have to look at the ultimate goal this myth points toward that goal is a concept at the ancient Greeks called Hyros Gammos or the sacred marriage now this isn't about a literal wedding okay it symbolizes a relationship of complementarity and wholeness within
ourselves it's the cooperative union of the different and often warring polarities of our own mind this state of inner wholeness is the ultimate mystery we're gonna decode today okay let's dive into this we're gonna be looking at a brilliant psychological analysis from our primary source for today a book called Psyche and Eros mind and gender in the life course by Gisella Labu VVF she shows us exactly how the stages of this specific myth
flawlessly mirror the stages of human psychological development section one logos versus mythos the foundational conflict long ago ancient thinkers basically split human consciousness into two distinct camps and honestly that division still shapes how we think today on one side we have logos this is the
realm of reason objective truth light and what society has traditionally coded as masculine on the other side is mythos that's the realm of imagination subjective emotion darkness and what has been traditionally coded as feminine for centuries our culture has celebrated logos as the superior path to success and kind of dismiss mythos as childish or primitive we're taught to develop our rational capabilities to the exclusion of our imagination but
as the myth of Cupid and Psyche shows us denying half of who we are has some pretty dangerous consequences section two the marriage in darkness the bliss of unknowing alright this is where our myth truly begins we meet Psyche a mortal woman so incredibly beautiful that people actually start worshipping her instead of Aphrodite the goddess of love big mistake enraged the goddess
summons her son Eros Cupid and gives him a vicious command strike her heart with your arrow and cause her to be consumed with passion for the vilest most horrid of men this jealous curse dooms Psyche to a terrifying fate an oracle decrees she must be dressed in funeral robes and left on a cliff to marry a deadly monster this isn't a wedding it's literally a marriage of death but here's the twist when Psyche is carried away she
isn't eaten by a monster no she's taken to a magical palace where she's visited at night by an unseen lover who was actually Eros himself but he strictly forbids her to ever look at him they can only love in the dark psychologically this marriage in the dark represents our youth just like Psyche living in blind comfort we spend our early adulthood suppressing our
mythos our intuitive emotional feminine side just a blindly conformed to the demands of society and achieve that logical logos driven success we stay completely in the dark about who we truly are but you know you can't suppress a part of yourself forever Psyche starts to feel restless she misses her sisters who eventually come to visit Eros is terrified of this he
warns her calling her sisters false she wolves who want to persuade her to seek his true face in La Bouvie vips analysis these sisters aren't just literal characters in a story they represent Psyche's own suppressed mythos they're the stirrings of her hidden self her rising curiosity and the uncomfortable realization that she is living an unconscious half awake
life section three exposing the hidden self shattering of blind bliss so that blind bliss of youth it's about to be permanently shattered Psyche has to make a choice which prompts the ultimate question for our own lives what happens when we refuse to stay in the dark what happens when the success we've built on pure logic and conformity starts to feel completely
empty and our hidden unexpressed self demands to be seen and this brilliantly illustrates the turning point Psyche grabs a lamp and a knife and will arrow sleeps she lights the lamp to finally see him she realizes he is in a monster at all but a beautiful god but her hand trembles a drop of burning oil falls on his shoulder and he wakes up psychologically this dramatic
moment represents the midlife crisis lighting the lamp is the painful but necessary disruption of our early life structure it's the moment we literally can't ignore the parts of ourselves we shoved into the shadows anymore but wow true consciousness comes at a severe cost arrows is burned and betrayed he cries out I wished our child to be of divine nature but
all has come to ruin now I must leave you and he flees leaving Psyche entirely alone our initial attempt to integrate our whole self often breaks the fragile reality we built we have to lose our naive early adulthood comforts to embark on the actual work of becoming mature let's move to section four the four trials the path to maturity and see how this
builds refusing to just give up Psyche wanders the earth searching for eros ultimately turning herself into the furious Aphrodite who sets her on an impossibly arduous path first she must sort a massive heap of mixed seeds by nightfall second she has to gather the golden fleece from fierce wild rams third she must collect water from the treacherous river sticks and
fourth the ultimate challenge to send into the underworld itself to retrieve a box of beauty ointment from Persephone the Queen of the dead I mean no pressure right but Psyche actually accomplishes every single one of these but only by learning to accept help from nature and the divine now these aren't just some random fairy tale chores to keep her
busy each trial is a highly specific psychological step sorting the seeds is learning to consciously order the mind gathering the fleece is learning to harness assertive masculine power without being destroyed by it collecting the water is capturing the objective flow of life and descending to the underworld that's facing depression passivity and the deepest depths of the feminine unconscious she is
systematically idealizing pure logic and reclaiming the power for Mithos she's finally integrating her active and receptive haves section the sacred marriage achieving true maturity so the crucial point is this psyche completes the trials falls into a death like sleep and is finally rescued by a healed Eros Zeus elevates her to a goddess
and they are officially married on Mount Olympus this represents the achievement of true psychological maturity true wisdom unites intelligence and emotion it perfectly balances active reason the logos with receptive imagination the mythos maturity is no longer about logos dominating mythos but a playful cooperative dialogue between them wholeness requires honoring both the masculine and
feminine energies within us all and there is one final totally surprising and delightful detail in the source material the myth concludes with psyche and Eros now perfectly unified giving birth to a daughter and her name pleasure it's a profound reminder that the ultimate reward for doing this painful psychological work for surviving the midlife crisis and the trials of integrating your mind isn't just wisdom it's the
birth of pure authentic joy as we wrap up this explainer I want to leave you with this to really chew on which part of your own mind is waiting in the dark right now to be brought into the light or you may be over relying on logos at the expense of your mythos the myth of Cupid and psyche teaches us that true maturity isn't about ignoring the shadows it's about shining a light on them surviving the trials that
follow and finally making yourself whole thank you so much for exploring this with me today.
Hello. What's up?
Hi, I got my favorite shirt song that scales in on the unicorn. So let me read out the members which I'll do for the beginning of every show from now on. Thing that is the relaxing dark wavy spur the supermephistopheles
rough to dusk Samhans twin Rin 712 not nags infinity chilling and Marilyn
you
they'll be ready very shortly. Yeah, so I hope you heard all that. Yeah, I was remonetized yesterday. After a few months, I had to like alter my my shorts posting strategy because I had too many shorts. Which is like a problem. You know, usually the only Richard Simmons would have
I have it seems or I had it, but I deprived of the shorts. That's what it was about. It was that had too many shorts duplicating my my previous content. So it was my content was being reproduced on my own. It's fine. But I got it back. At the membership's back, I gave away some yesterday.
I have two tiers, $5 tier, $10 tier for the $10 tier. I'll do like unlimited readings on requests per month. And then I'll give you a codecs membership. Upgraded for the month. Okay. And the $5.
You'll get at least three good readings on requests a month. And members only content, members only lives. I might start like transitioning like for the final hour of the show on to members only for the final hour. It'll be kind of like the after show for like the people that want to be there.
I think it will give you an option. To like join when I do the transition. So you don't want to miss anything. That's a good thing. Also do members only content. There's me stickers. There's the emojis. I'll do really cool ones this time. It'll be better than last time. It's not psyche's angels anymore.
It's like it's like an issue. It's an occultist or the occultist. So that's that. Hopefully you guys have a nice day. It's Friday. I have another half bagel sandwich left. I don't know. I'd rather check my block list maybe. I don't know. It's awfully quiet in here.
Let me see. I'll read the block list.
So here's who blocks.
We have Garrett Death Alpha K9 Lover Brother Bold T. Ray Bryce Kearns Midnight Again Clouds Sack 1090 Kay Keeps It Real Captain Have Fun Hey I know that guy. He's fine.
Sidewalk Chalk 2 James Dickerson Vikram Ghost the Drunk Sticky N Damien Hitesh Tomar JVD Jim J. Haywire Randy Greer Long Dong Silver Sunglass Kid Streets Laza Decruz Trucking Ugly
Gaty Sinister Six Traction Control Rob Cult of Psychos Vismalissa Barbara R Barbara Ben H.K. Gleck Ivan Landl Rob Hart Wilbur R Sassy 690 Fortnight God Green Night Monster Higher and Higher First Contact Biop Yeah Shaniqua Washington Massen Gillyweed Matt
Beanie Andy Bone Builder Carhat Beanie Bradsen Torta Maxler Groupy Face Only Use Me Blades Liza Sebastian Ray Unknown66 Charles Barkley Space Jam Goon Lapeer Neighbor Banana Eatin' Chimp Harold Cowher
I always feel like William Two Firearms Martin Martinez Let Me Be Frank Criminal Case Analyses Rain Dragon Slayer and Spider Awakens Tarot I'm unhiding a few people Um, just a few I don't know Torta Maxler I don't know what that will like that name but Um Ben Gleck Home to Your Chance Um
Rob I mean Rob What's your problem? Keep Hiding You? Jim J. Haywire What's your problem? I keep to keep hiding you Okay You can be in the chat Um, well You can be in the chat Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun
Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun Stun
So I just didn't even be this quiet, too quiet. Okay, I might have to link in, by the way.
And here, you can learn about me in my astrology.
Found any modern social space, physical or digital, you'll find an environment built on constant motion, disconnected ideas, and carefully curated social masks. When people try to imagine the type of mind capable of navigating this successfully, they usually picture a corporate climber,
the stereotypical rigid businessman pushing his way up a conventional hierarchy. A close analysis of this specific astrological chart, heavily anchored in Capricorn, reveals a completely different psychological profile. This is the mountain climber art. The mountain climber is highly durable. They possess the internal discipline required to carry enormous mental weight,
remaining completely self-reliant and highly resistant to systemic collapse. This is a mind that resists the urge to panic, stripping away the noise of the moment until the underlying structural integrity is revealed. It builds a blueprint for survival while others are still reacting to the surface. To pull that off, the system is always running. This mind constantly scans its environment,
continuously gathering vast amounts of social, symbolic and psychological data. Its primary defense mechanism is an automatic refusal to trust appearances. Performative behaviors and surface level interactions are instantly discarded as useless data. Instead, the radar penetrates the surface to lock on to what is actually driving the interaction, hidden agendas, shifting power dynamics,
and the quiet emotional subtext beneath every conversation. We call this state hyper-awareness. Running an intensive investigative scan on every interaction requires a massive amount of neurological energy, frequently leading to deep mental exhaustion. That exhaustion is the required toll of operating a system that actively rejects a shallow existence.
Uncovering the actual truth of human behavior demands heavy lifting. Most minds consume information and leave it as random, disconnected fragments. They react to the noise as it happens. This animation illustrates how a system's oriented mind processes that exact same chaos. It forces abstract, disorganized social data into a structured, three-dimensional model.
Inside this framework, the mind synthesizes the raw data to identify hidden patterns and draw clear connections across entirely different domains. The objective here is survival. By mapping these patterns out mathematically, the system can actively anticipate future outcomes before they ever actually occur. This process is conceptual architecture.
It is the ability to take the overwhelming emotional and social chaos of the real world and construct lasting operational systems. A highly structured system left entirely alone eventually becomes a rigid, unyielding cage of conformity. A truly strategic mind cracks that cage from the inside. This chart carries heavily influential, Aquarius placements.
They inject a necessary dose of radical rebellion, outsider consciousness, and strong anti-authoritarian instincts directly into the heavy Capricorn framework. The result is a paradox of structured rebellion. The individual maintains immense personal discipline, yet they are psychologically hardwired to challenge social reality itself. This drive pulls them naturally toward digital pioneerism. They navigate internet culture
and alternative media ecosystems to build parallel structures. They use their permanent outsider status to analyze the existing machine, disrupt its norms, and engineer highly unconventional communities completely outside of its reach. All of this internal processing, pattern recognition, and world building serves an external objective. There is a point where internal observation is no longer enough to solve the isolation of being a perpetual outsider.
To have a real impact, the persona must move away from the safety of detached distance and toward the risk of being seen. The meaning extracted from the chaos cannot be kept hidden in the dark. It has to be broadcast through authentic self-expression, creative authority, and active performance. This illustration shows the observer transforming into the guide.
They leverage their deep psychological insight and symbolic intelligence to lead others through the very chaos they have already mastered. When an architect provides a system that helps others make sense of their own chaos, they aren't just sharing data, they are building a shared narrative. This is where the systems builder becomes a myth maker, providing the symbolic framework
for a new community to organize itself. Strategic intelligence is more than just manipulating the status quo. True strategy is possessing the psychological durability to look closely at reality, organize the noise into meaning, and step forward as a visible guide for those still lost in the dark.
Maxwell's ways of transforming caricature of a Capricorn is the corporate executive, someone solely defined by their place in a hierarchy,
chasing status and financial power. The internal reality is more solitary, This is the archetypal mountain climber, psychologically durable, self-reliant, and built to carry enormous weight. Success, for them, isn't about the title on the door, it's about the endurance required to reach the summit. This endurance is necessary because
their nervous system is rarely off. They instinctively look past social masks to find the hidden agendas and power structures underneath. For a mind that constantly senses these hidden layers, the surface of reality feels unreliable. Navigating the world becomes a task of decoding. They are forced to organize the chaos of human
interaction just to feel a sense of security within it. This decoding starts with a refusal to accept appearances. The intake process is investigative. It assumes that the most important information is what people are trying to hide. First, they scan for emotional subtext. They look for the specific motivations that drive a person's behavior,
separating what is said from what is actually intended. Next, they identify the mechanics of the group. They map out the unspoken power structures and check for signs of manipulation or instability within the social system. Processing this much social data is taxing. Constantly absorbing the hidden tensions of an environment creates a specific kind of mental fatigue that persists
even in quiet moments. This scanning mechanism serves as a survival tool. It takes the unpredictable nature of people and converts it into raw data that can be studied and managed. Once that data is gathered, the mind begins to organize it. This is where a trait called Mercury in Capricorn takes over, a thinking style that favors frameworks over random fragments
of information. They reject disconnected ideas. To make sense of the world, they have to categorize their observations, finding a specific place for every piece of social data they've collected. This translates social chaos into layered models. By structuring their observations this way, they can see the logic behind why a group behaves the way it does, turning feelings into
a map of cause and effect. This structured thinking allows them to see how a problem in one area, like a personal betrayal, actually mirrors a larger flaw in the entire system. They identify overarching structures that others miss because they are looking at the whole grid, not just a single node. This synthesis changes their relationship with the world.
They move from merely observing the chaos to mentally charting the architecture behind it. The purpose of building these mental models is long-term forecasting. They aren't interested in a quick win. They are looking at how a situation will play out months or years down the line. Their mind constantly tries to survive future outcomes before they happen, identifying where the system might break and reinforcing it long before the pressure arrives.
Maintaining this level of foresight requires immense internal discipline. It means carrying the weight of future consequences while staying focused on the immediate tasks of the present. The result is a high level of psychological resistance. By anticipating the collapse of a structure or a relationship in advance, they ensure they are never truly caught off guard. The ultimate goal of this strategy is a state of being resistant to collapse.
While the stereotypes suggest they want power for the sake of ego, the reality is that they want a system that is durable enough to survive. This makes them uniquely suited for world building and operational leadership. They have the patience to build communities and systems that can withstand external shocks because they've already accounted for the failure points.
Their deep understanding of how structures work allows them to guide others through complex environments. They act as the architects of the concepts that keep a group or an organization stable when things become volatile. This mind is a mechanism for translating chaos into meaning.
It takes the overwhelming unpredictability of reality, identifies the patterns, and builds structures designed to stand the test of time.
Okay, Eleanor.
So how's your Friday going? Just took a bath. It was really nice on my nails real clean. I mean, I listened to some of Bita's show the other day when Christine was on. I mean, there is so, the way they talk is just so awkward. I can place in that, I think.
Shout out to Trip and Sip for keeping it so nicely archived.
It's really handy.
Really handy. Okay, so.
Let's see.
You can hear the return of Christine. I'll try y'all.
Maybe look at the QWERTYJ to see if that difference is up. So you can see what happened there. I think there's a, there's a, I don't know if you can see what happened.
The second main website of PowerChat is not available in Canada. I think he is trolling me. I think, Janice, you're taking advantage of me right now. I don't appreciate that. I don't like being gaslit. You know, if I could have PowerChat, I would. It would be easy to set up, but I tried and I can't. Oh, hang on.
Allegedly, Psyche is, okay, hang on. I want to add you to the panel, Psyche, hang on. You're added to the panel, Psyche, how's it going? Hang on, let me like, small and commit to smaller. Okay. How's it going? Okay, how are you tonight? I'm okay, dude. I'm just kind of bored. I figured I'd go live. I think it's good. So how are you doing? I'm good. I think you're coming earlier to my show and uh. Oh, no problem.
Dude, I have to ask you about the whole thing with IANX because she kind of confuses me. Like a lot of people think of her as like this boogie woman that's like does horrible things. You seem to like her and you let her on all the time. What was the deal with her and Sam-Man going at each other? Like why are they so like antagonistic to one another? Yeah, she doesn't like him that much. Well, he's talked about her and he like shows her.
She doesn't like this picture of herself when she was heavier than he kept showing it on the screen and stuff. And so they kind of have. Oh yeah, I see that. Yeah. Yeah, I did. And I've given her, I gave her like some clap tokens and then, you know, she likes to use this. She uses them pretty fast. She uses them a lot. But yeah, she has two left. But yeah, she used one of Sam-Man to the night. And then Elzo brought him back and stuff.
And but it was, I like when she goes at it with them. Here's the thing about IANX. IANX is like, a lot of people will look at her and they'll say, oh, you know, she does this and this and she's bad and she's, you know, she's, you know, watch out for her. She really is a person looking for connection. Like really. Yeah. And she's just been hurt by people and then people have lied on her and stuff. And so she started like recording every conversation.
She, I don't know if that was part of her personality really before, but it's certainly like, you know, she's always been like a witness kind of energy. Like, she's been the eyewitness to true crimes and stuff. Sometimes people get stabbed on the bus and was the person on the news talking about, like she just is a witness kind of thing. And it's always there, like, you know, enter a little mind record. She's super smart. She's really nice. I never had a problem with her. I actually met her last year on Instagram. She started just sending me messages,
like these voice messages. She likes to talk through voice messages. And do you think that maybe she takes it a little too far? Because I've heard some like horrible things about her, like saying that she's going to pay somebody to rape a woman. I mean, I think some of that stuff, she's sad. Right. Like, you know, she gets super triggered and then she can, She's sad. you know, whatever energy you meet her with, she'll come back at it with you.
And so it's like, even like, you know, people, that's how she's kind of easily manipulatable by other people, which kind of is disturbing to me because it's like, they'll just be nice to her. It kind of reminds me of me. They're nice to her. Even if their history doesn't care, she's like, oh, I like it. And she wants to get back into the friendship. And she's like, it's just kind of like so innocent, like kind of like, I feel like sometimes in the friendships.
And then it's like, I just see them trying to hypnotize her or like, you know, just talk to her, oh, you're going to do this or weaponize her. And I understand her pain a little bit. So do you think people weaponize her and use her to go after other people on here like they do with like Blackout Andy? I mean, oh, see, I don't know that the Blackout Andy history, he was in my chat tonight saying horrible things, but I didn't, I do know, like, you know,
she wanted to be friends with Vida and she was in this carniverse thing and everything. And then, you know, and different people just turned on her. And then she's dealing with the AM person. I don't even say that person's name, but she's dealing with her. And that person's a really, really tricky manipulator. And I see that person manipulating people like in this like kind of trying to do the puppeteer. It's really obvious to me.
I don't know if I can explain it to them how it is, but she just talks to like this hypnotic voice giving commands. And that's why I see that. Well, I see that too. I see a lot of women particularly are afraid of that person that you're talking about. Like they tend to like bow down to her, even though she said horrible things about their family. And they go after other people for lesser offenses, but they let her kind of slide because they're afraid of her.
I think it's you. The only thing I'm afraid of her, and I was never afraid of her. I did really like her. And it's like, we didn't have any problems with first three months. Then out of nowhere, like, you know, then she turned on me for another three months to be where she was like going at me and stuff. And then we reconciled that I was happy as could be. And it was like, and she does like, you know, she's a very generous person, you know. Yeah, but do you think she uses the money
to kind of get close to people on here? Who maybe she would like? I think it could be like a love bombing thing because she's trying to turn it around on me and said, I manipulated it out of her. She always would surprise me or, And I never did. and I have every message where I'm saying, thank you, thank you. Like, I appreciate that. Like, I love it. She has things delivered to my door, even my tripod I have here, my microphone, and things like that.
Yeah, she bought like your cat, some like litter boxes and stuff. It was really nice to you in the beginning. But we met, we met for dinner, and then she brought the litter box dinner, like a little thing of litter and stuff. And she brought, she's like, have anything in one of the menu and have whatever you want to drink. And we just had a fun time. And she took me to Hollywood the next day. I'm a little shy in person. I fell asleep in the car, but it's like, it turned into like, she's like, oh, he's just like,
he is on the stream to like, now it's like, I'm some like mastermind that's been washing her for years and planning all this. And she's the one that approached me. I mean, it's, I mean, it's crazy. Every, she's so, she's a projectionist. She's very manipulative. And she, she picks people that I think she feels are vulnerable and that she can kind of use to her advantage until she gets bored and she turns on them. At least that's what I see, what she did with you. She started with a vulnerable spot.
You need somebody like there as a friend and she kind of used that against you later on. And I, and I seem vulnerable and I seem weak. And I was, you know, like, like, you know, we bond and bond over, her father passed away like a year after a year after mine did. And so, and I was like, so it was just like, you know, I'm still grieving, you know, and, and so we kind of bond over that. But then she turned around after, after all this,
she's like, well, she should get advantage of me. Like she said, I think advantage of her because she was in a grieving state. I was, I'm in a grieving state too. You know, it's like, and I never took advantage of her or anything, but now it's like, I mean, it's getting so ridiculous. I'm a werewolf. I'm a demon. I'm a mermaid. I'm a vampire. But he's not cool though. Like, no, we know that you're neither of those things. You're just a mythical like creature. I know that.
I mean, she's in a situation of full moon and stuff. I mean, she's, but it's like, it's still like people like will play along with it a little bit. And it's like, and then she thinks the, the thing is about her is that she thought I was because I was a weak state. She thought I was weak. Now it's her mistake because I'm not weak. And I am smart and I will fight back. And I will lay out in detail every single strategy.
She has a manipulation that I'll teach everybody about. I mean, it's like, people know what she's about, but you have to understand this community. So normalize such toxic behavior. They just kind of tolerate her because she's been around for so long and people are just kind of used to her. They tolerate her. She gets okay numbers in her chat, but no one's talking in her chat really. I mean, she's like, either they still hide them all or they're afraid or, or they hate her. You know, I mean, it's like,
and she's developed a lot of enemies because when you just turn on people for no reason and then start slandering them. And I mean, I think I'm going to get the worst of anybody that I've seen. Even Zeta, like, she hated it and stuff and says, you know, get a gun and stuff. She says that, you know, I'm the reason her channel went down and then it's like, she's, and she's like, and she says, I'm this, I played the listen Linda video, you know,
that kids like listen Linda, listen Linda. I played that. She's like, that makes me a pedophile. I played that. I know, that's disgusting. I mean, I don't think you're a PDF. I think that that gets thrown around way too much in this community. There's definitely PDFs in this community, but you're not one of them. So, Yeah, sort of, especially by her, she likes to throw that around a lot. She even had like the
Rubenpedo.com website for a while. Oh, she called me a pedo too. Like she said I was trying to sex traffic BP from Canada. I remember when everyone was a sex trafficker and then she called me a spiritual trafficker instead of the sex trafficker. I was like, okay, well, it's like a little better, but not really. And then it's like, then I turn into like, you know, demon possessed. I mean, it's very dehumanizing in a way because she doesn't even say my name.
She'll call me the son of my mom's name or she'll call me psyche racks or she'll call me psycho psyche or I mean, it has to be anything but my real name. Yeah. Why do you think you have such a bad reputation? Because I've seen people do worse things than you. Why do you think a lot of people seem to kind of say that you're not a good person? I think, okay, well, because, you know,
be the turn on me, like a lot of people turn on me because be the brought me in the community and brought me a lot of people in my chat and stuff. She kind of used my chat like as a little like overflow from hers or her after party for hers. And like she's kind of like, you know, so trouble would happen on mine. I get the form bombs. I get the fucking like bad thing. And so we just kind of feel a little pressure off of her. Why did it go bad?
It's because I'm actually nice. I'm a nice person. I have like a good heart and I'm loving and I think that like a lot of people are just hateful, they don't like that and they don't like it's, you know how everyone hated Jesus because not everyone, but like a lot of people hated Jesus because he had a message of love. Kind of reminds me a little bit of me, not, I'm not saying I'm a Jesus,
but I'm saying I understand that scapegoating energy that that crowd's going to have. And then it turns into like, you know, people keep repeating something, animal abuser, animal abuser, animal abuser, he's just over and over and people see that and they're like, they believe it. But a lot of people said that you cut a mystery. I don't know because I don't, I didn't watch all your videos on that. I don't miss, I don't miss my animals. The thing is, they were mad that I have a cat door
and I let my cats out and they said, I was killing my cats because there's coyotes that occasionally they'll walk around and one coyote did do one of my cats before I even started the show. But I got a lot of cats and I've also, they say I had nine cats. I had four cats and then one of them had kittens and so I had nine cats overnight, right? And then, would they be happy if I had nine cats right now? Then they'd say, oh, look at that disgusting,
look how all these cats he has. I mean, look at, I mean, I got, I did a tarot reading for a lady there and I just sent me a $200 tip. Like, you know, I didn't charge her, she just sent me a $200 tip. The first thing I bought at Apeco is like, you know, I got like a new litter box with this fancy like, you know, like the fancy like, you know, litter and stuff. I mean, I bought some for my cat. It's been $130 on the $200 within like 10 minutes on my cat.
And that's like, and so it's just like, I don't know what, they put all these things on me. Also, they're trying to say, oh, I'm just this rich kid. I'm from just this trust fund baby and all this stuff. Like nobody knows anything about it. And I've been so doxxed. I mean, I'm not going to add you to the panel, dude. Well, he just laughed. It's if you tried to porn bomb me, but nice try, dude. I don't know what kind of butthole he was showing me, but it was disgusting.
Yeah. So yeah, I don't know. It's over a hundred porn bomb. I just got re-monetized today, Victoria. So it's like on a celebratory day. I was demonetized for a couple of months. Well, my strikes. I have to ask you though, I think the biggest issue and not just the cats was because of Brandon Q. A lot of people are like, why are you platforming this guy? He's a horrible person.
He's in appropriate with the multiple young girls He's a PDF. who are underage here. Okay. Hey, Matt. Okay. How are you? So here's what happened with Brandon. Brandon started coming around to my chat. I think I recognize him from, because I'm in a Lisa's like Kermit and friends and he was once in a Lisa Madonna stuff. So I was kind of familiar with his name and stuff. I have respect for streamers.
He came in in a victim mentality and I'm like, you know, kind of a sucker for like a sad story, I guess. But it's like, you know, everyone was saying this, but a lot of my enemies were saying, Here's the evidence. Oh, here's the evidence. And I was getting a hundred videos and I just, I think some of them he's just like jerking off in them or I didn't really see anything by the underage so much. So I thought it was kind of like just bullying.
And I still, but I wasn't going to like really pursue it. Then Alexandra started like got into it and she started saying, Oh, well, she's like, I forgive Brandon. He'll come on the show. She calls me one day to the show, come on panel and defend Brandon, blow it up. And, and then it was like that. And then, so I did it. And then it's, but then Brandon was started to come on my show on my every day and he'd be like, kind of like putting down my music,
you know, and just being rude and like, you know, just like, I don't know, don't do this, don't do this, you should do this. And I don't like being told what to do. That's why I pretty much had him on the first but I hate being told what to do. I probably had an oppositional defiance disorder or something like that. But we started being rude. And then we got in a fight one day over, like, you know, the Sandy Hook or something. And I like, you know, kicked him off the show. He ran over to Alex. He had an interview with him and I and X.
And they're like, oh, we hate psyche. And Alex was just like, Do you think that Alex set you up and deliberately kind of brought him to your- She knew everything about him. I didn't know anything about him. She hadn't, she knew his history. And she had gone against him and he had threatened them and hurt himself before. But he turned on her. That's why she got mad at me.
Like, she dumped me as a friend the last time in April, May, June. It was in April. You know, we made up in April, and in June or something like that, she dumped me as a friend. She said it was because I set her up with Brandon. But this is the woman that likes to project everything that she does. She'll say I do. I mean, it's everything. And so, I mean, I have so many examples.
But yeah. So I feel like she kind of did because she made it a bigger deal. And then she like used it to like, you know, kind of throw me away. And she still, she had him on her show last time for over an hour. Yeah, I know, she did. That's what Matt told me. She's like, at least one word. Yeah. I'm not adding to Philistine. I'm not adding you, bro. I don't know what that PFP is. And I'm not risking it. Sorry. Change your profile pic. And I might add you.
Yeah. So, but I think, do you think you're going to be able to recover? Because you used to get some really good numbers. You, you've been. Well, I'm getting good numbers again. The second build, I noticed that you're starting I mean. to get better. But do you think you can be able to get the stink of Brandon Q off of you? And you know, that other woman. Because he also, now he's been saying like, oh, he's saying I'm a pedophile. And I mean, I mean, I played his videos where he has like talking to 12,
between 12 and 14 year old girls on monkey apps. But to be fair, how could he have not known that? Because it's like out there like. I didn't know that she probably knew about. I didn't know. And I might have gotten the video, but then I got my own discord because. And so I had to sort of do this for it. And so when I actually was able to get in my old one, I found that video. And I was like, fuck. So it's like, you tell me nobody, none of your like mods were like,
Hey, this person is bad. Let me send you some videos. You know, I've been mid business sake. Because like a lot of people that were saying it, I are not really my friends or I don't trust. One person I should have listened to who got really mad at me really quickly. So there wasn't really much time to like talk about it or anything with Kate. Now Kate told me she's like, get him out of here. And then it's like, when I was like, you know, kind of like just like saying,
Oh, I'll let him in the chat or whatever. Then it's she started calling me predator protector We've got a big fight for a few months. or whatever. I did apologize to her on her show recently. Yeah. Brandon went after her kid. You know that, right? Well, I mean, yeah, and it's like, he says disgusting things about clumsies. He's like, I'm outside your daughter's window. I mean, he says such creepy things that I found afterward, right?
And it's like, and then, I mean, I think that's the worst. And not even just like the kids. I mean, the kids, of course, like, like that's like the worst thing to go after your kids. But even like after those families that aren't involved or people that are not had nothing to do with it, just to like turn them against somebody or spite somebody, that's like to me really wrong, like really wrong. And it happened to me. So I mean, of course I don't, and I know it happened to that person that did it to me, too.
And I didn't appreciate that. I told her, looking to your heart, I think about people in rule, and she's like, I don't think what the Bible to me is saying. What was it that kind of made you think, okay, I have to own up to the fact that I made a mistake and then you apologize to Kate for, you know, having him on your panel? I tried to apologize to her for a couple of months. And it was never like really received or just not the right time.
What's it being said, though? I mean, you were platforming a guy that was harassing her and her son. I mean, she has every right to be mad. I mean, I don't know what he, I mean, I saw, Sure. he put a picture of like little people big world up, and then that's not, it wasn't her own world. That's the matter, though, but it was a reference to a kid. But he does this stupid thing like, I mean, he's been putting me on his thumbnail saying, oh, here's pedophile site racks, like every day for the past week, and like saying pedophile, pedophile.
But he, he actually is. And it's like, I mean, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's just so mind blowing, being called that by like- Okay, hang on, Philistine. I'm going to add you. Let me see. You're added to the panel.
I am, you're added to the panel.
Hey, how's it going? Pretty good. You're not going to form bomb me, are you?
Do you know who this person is, uh, Psyche? I've never, I mean, I think, I think the voice is familiar. I think you might have something to do with kennel kickers or something, I'm not sure. Do you know who Psyche is? You're a fucking phony, Psyche. Like you. I never knew who the fuck you were. Oh, I know who this is. Who is that? Oh my God. It's Jadus. Oh, it's Jadus. Hey, Jadus. Let me add you again. Hi, Jadus. Hey, I've heard of Jadus.
I never knew who the fuck you were, until Bita called me. Why are you crying? Take off your mask, Jadus. So we can understand what you're saying. You know what to do. You can have a conversation. I'm not going to fight. You don't have to cry or like, you know, hide yourself. You're on my show before. There we go. Fuck you. Fuck you. Are you kidding me? Where's the mask? Where are you so upset about? Because I don't know who the fuck you are, you bitch.
Why are you crying? And you came up and you had Bita call me, call me off stream to come on your show, on your fucking stupid little live stream with a few fucking people. Hey, Captain Coke. Well, Jadus, you know who watches your streams? You're obsessed with me. You're obsessed with me.
You're obsessed with a little bit as a woman. You have no association with Alisa. Like, you had Bita call me because I'm associated with Alisa. You have no association with Alisa. Don't talk for the phone the other day. You have no idea. Oh, I didn't talk to her the other day. The impetus of this is that
Bita called me to fucking talk to you, to fucking to talk to you about Alisa because you do nothing about her. And you're just a fucking shit. And why the fuck do you have anything? How do you have anything to do with Alisa? Are you crying? What's wrong? Are you crazy? Don't fucking try to gas like me. Okay.
Just fucking, like, you don't know anything. He's like that. Okay, Jadus, Jadus. Okay, let's be fair. So you're upset with him. You're like, I know what the fuck is going on. You're getting really aggressive. Jadus, you're being aggressive. Okay, just explain what exactly why you're upset with him. What is, what was the main reason why you don't like him?
Because Bita had me, had me on the phone with this guy who I never knew, who I don't know, who I don't know from a fucking can of paint. You know, I don't know who you are. Right. I know. I don't know who the fuck you are. Are you trying to give me a psychic reading? I'm not trying to. No, you try to, you gave me, you try to give me a psychic reading. Okay.
I'm not, I'm a therapist. Bitch, no, no, shut the fuck up. You try to give me a psychic reading. You don't know what to fuck down. You gotta calm down. Jadus, you gotta calm down. I want to, my counter's fucking, that's you, motherfucker. You don't know my shit. Jadus, calm down. You're going to go up on a fucking psychic reading. Jadus, calm down. You're gonna fucking burn the hell. You're gonna burn the hell, you fucking. What is this? Jadus. You fucking faggot.
You're gay. Jadus, calm down, dude. You're going way too far. Yeah, I know that. You need to relax, okay? You're gonna end up having like a heart attack. Just relax. Okay, it's not a big deal. So, he just didn't want to talk to you, psychic. He felt like he was forced to talk to you. That's the reason why he's up for us. I said, Vita, hey, do you know Jadus? And she, I mean, or she, because she mentioned. Yeah, yeah.
Because you're cloud chasing off of Elisa. You're cloud chasing anybody who is involved with Elisa.
Like, I've never heard of you. I've never heard of you. For fucking, like, fired you as a producer. I just didn't have your chatter. Fired me. Okay, so I was gay. So, you know, that was getting paid. Well, I mean, I know how she pays. She's like, you know, I'm gonna move over, yeah. I was getting paid 25% of donations. That's why she doesn't like me to be on live stream.
Because anytime I'm on live stream, I have to be paid 25%. Suffice it to say, you don't fucking know anything. You stupid little fucking bitch. Go fucking to hell. Like, you're a killer fucking cat. I don't know what the fuck you're on, you little bitch. Like, you know, you're a fucking little weird
What are these weird obsessed fucking people? Hey, Janice, what do you have, what do you have, what do you have Peppie's text messages? What do you, what do you have a collection of those? What? What do you have Peppie's text messages?
Tell me more. You pay your phone bill and you have your text. Tell me more, tell me more. Yeah, I know a lot of shit. Yes, I'm worried about you. You know a lot of shit, yeah. Just calm down, give me. Then tell me. I just told you. Tell me. You pay your text messages, private text messages because you pay your phone bill.
Okay, there's, okay. Private text messages and paying phone bill. Okay, what do you want to go into first? You're going to respond however you want. Could you pay for Pepp's phone bill or not? That's what he wants to know. Yeah, I did. Okay, how long did you pay for it, Janice? Was it for like over a year?
You want to come here like wild out on me? I mean, it's like, I have a nice first shot. No, he feels like that. Fuck you, you fucking bitch. You fucking fuck it, nigga. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Janice, I'm going to kick you if you say more racist shit. You can talk to him. Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger. Okay, okay, bye, bye, bye. Oh my god.
He's going crazy. He's like the Joker. I know he is, dude. Other people try to think they're the Joker. Bye, Janice, bye. Geez. Okay, this is ridiculous, guys. What do you want to know? This is insane. Janice, don't take that later. No, you're a manipulative fuck. You're not, Janice. You're a manipulative fuck. You're not a manipulative fuck, right?
I'm not. I mean, I have to, I defend myself, but it's like you have to see what I, who I'm contending with. You, Janice, you have no reason to be upset with Psyche just because you talked to him one time. You weren't forced to. Nobody held you hostage. If you didn't want to talk to him, you could have easily ended the call and it would have been simple as that. So you have no one to blame but yourself, you know. And as for Elisa,
Elisa is allowed to talk to whoever she wants to. You know, if she wanted to get in contact with Psyche, that's up to her. You are not her spokesperson. You are not her dad. So I don't know why you're being so protective as if she can't defend herself. I'm sure she can handle her own. She doesn't need you to come on here and act unhinged and fucked up. So, okay.
That was pretty much my experience. I just really, you know, I didn't go up there to talk to Janice. I didn't even know, I didn't hear the part where he was talking to her in the chat. I just went up, hey Victoria, I hope you don't mind. That was on rumble. I just ended up playing that my appearance last night. Thank you for having me on. Hey, on track, you're looking a little bit frazzled today on trackable. You're doing that. No, I'm just,
I'm not unfrazzled. I put my hair forward. Okay. Pompom Cheerio. Speaking of Joker, I mean, Mr. Extend. You got to do a mobile stream, psych. I will. When I leave the house, I'll do my phone. I will do that. No, like a mobile podcast. Okay. I'll have to figure that out. I haven't done it yet. Hello, hello, hello.
How are you, Mr. Extendo? I'm back from Europe. How was your trip? Yeah. Tell us about Europe.
I'll tell you the highlights. Okay. I watched it. So he was walking around. Oh, he was walking around London and France. And every time you went inside the whorehouse, he would turn off the camera. So I'm not sure what went on. But it looks like he had a good time. France is very expensive, apparently. They have very, very expensive food. And he said he couldn't afford anything in the store.
Yeah, but I don't know what happened there. So, Jadis, he's threatened you multiple times. He's going to find you. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, that was a whole line. Yeah, I got to...
Yeah, I went to London in 2010. You did it all the way down. You did it all the way down. You said what? How'd you like that?
Oh, it was fun. I'm in London. But I tell you this.
London proper, like the London Bridge and all of that stuff. If you stay close to it, you get nothing late night. There's no...
Everybody evacuates London. And then you're just at like a hotel bar. And everything, it costs more. But even with it costing more, it's like you try to tip them and they're like, we don't do that shit around here.
But then again, you don't know what these coins are worth. It's like, hey, you toss a coin at somebody at a bar and they're like, we don't do that shit around here. And then I went to Amsterdam. Yeah.
And you can't smoke in that time at 2010. I don't know what it's like right now. But yeah, you could go to the place and they would sell you the bakeries and the smokables
and you could spend your time on their balcony. But you don't go and do it out in the street.
But at the same time, the coin value, again,
it's common with paper money over here.
But we ran into a dude and was like, hey, can you help me out? And we were like, well, can you help us out? Because we're tourists. And he's like, hey, we're looking for a pizza place. And he's like, oh, there's this pizza place around the corner.
And we gave him a coin. Turns out when we looked back at it, we both gave him coin. But that's like 40 euro? Yeah. So that's not like Hain and the homeless person a dollar.
And we went around and, hey, he was not lying. It was very good pizza. It was a kind of ping pong pizza. I think they have been Washington, D.C. at a different place. That's a good change. Hey, all I know is it was very good pizza. The thing about Europe is ice.
If you ask for a Coca-Cola, you're getting a Coca-Cola. And they're going to put it in a glass. They're going to open a bottle and they're going to put it in a glass. If you want ice, you're probably going to pay five more euro if you want ice. I don't like ice.
The Coca-Cola there tastes so much better. It's in these recycled bottles that they have. The glass bottles. And it's like the best Coke. And it's just like just cold out of the bottle. Best tasting. I hate ice. It's all your teeth that get to it. It's like water's down the drink. I mean, I just don't like it very much. I understand.
But what was most important was this guy turned us around the corner. He actually gave us the name of a restaurant. And I'm not mad about not knowing what my coin was. I'm not mad about that. You gave me $80. You gave me $80 in coins.
My man was, he was happy and he set a place and then we went and we ate pizza. And that was delicious. So I'm not about, I'm not mad about that interaction. Okay. You know, some people they, and this is 2010.
So, you know, it's searching and finally be like, oh, I'm definitely going to go to this place or that place or the other place. It's like, hey, how about you just wander around? You know, Natalie, we have a try. Oh, we have Natalie here. She had a Natalie. Hello, thank you. Hello, I'm like a love. Hey, we've met before.
I love you. Oh, thank you. Oh, you're having a little drinky drink, Natalie. What do you have in Barca? No, I'm having a Patsy Morgan doll room. That's good stuff. To Morgan's. Oh, it's time to go.
Well, oh, you got that. Oh, you got a mixer and then a track was having. What was that a track? A beer is American beer. Now, American beers are disgusting. I mean, I have to say, I mean, I think America has the worst beers and the domestic beers. What do you think to Sparky's beer? It's not. What's it called? It's out. Have you heard of that?
I haven't heard of it. It's better than something I can't recall. I like Mexican beer better. But, you know, trackable likes an American watery brew. Hey, but they do have good craft beers in America. So Natalie does have a panel and she does stream. I have to say it. Natalie can. No, but I've got a strike on my main one. So I have to give mine. Okay.
Can you stream on it right now or you have to take a break to make sure you can recover from that? Because usually they just make you take like a week off. It's on my channel. I don't need to drop my link. Just search for Natalie before we do.
I was just, I just got my monetization back yesterday. And so pretty exciting. Well, my, my, my YouTube experience is good with you guys. But I've got some right nasty pasties obsessed with me. You know what I mean? I love you so much. Is this what they may send? Is Mason calling you lately? No, it's not Mason.
It's just one more. I need a boy. It's like, it's actually in the end of the thing. He's actually in view? Well, he's found. No, not him. Oh. Oh, this hidey avoid person keeps backchaining me. Well. She's obsessed with me and she, she gets a lot of bully guidance.
And they all like bullying me. People are just so. I'm, I'm strong enough, you know. Yeah, you're strong. I'm cute to enjoy. Did you say you're a stroganoff? Yes, she's a stroganoff. The beef stroganoff family. No, I'm strong enough. Oh, strong enough. I, I believe it.
I believe it. That's excuse me, intracable. I haven't got my new top teeth yet. Hey, for a wrestle, I would lose and you both would win. I will, I will always bring my, I will always bring my jokes with me. So unfortunately, I had to have my top teeth removed.
Intracable, do you know what two lesbians do when they're on their period? You're fine?
I have to go down on one and it'll look great. It's finger paint, finger paint. Okay, sorry. That's the only, that's the only thing. Ah, you're not, that's absolutely excuse me.
It's only a joke I know. I built my heart. I, it's not, it sticks in my mind for some reason. I, I, I don't think it works. I, I think, you know, I, I do understand the joke, but, um. It doesn't work. That's not even my joke. I mean, I sell it from like a lesbian joke book. Yeah, but, but somebody's coming. Somebody's coming out of there looking like a. They didn't tell it right. Intracable, do you know what I mean?
I, I think periods are absolutely disgusting periods. It's a no menstrual stock period. Hey, hey, you, you, I, I've definitely ate bloody pussy before. Oh my God. Yeah. I'm someone's told this same, same story, um, like in two days. I mean, are you, are people sick? Are you a bunch of vampires?
Are things that happen in the dark that are none of anybody else's business? Well, it's none of my business that it tastes like pennies. And how did I know that? And I never even had it. And, but I knew it tasted like pennies. I mean, before he said it, how did I know that?
I'm just saying. Oh, and it's horrifying. I'm an evil person. Right. I did because I was. And yeah, testicle cancer. It's only visual. Would you wish them a testicle cancer and that their balls would drop off?
Hey, hey, hey, what's, what's more horrifying? I'm an evil, I'm an evil-wishing woman apparently. Well, hey, hey, what's more, what's more horrifying? The, the taste of blood or knowing that like you got some pussy tonight? Well, untrackable. What if somebody was castrated and then they were like bleeding from there?
And would you eat that or that would, or that be too gay? There's blood. It's, it's pretty great. I mean, what, what was your aim for the evening? Well, you wouldn't turn into a werewolf, but I think that would, that would do it. I hope you wash your bed before you, you know. Oh, that's why it's red.
No, that, that was, that was one of the, if anything, that horrifying was, once we got done, like I was covered in blood from my mouth, my crotch. And I was like, hey, I'm, I'm going to go wash up.
And, and her roommate like decided at that time to like come out into the hallway and it's like, bitch get out of my way. I got to, I just told her, you're like, no, I just ate a, ate a pussy. Yeah. But I was covered from a snout, a snout to tout.
And, you know, your own business, bitch. And then I went into the bathroom and I, I cleansed myself and, and then we snuck it. Were you on the shower? Yeah. Are you looking out for yourself for the, for the iron?
Oh no, I, I, I soaked in water, but then I come back and I was like, hey, now, now, now we can, now we can sleep together if you know what I mean. Now we can actually sleep together because. Are the sheets all, all disgusting too? You have to wash them before you go to bed. I mean, they're covered in blood. Yep. Okay, I'm so.
If, if you're hurt by that, then, then you're hurt by that. I, I wasn't hurt by that. I wasn't hurt by it. I was making this sleep joke. I'm trying to hurt your feeling. I'm so sorry.
So you're scaring the, you're scaring the chat on track. So do you want to hear the attractable song Natalie? I have a song I made on trackable. Yeah, go on, man. Yeah. Okay, comparison to Bigfoot. We'll love this one. And it has a lot of his beard makes a cameo in this. Okay, here we go. So this is the download. Okay, so it should be right. It just gets longer and longer and longer. Oh, hi, Lenore. Hi baby. So here it is. Here you go.
You said? Oh my God. Psyche. I had a big, I worked on a holiday ride. I was a big massive McCoy. I think it was a McCoy pirate on, placed on my fucking shoulder. Yeah, it was, it was placed on my shoulder. And it was, it was a big beast where it was a mess.
It was, I felt a bit creeped out at first. So I'm like, well, I'm good. I don't want to look it. I don't want to say where I look at it. Can't see past my eyeball. So big clips is taking over for like the sex pests. So people can't call it to me anymore because. I'm just going to say basically nervous was a pirate because it could clean cut off my eye. Yeah. They had to tell me finish. Okay.
Well, here's, listen to this. You'll love this because there might be a bird in I think it's Lisa. this song. You record. This is the track of the song. And it's about Bigfoot and the track. Cried to find him in the woods one night. Big boots, big beard. Gone before daylight.
He's untrackable off every map. Bigfoot saw him and said, who's that chap? Footprints so large they block the trail. His beard has its own zip code and mail. Birds build nest when he falls asleep. Park Rangers whisper, don't wake that beast. A satellite caught him cooking beans.
Then lost the signal behind his beard on screen. Untrackable, impossible to find. Bigfoot's three steps behind. Army cook with a mystery stew. Nobody knows what he put in the brew. Untrackable, covered in hair. His beard enters rooms before he gets there.
He joined the army and became the cook. One taste of breakfast made the sergeant look. Is this an armlet or camouflage pace? He said that information is classified. Just taste. His biscuits were strong enough to stop a tank. The coffee stood up and marched through the ranks. He burned boiling water.
Nobody knows how then seasoned the smoke and served it as chow. Untrackable, impossible to find. Bigfoot's three steps behind. Army cook with a mystery stew. Nobody knows what he put in the brew. Untrackable, covered in hair. His beard enters rooms before he gets there.
Bigfoot called a man, teach me your ways. I've been hiding out here for thousands of days. He said, grow your beard and destroy every track. Serve powdered eggs. No one's coming back. Thermal cameras failed when he walked through the snow. They only caught a beard with two boots below. Last seen grilling somewhere off grid.
The army denies everything that he did. Untrackable, king of the trees. With tactical bacon and government cheese. Big beard blowing like a flag in the air. Half army cook and half grizzly bear. Untrackable legend of the night. If the food doesn't get you, the beard just mites.
Natalie getting a little hot and bothered there. Natalie, you're attracted? Yeah, I was just doing a little dumb. You're just dancing to that. Okay, you're sitting though. You need to make a dance called the Bigfoot Untrackable and you need to teach it to everybody. Can you design that dance for us? It can be one of the cool classics. Yeah.
You can make bigger steps. What are the many ways to do it? Mesa, I don't know. He was around recently a few days ago. He's not a bad guy. He's a pussycat. Yeah, he's not a bad guy. I even modded him. But I made sure I did a mod thing that is. So he didn't hide things that it is. He is a pussycat though. He's like homeless. Yeah, I like Mesa.
I like Mesa. I think he got a new shirt this year. Remember last year he had that same shirt every day? And then the thing that is, another people promised they'd give him a shirt and you wanted one but then he wouldn't give his address because he's afraid that... I just came back yesterday. It's over midnight, so yesterday.
From Lanzarote, thank you. I went to Lanzarote. It's lovely there. Oh, look. Wow. How was that? I was lovely, really hot. Hot better. I'll go a bit of a ton on my chest. You got a tan? We've all been to England on track. It was that he went to London.
Joker just got back from London in France. And then I went several years ago too. 26 years ago. So cool. It's a beautiful island. Cool. Yeah. It's the only non-tropical island that I've ever visited. Yeah, we did the...
We did a Chelsea game.
So we got to go to a professional football game. That was awesome.
And then...
What did we do? We did the underground. So they talked about the history of the London Bridge.
Wow. Did it fall down? I heard it fell down. The London Bridge was one of those things where it was like, it came up and it came down. And it came up and it came down. And it's like they destroyed it themselves to protect themselves. It's like, hey, destroy the bridge so they can't come over here. That happened.
But you go through the experience and then they go through like a haunted type of thing
where it's like, hey, there's so many bodies in that river. That they had to make it like a haunted run-through of it. And it's like, once you go through the history and then they're like,
if you went further, it's a theme park. That's what it is. It's a walkthrough, it's a haunted house. How many volcanoes is there in the world? How many volcanoes are there in the world?
I'm not sure. Yeah. I'm not sure how many are there. Oh God, if I had to guess, I'd say about 13. No, way more than that. Hundreds? A little like spread out on these volcanoes. Well, there's a lot in Hawaii, I know. Aren't there a bunch in Hawaii? There's one go up for something in Hawaii. There was a...
Mount Pesuvius.
Well, that's my lucky number. 13 is my lucky number. Well, the number 13 is also the letter M. So, Mexicans love it too. M stands for Mexican. Oh my, I'm so cold about my M stands, but I'm fine. And I love Mexicans. You do? Are you married? I do. No.
Okay. You just love Mexicans. Why don't you say, do you like the Mariachi music that they come to the table when you're having your chips and salsa and margarita? Hey, there would be no Mariachi without chips and salsa.
It's like, hey, you're going to have Mariachi with artichoke and guacamole? And pita bread? No, you get chips and salsa, and then they come and they sing to you. Come on, man.
I wouldn't know I've never met a Mexican local. You haven't met a Mexican? Well, come to California, there's a lot of them. You've never, never in your life, you met a Mexican.
And to be honest, I wouldn't like to fly as far as to America from England or Mexico.
Even being American, I became very good friends with a British man. And he married a Polish woman, but no marks against him. My friend was living his life.
And they were both American at a time, and then they moved on. So fuck these labels. Fuck them. These labels mean nothing. Spend your time, get to know who you know. I don't know what to tell you. Judge who you want to judge, that's on you. Right. As long as you're not like an actual judge.
But no. Yeah, we can judge, but it's just like we can't enforce our judgments on others. That's what I think. You know, it's like, we can judge and have our opinion about anything we want, but we can't say, okay, and unless we are an actual judge or like an arbiter of some kind, right, I think some people want to push their judgments on people instead of living that live
kind of like attitude. That's kind of where it comes down to it. It's like, hey, I can judge you as maybe not good for me. But what is the sentence that I can lay down the only and please hear me when I say this,
the only sentence is that you and I will spend zero time together. That's your sentence. But who's going to enforce that? Because if I say I'm not going to spend any more time with Psyche. You're not thinking about restraining or against me or I'll be over next week.
There's only two people that get to say that. I can say I'm not going to come here anymore. Or you can say you are not going to come here anymore. And in this faction, your voice matters more than mine.
Because if I say, hey, I'm not going to come here anymore, but then I come back, right? But if you say, but if you as Psyche say, you're not going to come back, well, that's on you. Right. These are all the beautiful technicalities of life in the legal system. I mean, well, you know what? You're always welcome over here on track.
Well, I would never get restraining or against you unless, you know, you got violent with me. Well, I know you guys haven't followed me. But you have a hard time keeping up with you. You keep hiding your footprints. But earlier this evening, I mentioned the word forgiveness.
And it's a very tough word. Why? I think it's not hard to forgive people because it's like really like you can't give anybody anything off of themselves. You can only forgive other people that's taking the load off of yourself. Right.
However, however, it's like when somebody hurts you,
if you forgive yourself, you may just allow them to hurt you again because that is that is the level of forgiveness. I'm not saying you have to. I'm not saying that that's what that is about. Well, it's like, you know, oh, everything's back to normal.
It can mean like, you know, I wish you the best and, you know, I love you from afar. That kind of thing. Not like we have to be best best friends. Hey, forgiveness doesn't take things back. Right. It's just, hey, I'm willing to let you do this again. No, I mean, I just I just agree with that because it's like it's more like,
oh, maybe you're being you're right in a certain way. Right. We're just like, oh, oh, yeah, technically, yeah, you could put yourself in position of doing it again. But there's many cases where someone's forgiven where it's like, not very likely. Like, for example, someone like, you know, it's like a drunk driver kills one of your family members. You know, and then you forgive them and they're in prison and stuff.
I mean, they're not going to do it again. You know, I mean, it's like, you know, that's going to be one of the hardest people. I mean, but based off of what you said, it's like, hey, you got the maximum sentence. You've got life in prison for, you know, for that.
For me to stop paying attention to the media and stop using my lost one as a tool. Yeah. And to stop using you and to stop bringing your name up. It's like, hey, I forgive you. What is what is lost?
What is lost is lost. And now I must move on. So, you know, enjoy your life in prison. I will now move on. That's not very nice. That's not very graceful acceptance of forgiveness. It's like, you know, they say, oh, have fun in jail. I mean, it's like, they know that.
I mean, they know they're, I mean, it's like, and I think about it was an accident or not. It's like, how hard is it to forgive accidents, even though it's like, you know, the worst thing is like, we're basically these victims of chance of every kind, you know, in this world, right? And it's a lot of weird things happening. So, you know, I don't know. There is, there is a higher judge.
There is a higher judge and the criminal courts will, you know, take their part in it. But if I let go of you, you know, the court's going to do what the court's going to do. But if I let go of you and I move on with my life.
That does not remember, that does not, you know, forget, does not forget my lost one. It just means I'm not, I'm not going to hold on to you. You will do whatever it's necessary for you out there.
I will hold on to my lost one. You know, there's going to be a plaque on the wall, whatever, whatever people do. You know, these things occur when it, when it happens, seemingly unjustly. But I'm not, I'm not going to forget my loved one.
But, but to hang on to you. It's like, every morning, hanging on to this emotion about somebody, like this emotion, they bring up in you and just like basically forgiving it allows you not to have to feel that emotion every time you think about them, you know, it's like, hey,
you, you, you, you caused a violation upon my family and it has now become a dedication of my life to take your life. So how, how are we going to go about this? You're probably safer in prison. So we're, we're going to do this thing where, you know,
I mean, this is not forgiveness what you're saying. You're saying, okay, well, as opposed to kill them, you know, they'll be in prison. I mean, it's not, that's not, I don't mean that the spirit of forgiveness, the spirit of forgiveness is kind of like letting go of behavior and the, and a hate in us that clinging on to, to another person for. Oh, oh, no. Oh, no.
Without forgiveness, it is, I must, I must take retribution. So I have to talk to your cellmate. I have to know who you're around.
I have to know when you get out because um, whoever is going to pick you up is going to be driving a car bomb. And then, then, then we will settle this because it will never be done until you are done.
You see how one thing leads to another leads to another leads to another and another and another. You're saying it's the richest chain of events, it's like.
Oh, you know, yes, they like it. Oh, we have, I forgot what it was called now. We went into this turbulence because we went to a wind class on the plane yesterday. That was so afraid. You went on a plane? Do you like the window seat or do you like the aisle? Oh my gosh. Um, I like the middle. Oh my God, that's the worst one.
It's crammed in everything. I like, I like the middle. It's like I'm going to hold, I'm going to hold ten years and ten long times. When the service, I'm afraid. I can please my eyes and pray.
That's what I'm doing when we get, when we switched into this wind class service yesterday and I was like. I was on a 12 hour flight. I was terrified. A 12 hour flight and the first moment that I felt like I had to use the restroom.
I got up and I used the restroom and I, I, I did not go back to my seat because I was in the middle of five and I stood there and I watched two movies
standing and then I was tired enough to bother those people like, hey, I got to get back to my seat. And, uh, and then once I got back to my seat, I, I slept for the rest of the way. Yeah. You know what? I don't believe in atheism.
I don't like, let me explain why. When we all get afraid, we're always saying, I don't know if everybody does this. You know, when you're terrified, like if you're going out and glide or something, like that, maybe you play charge, you see, everybody always tells you, God don't know what you're saying. Please keep me safe. I'm scared.
Or does not everybody do that? So I keep. Yeah, just keep praying. Yeah. What is the right way to pray though? Is there no right way to pray? Well, I mean, I believe it's just a kind of a meditation thing or like connecting to your the highest part of you or even outside of you, you know, it's just, it's an attention. It's a, it's a wish a little bit.
It's a, it's a, uh, it's a showing. When I pray, for example, I do it in my head. Like I'm talking up there and I'm like, I'm talking to Jesus in there. You know what I mean?
Not out loud, but like in my head. Yeah. Or you actually are talking, you're talking to them. Do you hear them talk back? No, it's always a bit confusing. It is confusing because we have, I think we might have a lot of different aspects of our brain that are different voices sometimes.
I know Jesus is really kind though. Like it's like I lent on him and said, look, I'm afraid. Can you please make me feel safe or protect me in this servant? I'm sure he wouldn't deny me. Well, no, he was very loving. Yeah.
You know, at a message of love. I mean, I like Jesus's message. I mean, it was even miserable to demons sometimes. Like demons said, please do not punish us too early, Jesus. Can you send us into the pigs? Yeah. Jesus was quite soft on men as well.
Yeah. Jesus would send the spirits into these pigs and then they think they chase the pigs off of cliffs and stuff like that or they kill them or something. What happens to the spirits? Like the spirits don't die. Right. I mean, this like they, I mean, they just, I guess are reincarnated or go to hell or whatever. I mean, it depends on what. I don't really believe in hell though.
So if there's no hell, where do they go? They go to the underworld.
I don't know if they're in the underworld though because, you know, in the Bible it says that we go to the grave. And they call it sheol. She's called sheol. Yeah. That's what the Jewish think as well. Are you for Jewish, Sally? No. I don't know. I'm part of Gypsy.
Well, Gypsies could be related to Jews. Yeah, I think Gypsy comes from the word Egyptian. So, you know, what's the, the, the hybris or the, or something like that? Well, you see a lot of Gypsies, I mean, a lot of Jews did integrate with Gypsies. How about the house of, the house of a...
It could be like 12 Jews and 14 Jews. Like, like the royal family? Are they, they're part, aren't they part of the broth child? Yeah. Yeah, they are.
So, so Queen Elizabeth is dead. Like, let's see, Queen Charles is, is King Charles with that, with that Camilla Parker-Bolstha? Well, apparently, the Queen at Christmas, she used to talk about Jesus a lot when his, his son, she didn't want him to be King, didn't she? The Queen's apartment.
He talked about, he talked about Ramadan or something.
Jesus is like, supposedly King and then it's like, but they're, their own royal, royal family and they have a lot of gold too, don't they? Have you seen the gold underground that they have in England? Yeah, I was watching a programme, so I could, you know, ambiline with Church of England, one who got red chopped up. Ambiline was Church of England.
Wow, the Church of CSU, good old COE, was that started by Henry VIII, did he start the Church of England? They accused her of being a witch, ambiline, that's what Church of England said to be witch Henry VIII. I don't know why everybody think Henry VIII was the insert one, he was a bastard.
Right, he had his wife's killed so he could remarry a different one, right? Yeah, and all he wanted was a son and, you know, the only son that he ever had died young age, although it's not nice, but, you know, when we die young age, there's God anyway, but, right, he died of syphilis because his dad was so mischievous,
shagging all these women, he ended up, he ended up, he finally had a son heir that was born and he died early of syphilis. Oh my God, it's terrible. And guess who became queen after that? Queen Mary. No, guess who became, what was his name?
Edward's son, that became King for a bit. King Charles, no, not King. No, I think he was one of the youngest kings in England. Okay. I forgot his name, but it was the youngest king and he died very young.
And guess that's when Queen Elizabeth afterwards became queen. And do you remember that, that nutty queen mum?
It was like, it was like. Oh yeah, she lived to a hundred and so, didn't she? Yeah, I remember when I was in England, like she was still around, she was in her 90s at that time, I think. Now I have a question for you. Do you recognize, I'm going to show you a picture of a woman. Just tell me if you've ever seen this woman before. She's British. She's from Surrey, England. Okay. So you recognize this woman? Her name is Mary.
There you go. Mary. There you go. Mary, quite contrary. Here she is.
Oh, is it coming up? No, no, no. There you go. There you go. Do you recognize her? It's not Queen Mary. No. Queen Mary. Her name is Mary. Mary Toft, T-O-F-T. I'll show you another picture where there's a clue about what she's about.
She actually was a little controversial and here's a scene depicting why.
I just died. There's an issue with my file. Oh my gosh. Let me see so I can, oh my goodness, the file. Yeah, she's dark. Well, I mean, it says she was from, England's woman from Goldalming Surrey. Yeah. Okay. She became a controversial figure for, I'll just read it to you.
She meant the subject of a considerable controversy when she tricked doctors into believing that she had given birth to rabbits. In 1726, she became pregnant. But following her reported fascination with the setting of a rabbit, she miscarried. The name she gave birth to various animal parts prompted the arrival of John Howard, a local surgeon, who investigated the matter.
He delivered several pieces of animal flesh and duly notified other prominent positions, which brought the attention of the attention of Medangala Andrei, surgeon to the royal household of King George I. Andrei concluded that Toft's case was genuine, but the king also sent surgeon Cyricius Ullars, who remained skeptical. By then quite famous, Toft was brought to London where she was studied in detail
under intense scrutiny, producing no rabbits. She can bested the hoax, which was put on by her family and subsequently prisoned for fraud. Wow. But yeah, she would like put, she would actually like, she would put animal parts in her vagina and then like, say she was getting birth and they pull out these animal parts and stuff like that. Can you imagine how disgusting that is? Terrible.
Hello? Oh, it's, um, it was Edward the Six. Edward the Six. It's Edward. Well, that's, that's, oh, I was thinking Prince Albert with the penis piercing his name after, right? Edward the Six was born from his third wife, Jane Seymour, on October 12, 1537.
Jane Seymour, she's a great actress. It was also known as the legitimate son, Henry Fitzroy, born to his mistress, Elizabeth, Elizabeth Blount. Oh, is it? They all, oh, yeah, two sons, the legitimate son and the, uh, obviously a married one.
Edward the Six was his son. So, are you, are you a fan of, um, Prince Harry or are you a fan of Prince, uh, William? Would you like that or?
You like both? I don't know, I don't know them.
I don't, I don't know them personally, so I don't know. I'm not keen on, well, there's controversy with Harry because he wore a Nazi costume for Halloween and that doesn't mean he's racist because he wore a Nazi costume for Halloween. What if he isn't?
People wear, people wear, people wear all sorts of costumes for Halloween. The Nazis, they're not supposed to do Nazi, you know, forms or like black face or like, you know, tasteless things like murder victims or things like that, but. Yeah, but he married a black woman and he got cast out of the old family when he married a black woman. He's very, very light-skinned.
She's almost, you know, she's, she's as bad as white as you can get without being white. I had rumours that his family is a bit racist, like, and they were saying, I've got to say, do you think the child was born dark?
Yeah, well, it's a, it's a, it's a whole, it's a whole mess, you know, it's a big mess. Look at what I have, I have a bagel sandwich today. Let me see, this is a farmhouse, let's call it farmhouse. They have farmhouses, you know, they can do the farmhouse, they can get the farmhouse sandwich. Let's get this one. Here we go.
Thought I had anything to do with y'all. I wouldn't consider myself a racist, I'm a racist. I don't mind. I do feel a bit like, if I walked into a church and there were nothing but different kind of people, I'd feel a bit shy and a bit nervous,
like a black person would if they walked into a church or a light or they would feel nervous because they are the odd one out. I don't think there's a lot of black, a lot of black people. I don't think that was racism on my part. I just think I was nervous because I was the odd one out.
I was worried in case we'd been the outcasts, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know all about outcasts. Yeah, well I'm always an outcast, I'm a bit of a black sheep, always have been. Yeah, me too. I would say myself scapegoated a lot, I've been projected onto.
Yeah. Lightning rod for controversy. Somebody's backstage, Mr. Exendo. Joker, I'm sorry. Yo, Joker. Are you Exendo? No. Sorry about that. Hi, Joker. Hello, is this, who is this? Who is this? Natalie, and then a trackable left, but yeah, that's Natalie. Hello, hi. Natalie, can you show your shirt without your nipples?
He wants to see your boobs. No, no. He said she has boobs. That's how they ram them inside you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm a man of professional class. I wouldn't want to see your boobs, maybe just. She just put her leg behind her head on my show as you get up and I start screaming. Starkey, you can't just say that, that's rude.
I'm not going to ram them in a show every hour on my nipple. Are you from England? Are you from England? Yeah. I went to London. I went to London, England. I was in Kensington.
He was just there. He's the person I just talked about that took the trip to London and France to look at underpants. Yeah, I'm not in London. I'm in London. What is your thoughts on London? Isn't it overpopulated? Not again. What? Is it expensive? Is it super expensive? I mean, it's very bougie, I notice. I like that.
It's cheaper in London when you buy a Coke in London. It's way cheaper in London. The supermarkets are all different. They're all small and stuff, they're all kind of different. So what do you do between Elizabeth? Natalie is, she's a mom. You're her mom.
I keep freezing the spremels. She's married to a dog. I mean, it's closer. Sorry, it may confuse you to keep freezing outside.
Yeah, I was just saying, you have your husband's a drummer and you're a mom. Yeah, yeah, I'm a mom. Oh, she's talked to angels and demons and things like that, too. It's pretty interesting. She has spiritual experience. Right? So, my brother just got engaged. Are you going to be the best man?
I'm going to be, I don't know, I don't know about the marriage yet, but I'm going to have a sister now. Awesome. That's why I was trying to join earlier, but I had to go talk to them about that. They surprised me when I was literally joining your stream. It's a nice surprise. Well, you know, in-laws can be, you know, really great allies and friends of the families with
and so hope that you guys get along and everything.
He's Guatemalan, but she only knows English. She's Guatemalan? Yeah. Yeah, you know, Guatemalan is a cool, cool. Oh, wow. She's not like, she doesn't speak Spanish. Yeah, I mean, it's like a lot of Guatemalan is very rural and stuff like that. But, uh, so what does that make me? Now I have a sister in law that's Guatemalan. Does that make me Mexican?
Um, maybe you're like, you know, Guatemalan in law. I don't know. I have a Chinese sister in law. I don't know if I'm my Chinese national or anything. Yeah, but yeah. Well, that's interesting. Yeah, she's a Chinese national. My sister in law, but she's perfect English is really smart. But yeah, China is a hard place to have a family.
You don't have one kid there, you know? I think that's the rule still and everyone's the son. No, I think it's changed now because the one that is underpopulated now in each other. Well, yeah, they have all these empty cities and stuff like that. But I mean, it's like four billion people's enough. But yeah, I don't know. They're very, they're very expecting Johnny, you know.
You have to have a medical examination before you do that. Really? I went to China, but I went kind of like on a more of a senior citizen tour with those friends, in front of my family and stuff. And it was very, very commercial a little bit. My, I know this side because my brother worked amazing as a teacher, a music teacher.
And he had to have blood tests and everything. Luckily, I got eight. But apparently if you had eight and you went to China, they'd send you back on a plane to the other country. Yeah. They do not let people with AIDS into their country.
It'd be hard to prove, but yeah, I mean, it's like there's blood tests. I mean, God, they don't want AIDS coming to the country ever, do they?
Who wants AIDS in their country, you know what I mean? Well, nobody, but they just don't want AIDS anymore anywhere except for Africa, you know.
I've been to China, actually, and it was... Did you know who caused the AIDS? It was actually the Red Cross.
Yeah, the Red Cross was run by the nuns, by the Vatican, right? They made a polio vaccine, which was made out of monkey fat. And they put it in the Africans and they told them to, oh, it's a sin to use Yeah.
condoms, like they use animal skin, which is sort of, they use something as a skin for a polio vaccine. The AIDS virus started and it was started because it's a monkey bit like this black person. So Africa's got it. And then this like black bisexual guy in Africa was a steward, like a stewardess of the airplane.
He like got it and then he started like flying around in the city with everybody over the world. That's his official story.
The Roman Catholic Church's polio is like, they tried to depopulate the Africans by giving them a polio vaccine because it's AIDS. Eugenics. It's a man made virus.
I mean, I have, it's controversial, but it's like, I do believe that there, I believe that. it wasn't a man made virus. And maybe just kick out the eight people because they didn't even care about it when it first came out. They thought it was a gay disease. So Reagan didn't really care about AIDS. The first term at least. Excuse me, legs, but I never abused my dog. It's an AI video, right?
And it's all choppy, choppy. And they put like an AI puppy dog. Just send Psyche the link. He'll see that.
He does a lot of editing and he'll watch it in private. And he'll know that it's not fucking true because, you know, you're a computer.
I'm a computer guy. Yeah.
I've never abused my dog ever. People make very realistic. AI is like, I mean, it's like, it's so scary, like, because it's like, it's hard to like, we're so used to believing everything you see. And then it's like, now we have like all this deception added in where it's like really easy. There's this principle and they had, they got a schoolbook, got a tape of him saying like the n-word and then come say about Jews and stuff.
And it was actually just a edited voice clip. It was a voice clip of just his voice, but they made it, it was an AI generated thing. Eventually they figured it out, but it was like right in the middle of that technology kind of just kind of being known about so. Really easy to hook up with people with that AI at home. I've never abused my dog. I love that comment for the only...
I believe it. Facts. Thank you. I swear on Jesus's life. Oh well, I don't, I'm not doing enough to believe, but I swear, I promise that I have never done that video in that video. It's not true. I don't know, there was this negative YouTube guy
who made the edited video saying I threw a bottle at my dog. I want to show you something funny here. Check this out right here. This is crazy. This is a little, this is a short little video.
Oh my god, I'll get a better version. Okay, so this is it. So this woman, her name is, what's her name? Okay, she's a comedian. Her name? Just check it out real quick. This is a comedian talking about, she makes a joke about Jesus and see what happens right here. There you go. Yeah, her name is, yeah, there she is right here.
All right, I don't care, but I want you to know, double-vaxxed, booster, flu shot, and I'm going to be honest, I have the shingle shot too. And I still get the, what, yes!
Traveled, went to Mexico twice, did shows, meet and greets, never got COVID, clearly. Jesus loves me the most. Seriously. I don't even know who you are.
I'm sorry about what. This is a part of the act? No, that's, she actually, she fell.
Hey, I'm real. That's real, this is real. I don't mean to brag, I don't care, but I want you to know, double-vaxxed, traveled, went to Mexico twice, did shows, meet and greets, never got COVID, clearly. Jesus loves me the most. Seriously. So nice. So nice.
Nice.
She really didn't fall, yeah. Well, I bet you she died. No, she, she, she was fine, she was fine. I have a, I also have this one. That's what happened to me, Mark, Jesus! You die! If you get mad. Um, where is the, um, yeah, there's like this interesting, um. Oh, yes, yes. There's a lot of negative stuff about me.
Jesus little soul that I used to get fucking clipped or whatever. And I'm joking around and yeah, whatever. Yeah. Never mock Jesus, chat. Don't mock Jesus. No, because you won't believe it. Don't mock anybody, mock, mock. Only mock, only mock the ones that are PDFs. Right. Just Q45, Q45.
I've never seen him in a year at all. Brain and Q? Yeah. Someone lose their brain and Q. He sounds like Kermit the Frog. You can't say a choked Jesus little soul if you want. He sounds like Kermit the Frog if you got hit with a five blood. Oh, oh, have you seen this video? Oh, it's fucking boring. If it had a baby, it would sound like Brain and Q. Here, here, I have another thing to show you. This is like.
I don't know what's going on. Right. Let me say I've seen little souls and things fucking funny. Excuse my friends. Swear it. Caught on live TV. From news anchors freezing mid-sentence to ghostly figures strolling through stadiums, these bizarre televised moments have left viewers wondering if we're all characters in some cosmic video game.
Strap in because today we're counting down real life live TV glitches that are so freaky and unexplained, they might just convince you we're living in a simulation. Imagine watching a live news report and suddenly the reporter's words turn into total gibberish. That's exactly what happened during a CBS Los Angeles broadcast from the 2011 Grammy Awards.
Viewers were stunned when reporter Serene Branson went from speaking normally to uttering a string of nonsensical sounds on live TV. Well, a very, very heavy, heavy diverted vertation tonight.
Visibly panicked as she realized something was wrong, leading many to fear that she was having a stroke on air. Paramedics rushed to examine her, and thankfully her vital signs were normal. It turned out Serene had suffered a complex migraine that mimicked stroke-like symptoms, causing sudden aphasia or speech impairment. In other words, her brain glitched, scrambling her speech.
The clip went viral as a real-life matrix moment, a healthy young reporter seemingly malfunctioning without warning. It was a scary sight, but also a relief when we learned it wasn't a true sea caught in lag. On the Today Show in 2012, co-host Savannah Guthrie and Matt Lauer finished a silly dance joking about leaving room for the Holy Ghost between dance partners.
That's when Al Roker, the beloved NBC weatherman, did the unthinkable. He stared directly into the camera, motionless with a goofy grin for a full 17 seconds. He didn't blink, didn't move a muscle. It was as if someone hit the pause button on Al Roker. Roker later explained that it was a bit of deadpan humor,
essentially a brain freeze challenge he did on purpose. The show's director egged him on to see how long he could hold the pose and Al committed to the bit. Even so, watching it back, many viewers felt a chill. The moment looked so uncanny that it's now a classic glitch in the matrix clip. During a live soccer match, a shadow person sprinted through the stands
and no one can agree if it was a glitch, a ghost, or just a camera trick. This incident happened at a stadium in the past Bolivia during a Fox Sports broadcast in 2014. In the footage, you see a dark human-shaped figure running rapidly across the lower tier seats, straight through the crowd, yet no one in the audience seems to react to it.
Viewers at home were creeped out. Was it a ghost caught on live TV? Rational explanations soon emerged, lighting snafu or video artifact, basically a technical glitch that made a real person's image smear across the screen. But that hasn't stopped wild theories. The clip went viral with some saying the stadium is haunted
or that we witnessed a matrix running program. Researchers Paula and Bridget Powers from Australia gave an interview that left viewers jaws on the floor. They were recounting a dramatic carjacking incident involving their mother, but it wasn't the story that stole the show, it was how they told it. The twins spoke in a mesmerizing stereo,
often saying the exact same words at the exact same time during the live interview. So we dropped everything and we went running out the front. We seen mum running out from the house up there. At times one twin would start a sentence and the other would finish it in perfect sync as if they shared one mind. The effect was so uncanny that the clip went viral
worldwide and even Jimmy Kimmel invited them on his show out of sheer fascination. The sisters themselves and extra fist online, a female reporter delivers the headlines when suddenly her eyes appear to glitch. During a blink, her eyes don't look human for a split second. They seem fixed and glazed over almost like dolls or a computer rendered image.
Experts explained that it was a rolling screen repaint artifact from the broadcast. Basically, this was an analog TV signal glitch. On old antenna TV, if the signal degrades at the wrong moment in this case when she blinked, like an NPC in a video gauge in the broadcast itself and it's straight up like something out of a techno thriller.
In November 1987, Chicago sportscaster Dan Rohn was doing the nightly news when suddenly the signal hijacked. TV screens went black for a second and then viewers were suddenly staring at a bizarre figure. Someone in a max headroom mask bobbing around in front of a swiveling metal background. No sound, just 30 seconds of this super creepy masked intruder.
Engineers managed to regain control on that channel but it wasn't over. About two hours later during a Doctor Who episode on another station, Max Headroom Hacker struck again, this time with audio. The masked person spoke in distorted garbles, laughed, moaned, even exposed their bare behind to the camera while being spanked with a fly swatter.
Yeah, it was really weird. After about 90 seconds, the pirate broadcast ended. Viewers and station officials were completely baffled. Who was that? How did they break into major TV statements saying your final goodbyes? And he's like, I was max headroom. That would be crazy. When a news crew went looking for ghost stories, they might have gotten more than they bargained for.
In 2021, WNYT News Channel 13 in upstate New York did a live report from the Green Ridge Cemetery as part of a Halloween segment. Reporter Sam Hessler was on air in the pre-dawn hours, walking among the tombstones while a guide shared spooky historical tales. The broadcast went smoothly until viewers at home noticed something on their screens
that even the crew on site missed. In the background behind Sam, a misty white figure seemed to drift between the graves. It was brief and subtle, a flicker of what looked like a person or a fog moving fast. After the live shot, one astonished viewer alerted the station and Sam herself was stunned reviewing the footage. She hadn't seen anything in person.
WNYT later acknowledged the eerie moment, assuring folks the clip was unedited and truly aired live. The internet, of course, lit up with ghost caught on live TV posts and theories. Some paranormal enthusiasts called it one of the best accidental ghost sightings on a news broadcast. That encouraged viewers to see alert system. The typical alert banner scrolled,
but then things got truly terrifying. A booming male voice came on and proclaimed, realize this, that in the last days extremely violent times will come. Imagine hearing that out of the blue on a Thursday morning and you're just trying to love it or list it. Understandably, people freaked out. It sounded like a prophecy of an imminent apocalypse or some wartime broadcast,
as dramatic as it was, this turned out not to be the work of pranksters or an alien overlord, but simply a technical glitch and incredibly bad timing during a routine test of the emergency alert system. In short, the system glitched out and aired a fire and brimstone sermon by mistake. Cox and Spectrum cable cussed something Russian? In January 2017,
politics junkies watching a C-span online feed got a strange surprise. The feed, which was showing a live House of Representatives session, abruptly switched to Russia today. The Kremlin funded news channel for about 10 minutes. Given that this occurred amid intense news about Russian cyber interference, many thought c-span had been hacked by Russians in real time.
C-span quickly investigated and put out a statement they didn't believe it was a hack, but rather a routing technical error. The leading theory is that some glitch caused the RT feed to literally overlap and replace the c-span feed on their site. In simulation terms, it's like two different programs mott in an endless loop. And of course, that word was Russia. Also, I live in Kosnowsky, and I will see you.
Russia! Yeah! So yeah, great. She smokes inside, clean out of y'all. Hey! Sometimes, yeah. What's going on? She smokes fags. They call them fags. Yeah, they call them fags. You smoke a fag, eh? Yeah, I smoke a fag.
Can you do a Southern accent? Do your Starloh hair a little bit this year. Hey! Hey, why don't you kiss my fucking arms? No. That's honest and honest. That was pretty good. It's like a British accent. Why don't you kiss my arms? I'll fucking fart in your mouth and throw a knife. Oh, god. Whoa. Sorry. I'm gonna do a British accent, okay? Hello, sorry.
Hello, governor. I was talking to you, exhale. I was talking to that cock in the fucking shop. Well, good eye, Joker. Very good job. Good eye, Joker. Good eye. Oh, look at Natalie's doubler, my lord. So Natalie looks rough. Don't kiss. I won't. You ain't privileged to kiss these, though.
What country is that? You'll never get to suck on these nags. Suck on these? They'll never get to suck on her tits. Because her tits are too nice for you. Yeah, my tits are too nice for you nags. You'll never get to suck on them. You can open your mouth, and I'll fart in your mouth instead.
You can kiss my arms. I'll fart in your fucking mouth. Some people are like that, some people are into that. Hey, what's up? Can you come in? It's like, I like your thumbnail. It's a good thumbnail. Thank you. It's based on this woman, Christine, who used to tell me she's like, why don't you just go jump off a bridge? And then she said, oh, well, in Florida, they have bridge jumping and stuff like that.
And I was like, oh, I didn't know. So this is what the whole thing is right there. She's joined the Colts of Christine. Excuse me. It says, lunch break, lunch break initiation, supervised bridge jumping with emotional support, harness included. So it's one of my memes I made. I like that one. I also made a Halloween-style meme. She gives me up again.
She's not being a bad mouth to me all the time. She calls me scumbag and says I'm disgusting, but I made this one too. This one's like, better fashion. There you go. I think some people should just try harder. Just like a spirit Halloween.
That reminds me of Harry fucking Potter. Harry Potter? Where's Harry? Harry Potter. Harry Farter? Harry Potter. Harry Potter. Do you like the blonde teacher the best? Or Slytherin? Well, you know, I can be a mate.
Yeah. But don't offer to Harry Potter. I think he's underage. Yeah. That's because of that other guy. So Queen Naughty, do you have any talents? Secret talents? She dances? I could be split from the cast. But I'm living in it. I'm doing my own.
I'm doing my own. I can do my own. Do you, uh, do you ever do like a car wheel? Uh, she fucked her up. She can do this. Look what I can do. I can do this. You put your hands like that. Like that. I didn't even pull them over your head like that.
I'll pop your elbows through. I don't know. I think I might be double jointed or something. But, um, I love your picture. Bakelose made a picture of Mr. Extendo. Natalie, do you see Bakelose's picture? Bakelose makes art of the people in the community. Very flattering.
But Joker apparently is, uh, it's, he has a very pretty What are you smoking, Joe? Can you smoke him weed? Hey, he has a very, he's a beautiful, he's a beautiful belly. Look at Joker's belly right here. Hey, it's legal, you know. Oh my god.
Um, there's, like that. It's really good. It's bigger than my belly. In my, in my belly, do you like awesome powers, um, Natalie? Awesome powers. Yeah. Awesome powers. You're a fan? Get in my belly.
That's like, that redhead is like a Scottish. I've got, I'm a bit of a fat chick, so I've got like little vandals. I've got a bit of a belly. She's, she's one of those, um, what's it called? What's that art style? Matisse, or something like that? Matisse? They have the full figure of women. Yeah.
Jelly Rolls. They call him Jelly Rolls. Oh, Jelly Rolls? Yeah, we have Jelly Rolls. He's like, he's an artist in America. You know, Jelly Roll? Hey, some guys, hey, some guys like Jelly Rolls. They put the, they put the cop between the I learned something today. You can actually, you know, you can carry two cups of coffee and donuts at the same time. But Jelly Donuts?
I'm not sure about it. Yeah. There's a video, right? It's called Behemoth Gangman. Gangman? Behemoth. Behemoth. Behemoth Gang. Behemoth. Behemoth, okay, yeah. It's a big monster. It's in the Bible. It's like an elephant thing, right? Okay.
I think she froze. I think she's freezing. What about vaginas? What about vaginas? That in this Behemoth Gangman this woman is really fat. She's a woman, a beast woman. And she's got loads of flabby
where the guys will stick their penis in and go. Do you hear what she's saying? There's a huge obese woman with all these like folds in her skin and all the guys are just fucking the folds around her, like having a gang bang. Yes, yes. It was a lot of good times for being fat. Would you do a Behemoth Gangbang with me? And like, you know, we'd have to find like a six-armed cop woman, but
would you like at the same time stick your dick in her folds? No. No? Dang it. You're too skinny, Frankie. You have to have ten big marks. I probably you just pushed me up inside of her, I think. You know, you're having a fever dream right now. Big size, big size.
Behemoth Gangbangs are where it's at, dude. So the burger king, I think he likes, I think he knows what those are. Like, I never heard of that. I had a 600-pound life. I always thought it was a shower scene. I didn't see the gang bang. You know, but there is a scene. This woman has a whole lollipop. It was actually here. Would you do with the lollipop?
I'm fucking on her ding dong, yeah. Yeah. Bakelips wants to be a panther. Mr. Extendo. Why don't you go to Mr. Extendo's chat, Bakelips, and you can chat with them by writing there. And I don't even have a TTS. Yes. Sorry. I'm on a call today. Sounds like...
I won't get my alcohol down. No problem, no problem, Natalie. Let's see. Yeah, so Mary, how do you monetize it again? I mean, it's like, thank God. I wonder if I'm... I don't know if I'm going to get my last... They didn't give me my last month's pay. You know, YouTube, but I wonder if they will. That should be actually the day or tomorrow, if they do, but... That'd be great, but not holding my breath.
I'm not a good person. I keep on stealing Jesus. I think you're... I don't think you're a bad person. I don't be so hard on yourself. No, but I'm not a good person. Well, nobody's perfect. That's what I'd say. Unless you're doing something really evil, like, you know, eat babies in the woods I thought that was wrong.
I wish my mom would die instead of my dad. Oh. It's not right, man. Well, I mean, that's like... It's kind of like normal to have, like, thoughts, you know, weird thoughts sometimes that are like, you're like, why do I think that that's so weird? I was like, great, my mom, because she didn't think that I'd give her a shit. So I said, I wish... I said, I wish
I'd have gone instead of my dad. Oh. And it was very evil. See, I'm not good. Well, you would have done something. You would have, like, you know... I would have been evil. But sometimes people have a reason to be bad. You know what I mean? It's like, sometimes people are angry for their lives.
Well, if you see, like, my sister kind of had stories, like, you know, in a person, the way people treat you, like you're an idiot, and trying to control you, you're going to laugh at it, aren't you? Well, yeah. I understand that completely, yeah. Yeah, sometimes it's inevitable. Right. I mean, it's like, but it's like, you know,
if you have enough, like, you know, self-awareness, like, I think we should be working on ending some of these cycles rather than perpetuating them, because, like, you know, hurt people, hurt people, as they say, and it's like, because we do have some kind of choices we can make along the way to, you know, not act out or... It's like, this is one click, right? It makes me look like a, like, evil bastard, cunt, right?
But people don't know I got to, like, clip in the first place. This woman was being very vindictive towards me, saying I was aggressive. Right. Because you know me, I'm never aggressive. Right. It wasn't true. She wouldn't make a report to the police about me. Yeah.
And then she tried to make herself look oh, everybody like me, she told everybody about not being able to have children and losing children. I didn't... Listen, I didn't wish any harm on the kid, and I was thinking maybe the kids are better off with God, without you. You know. And I was like, kind of like
I said, well maybe you don't have children. These are just thoughts or words and stuff. I mean, it's not really that bad, you know. Because she is so... I said, I'm thinking she's so being malice about other people trying to ruin somebody else's life. It's not very fair to be a mother.
No. Right. Well, you know, it's like maybe you got her in a bad day, so you don't really know what's happened to the person before that, before all this. And so, you know, maybe we're just like... She likes to troll. I think she likes to like... I mean, there's the most evil things,
I think it's called the 6-7 gang or something like that. I think it's called that. But it's like, basically, it's like a loosely affiliated gang of an internet gang. And they basically get minors to like, do terrible things on camera, and then they start blackmailing them and driving them to suicide and stuff. And actually, they were called the cappers before. And they had a show. They're so sick, and it's like so demented.
But they celebrate, they had an award show for like being able to cause suicides to people. And they had to... People do disgusting things, and they go... Docs them at their... Every school, instead of making pictures of every school, so they would never be able to escape it. And, yeah. And so, they did... I mean, that's pretty evil, especially to underage... You know when you've been a baby with psychic,
can you read people's eyes? Can I... What about... As a psychic, can I do what? Can you read people's eyes? Yes, through the window to the soul. Yeah, I read people's eyes. You do? What are you thinking about my eyes?
You're very flirtatious. I am. Blamboyne. Is it Blamboyne? I got my eyes big. I don't know... Tell me where I'm... I like you, anyway. I wouldn't come around here if I didn't like you. Well, thank you. If I don't like somebody,
I'll fucking unsubscribe to them, I don't do shit. I'm like, you ain't getting mad fucking stuff. You know what I mean? They get mad. Do you like Vita? Have you been to this show? Have you seen Vita? I'm subscribed to him, I don't know it. She sounds like Minnie Mouse. It depends on her treatment. It comes across as fake. Oh, she's very fake, yes. She'll come across as fake.
Well, I'll just let you judge for yourself. She'll be very sweet person. Then she'll turn on you like a... No, I don't know. She's a... I don't know. It's very difficult. She's not just moody. Well, when she drinks white claws and she gets drunk, then she gets quite a mouth on her. But... Women can't be quite, you know?
I'll just say she's a difficult personality. She was nice to me the first four months and then she could really turn on me for the last over a year and it's just been a nightmare. But... But yeah, I guess people... I don't understand. I always keep going back to her show. I don't know why we get treated like garbage over there. But... I'm gonna have to suck her glutton for punishment or something.
But... You know, when I was... You know, when I was on holiday... If I was an aggressive, horrible person... My daughter was a tantrum, right? She was 14. She went up through a flip door for me. She threw a bloody somber like me. She threw a... What, are you her tablet? She threw a somber like me.
Okay. Seven. Well, at least it wasn't a brick. You know, I didn't mean it, but like... You know, I... I... You know, I never hear anything like... I said, you want to start on me? I smiled. Like with the flip door. I was never gonna...
Was it one of those rubber ones or was it a real heavy, like, Birkenstock? I mean... No, it was like a condom. I really... She threw it at me, but what I was trying to teach her there was like... I didn't hit her with it. So at one moment I didn't hit her and I wasn't even climbing on it with a sandal.
I think that's what they used to say, like... I was teaching her, like... She goes around throwing a sandal at people. You know, like... There's gonna be a reaction. What? There's gonna be a reaction. Look at my... Actually, I walked through these Birkenstocks. You see, like... I've actually put a hole through the bottom
of both of these Birkenstocks, isn't that funny? Hey, you see... She didn't say she threw it through, but you should have put a plop, not a flip-flat. Yeah, so I... I don't know what she said, but she threw a flip-flat at me, didn't hit me. Ouch. That's right, Joe, soon they picked up and said, hey, you want to stall me? Come on when you begin.
You know, you say when you throw a sandal at somebody, you say, shoot. I was dumb, so sorry. It was just like, kind of like... in a plane. I keep playing. Well, I've seen a statue of, like, Aphrodite doing that to Pan, I think, seeing the sandal. Jerk, he would chase all the nymphs around, right?
Trying to get... If I do... If I go outside on my phone, I do that. Like, I just... Is that the same thing you were talking about, or did you start a new podcast for that? No, I wouldn't do it. You can change the setting on Frameyard. Okay. What's the best way to react to your teenager
when you're trying to describe Catholicism? What do you do? Well, basically, just slap them or something, but I guess you scare them. Yeah, I only talk to her, like... Uh-uh. I don't know, I just... I don't know, I'd always put a cheese board where I could see it, because obviously, I know
I'm bigger than her, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know, I mean, at the end of the day, when I was younger, I used to be like, I said to this, the reason why I was playing for her when we daughters, because, you know, when she threw the flip-flop, I was like, you know,
somebody's got it, if you do that to people, they'll hit the map, kind of thing. And, when I was a kid, I used to give it out and call people dates. Well, I was about in year four, and there was a year six student, I decided to call her a pig.
Yeah. And she chased me around the changing room, and I was laughing, thinking it was a joke. She grabbed me, pulled me down, and kicked me in the skull. I mean, like, that was violent, you know what I mean? What I was teaching my daughters was joking in the flip-flop.
Hey, Sy, Sy, do you want to watch Zama Zama? Yeah, don't do that to people, because it could be a lot worse. It's a, it's D. Antward made a mini-series, and I watched it on my stream, and nothing happened. Uh-huh. I'd be careful, because I did that re-monetized, but...
I think we're being a pair, and it's a learning case, like, you've got to teach your kids ethnics in this world. You know what I mean? Go teach your ethnics. You've got to spoil it all the time. They're important. They're very difficult, so I can't be really raising myself, you know? No, I am. I'm raising 22-year-olds. I've got a 14-year-old and a 10-year-old
who's going to be 11 soon. So it's like, you've got to teach it with what to do all the time, because every teen is another person different. No, I was such a brat, you know? It's like, I used to... Teenagers think they know everything, and then when they're adults, they realize they're doing nothing.
I thought I knew everything as a teenager, really. Yeah, I pretty much knew nothing. I still know very much, but a little bit better. Even though I've said that, you know, people will clip that and they'll try and turn it around. No, I'm coming. Anything you say, if you share good things about yourself,
they'll use it against you. They'll say anything they can't. I was joking. They'll say, I'll change the way I put it. I never hear it. It's like, play chase. It's not running really fast. You know what I mean? People will say, oh, people will add on to it and say, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You know what I mean? Right. I want to know what extend those things. What do you think you extend them? I'm working on it. I'm making YouTube videos and editing videos while it's here. You look really pissed off. I'm mad. I'm really stoned right now. I smoked a bowl. I think he's just watching
his computer. Yeah, I'm just making videos on my other screen. You know why I was demonetizing extended? Because it said inauthentic content. It's not because of AI. It's because I made too many shorts. It would duplicate the content I had in my video on the short. I had a lot of them.
At least three per video. So I had hundreds of them. That triggered the thing. Once I private them all, I got them monetized right away once my strikes were gone. You fixed it, bro. I fixed it. I used a little program to analyze it, figure it out. You know, 43 if that cost is middle aged. 43?
Yeah, midlife price is around 43, I would say. I think around 50 years old. People have the midlife price. Oh. Well, just before midlife prices fell flat. Of course you bring in old
though. Well, as long as you don't buy like a convertible and stuff. I'm just kidding. That's a lot of money. So I have a I'm not menopause yet. I went on the pill for me already so I wouldn't menstrual. So I wouldn't be menstrual in my holiday. I was in a program in menstrual.
And I think of the menstrual shows. And then on the way of the holiday, I had to show the rest of the concept of pills in the bin. Well, do you need to go? I need to go for holiday. Someone's calling you? Okay. I need it for holiday. Oh, you need it for holiday? Yeah, it's concept of pills
for holiday. Do you know who ghost is Natalie? Do you remember ghost? Oh, yeah, I remember ghost. It's ghost birthday week. I made a ghost of video and it stars people like Dita in it and Samans in it and Paige in it. Oh, but you'll see Paige in this joke. Check it out. This is for ghost birthday.
Check it out. What's that do? It's a duck. It's my plushy duck. Oh, it's a cookie doll or something. Shake like a dope. No, it's a plushy. I love a cookie. I got another pair. This is what I made for ghost birthday.
Enjoy it.
Thank you.
powder on his clothes he ain't late he's dramatically delayed he ain't broke he's financially displayed he ain't flirting he's conducting research if she's breathing he's at work hey ghost happy birthday king buy another round let the chaos sing crash out Monday crash out Tuesday Wednesdays therapy Thursdays who
me everybody dancing everybody toes long live the legend happy birthday go let the whole room change your name he got 20 tap 40 chats three conspiracies and matching hats says he's quitting every single week 30 seconds later I got
something to speak ladies laughing everybody grins ghost and tributes in his imagine every twins who's buying pizza goes who's starting drama goes who's making peace five minutes later who's accidentally hosting another eight hour
panel also ghost happy birthday king buy another round let the chaos sing crash out Monday crash out Tuesday Wednesdays therapy Thursdays who me everybody dancing everybody toes long live the legend happy birthday ghost happy
birthday king let the whole room change your name and say no matter where the livestream goes go somehow always deals the show the internet's weird he's weird or still wouldn't have it any other way
raise a cup glass is all the wild times pass to the last the means the late night roast everybody saying happy birthday go may your wife I stay strong you're my phone I'm muted all night long your stories unbelievable your legend and your crash out strictly for entertainment class happy birthday king buy
another round let the chaos sing crash out Monday crash out Tuesday Wednesdays therapy Thursdays who me everybody dancing everybody toes long live the legend happy birthday ghost happy birthday king let the whole room change your name and say
oh yeah crash out Tuesday everybody saying happy birthday it goes well I like dropping you didn't stand at the end of it there's page and Alex McQueen were in
there and also KZ made appearance and I'm glad I came on in good came on to
it's been a little while I know it's a erratic hour sometimes to check in let me see free delivery okay just looking up with some come with you I really like same camp yeah she's here I think that is thank you for being a member of the by the
way thing that is I appreciate that so I'm gonna be a base on the discord before she's great she's really outstanding I know so many outstanding people that are like that have stayed with me too and it's like you know all this all this lander and everything there's people that like you know always have my back
so may not show you my photographs of me with my word power on my shoulder let's see that in the car yeah yeah me okay I'm looking for about these two babes like last Thursday they're
already gone oh my god which way it was moved it I think I'm fine because my
oh well well this is a ridiculous price all right this is crazy they're selling cartridges here for like $60 a
cartridge player I don't know never mind Sam that's expensive we does now how are you think that is a member now yes you can just every five minutes it comes up for 10 minutes it comes up to think anybody appreciated okay it's been a
few months I've been demonetized and so it sucks big blue one I always kind of red but it's big blue and yellow and pretty what was this name do you know his
name I'm not looking you know you can I kept my sunglasses on me picking out my eye that would have been a try that would have been terrible I mean it's like oh she's a green one they're kind of different colors you have a blue one
she has a kind of green one that's me me don't know my daughter like a restaurant would you do that the zoo because I'm fucking
I guess we're with you today we went so far and I tried to go far I went on a
race track how fast they do well you know my husband is welding right from the train and they have like they do like 40 or 50 miles an hour around like a real racetrack I mean I think it's like in my it's almost a dangerous fucking thing what's fun me and my fun
well here are you using apps or motorcycles motorcycles we're going on no not motorcycles fucking as you go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go they're like little mini race cars basically yeah we haven't had a small time we don't want to go on it
so I gave her tickets to my to the youngest one it would it was a bad one on it what they're dangerous my brother broke his ribs in there they go like 40 an hour now it is the e-bikes around here go like 50 miles an hour it's like scary as hell
there's like everyone's terrorizing the neighborhood these e-bikes these teenagers are starting there's a really funny story where the newspaper and said that these teenagers came parked their e-bikes and started harassing these guys that were rinsing off their their jet skis for some like seat like boat event and the guy the guy turned his hose on them and they said we're they said we're
miners that you're not allowed to do that and and my son was whizzing around he had about three races and bloody out in good right corners fast everything it was his first time go calling you would do it fucking amazing I it would do about with
me with embarrassing I was too slow but he was with whizzing around the corner worried about him and he would do it fine yeah I mean it's like you know I think it's probably pretty dangerous everything everything fun is dangerous yeah he's jumping twice I skipped twice because I got sick just thinking about it yeah but
he's like dangerous when you think about that way you never do anything have you ever bungee jumped Natalie or skydived I have been on I've not been skydiving a bungee jump but I went on it's like we stick three people together like
and then it's like it's like a thing in the sky like a thing and it's cables attached here I like repelling repelling with a little drop and then you fly it's like a fucking
hornet thing yeah is it um is it except what's the thing where you really this hang lighting is not hang lighting but it's like you know similar and then when it's cold it's like a bungee jump repelling repelling I think we're going in yeah we climb a tree the rope we jump off of it and then we the be in the air and next we around a little bit
the lower side yeah I did uh there's a problem I did I think that was pregnant at the time I didn't know I was pregnant I'm doing it I didn't know I was pregnant but I ended up getting pregnant I don't know why I had a miscarriage but I had one not bold about it now because I
wouldn't have to freak if I got there I'm sorry oh no it's come to heaven anyway I think that is it doesn't look like a city anymore he lives in Toronto no I want a sidekick you know when you have a miscarriage and then you're going to see your
baby up in heaven will my baby be grown up in heaven or will it be a baby so now I think with miscarriage it's like there wasn't like maybe sometimes I don't know if there's a soul that incarnated at that point like I think I might know that there's something wrong and like it's kind of like that's why it didn't come or it did it for like maybe karmic reasons and
I don't know the reason that happened or something like but um it's interesting to think about yeah I don't know I don't know
yeah the the first time I got pregnant by was a fucking awesome it's like he's only kids though nothing to fucking do it means he walks around fucking lonely as well staring at all the people
mm-hmm yeah they were not older than me I was only 19 and he was to make it all to make it English is that your first and so you and so you wouldn't want to look at pretty much anyhow right the first time I got pregnant yeah he gave me a joint and I got high on weed oh and I was thinking
I got pissed and high at the same time and a whole big fat joy so I was there and in bed with him not using protection
and again pregnant you just weren't ready at the time you know I didn't even know I was pregnant for eight weeks you know wow for eight weeks yeah um they took a test on me the doctors you know the way for me perhaps here and then they said oh you're pregnant I didn't even have a clue what I'm pregnant
and then I lost it 12 weeks I'm sorry I'm sorry all right there's one on Dr. Phil that thought she was pregnant by the baby by baby Jesus or by Jesus and then she her stomach got real big but like she never had a baby and then like one night she had a real took a real big dump and that was it it was like
oh yeah some women don't know they're pregnant right to give birth to really yeah that's again they have like a lot of space in there and stuff my auntie she got pregnant during the menopause right and she had no idea she was pregnant
because she was a fat woman you know when you're fat you can't tell you're pregnant because you're fat and she was a big fat woman because she got pregnant with her last four child and he had a lot of really bad problems where he couldn't work side
but like just he's helping now doing all right now but he had a really crappy immune system because my auntie didn't know she was pregnant so she was smoking a lot of cigarettes today and she was drinking about 10 beers a day so the break man she was pregnant so sweet
she was born he was born it went to the foals I just felt felt guilty about it it's not your fault if you don't know you know I mean it's like right but I think how do you not I mean I almost think like you know there might be signs that you know because it's her body like she would wouldn't I mean even if you're like you know wouldn't you just notice it's another like 20 pounds of like mass
gathering on like the part of your body with a lot of food around it but it depends if you're fat already you just think you're fat yeah the fact this guy is in the bump she was like having a beast born she's obese she was a beast you can tell you can see why she couldn't tell if she was pregnant
she was fat she's got one of those probably the sport he was fat
well you know in the south in America like I think three out of four people are overweight so it's
I remember me put the the pregnancy I had when I was 20 and I got birth at 21 I remember I was so skinny back then that my bum you could see it really well
because obviously I was a skinny body and I want always fat you know I mean I was quite slim well younger and my bum was like
was it it was it looked good well do you like it or do you like it or I don't know I like being pregnant you know because I looked kind of really more attractive I was pregnant at all I knew I was 20
yeah I mean there's actually some people that are so sick they have like a pregnancy fetish and they like to see the pregnant woman I can't miss anything about I had a college you know you have a student card picture oh god I lost that student card I was all the cats up I looked that was the
best photograph I ever taken and I looked my best and I was pregnant with him and then and I was 20 and oh yeah I looked so beautiful
those were the day I mean it's like you know I wish I by this point I should have gained 100 pounds I wish but it's like I would look normal but it's you're not really fat like you're very slim aren't you I mean I have a picture of myself in drag when I was in high school
So, it's right here somewhere, is there? I don't know, I hear it is. Can you see us getting in? How do you see the one? We turn on our camera, we turn on our back camera. Oh, you know, these women get more faster than men when they get older. Oh, they have like, you know, the, like, they, because they can't pregnant, I guess, they, like, they retain back. Yeah, we have, we have like, like, cheeky hands, or whatever,
and we're the only women, like a hand. Oh, is that you? That's me, it's just me, I am. That's, I was like in sixth or seventh grade. That's how tall I was. That's great, I have 45 people in the chat, nice. What's up guys? I'm 35. Yeah, he's crazy, yeah. I mean, and then I'm, you know, I'm turning into a Puerto Rican woman.
I announced out recently that here's a picture of that. Why don't you start dressing in women's clothing, like, and I'm tough, right? I can't afford it yet. I mean, all I can afford is, like, you know, bra. But I don't have a reason to wear that one yet. I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. But here, here's my, You wanna be a woman, man. Oh. I'm gonna be a Puerto Rican woman. Here's my picture.
I would all planned out already, and I'm turning into a Puerto Rican woman. Here's what I look like.
No. It's gonna be high. There you go, see? Look how beautiful I look. Why are you growing a beard, Saiki, if you want to be a woman? Because I haven't started yet. I mean, it's like, you know, I might start sometime next year. Why don't you start calling me a woman? I'm gonna do it. I mean, do one step at a time now. I mean, first, I'm gonna go get a tub of silicone at Home Depot.
It's gonna be connecting to my body. I'm gonna buy a wig on Timu. I'm gonna get those hoopy earrings. Hey, you know what? I'll donate, I'll donate to all of these facts, if you want. Send it, sure. Send it to my cash, I'm just kidding.
Yeah, I mean, I could take all the fat I could get, but it's like, you know what? It's like, just like with money, I burn fat very quickly too. Aren't I pretty? I would be very pretty as a woman. Yeah, I think so. I'm impressed. I think all women are pretty. Whether they're big, skinny, or whatever. I mean, remember, beauty's in the eye of the bolder.
Right, and sometimes some women are perfect for blind people. Yeah. There's some men too, I'm sure. Maybe they've got really smooth skin. Right. And they feel good. You can feel it. Yeah, the blind person won't feel the smooth skin and they'll feel like a big nose.
Oh, do you remember that film, Mass, with Cher? Yes, with Cher, yes, and Rocky Dennis. And that, yeah, Rocky Dennis, and it meets like blind women. I need to watch that, you know. Have you seen the Elephant Man movie? Yeah, I've seen the Elephant Man. John Mayer? I first watched that when I was a kid. Your last movie? Yeah, I watched it when I was a kid, I think.
Have you ever seen the Goonies? The Goonies, they have a guy that looks like the mask a little bit. Yeah, well, at first, I watched it as a kid, but it scared me, it upset me. So, I think Hothkins has opened up, said his lifeline is running out, he's moving back to Wales, and becoming sober. Yeah. You heard that, Hannibal Lecter?
Would you ever go on a dinner date with him? Well, I'm now a kid, of course. Who wouldn't? Who wouldn't? What if he gets into his character, Hannibal Lecter, and eats you? Nah, he's like too bad. I like to do the Buffalo Bill dance, so you know who Buffalo Bill is? Rocky Dennis, he's like retarded,
looking redhead on the news show. I hate him. I'm just like, I'm still kidding me, I'm not kidding. I don't know anything about it, I don't know anything about it, I don't know anything about it. Who's your favorite American actor? I mean, I just go down the road with them in the chat.
You know, they don't prompt to me, I'll just chat with them. Yep, we're just chatting, just having a chat. Yeah, I'll just have a chat with them. This is a troll community, it is a troll community, but there are some nice people in here, like, you know, it would be nice. Usually it's like big clips. I don't think I'm ever gonna meet Anthony Hopkins over to behind. I don't think so.
Is it Anthony Hopkins at this point? He's like, hello, hello, Natalie. Would you like, I'd like some kidney with my favela beans. Pshh, pshh, pshh. I don't know anything about it. No. I don't think I'm gonna be, look at size of me, I'm not gonna walk the red car forever, don't want to anyway. Uh, no, bigger is better.
Sloth rules, yes, we love sloths from the goons, you know. You know, now there's a word called goons in America, but it's not like a goon, like a thug, it's actually just, it means on the face somebody makes when they're having an orgasm. Yeah, sloths. No, it was that woman in Identity Fee. She's quite a pussy woman, isn't she, plus that woman.
Identity Fee. Where was she, where was this? Identity Fee, move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she was Brennan, that guy, Jason Bateman, and then they had, what's that lady's name? Yeah, what's her name? What's that lady's name, that real, that real funny lady that she's like, no, she's heavy set, and she's got all those. Yeah. My name's Jason Bateman, my name's Jason Bateman. What's her name, I forgot her name,
it's Kay, something, or Kathy, not Kathy. Kathy Bates. Not Kathy Bates, Kathy Bates is my cousin, do you know that? I don't know that. You have a common ancestor from England, I think grandfather Tom, like five generations back. Oh yeah. We're like fifth cousins or something like that, fifth cousins once removed or something.
When I was a little baby, do you know what's her name? Ressa Regree, do you know who she is? Yes, she's an older, lovely older lady. Yeah, she came to my house, my family home, my dad's house, what was your little, my little, sorry. She came to my house to strike.
Well, you know, Vince Vaughn came to my parents' house one day, he was going to the wrong house, he was looking for a house for sale, but it was Vince Vaughn from Swingers. Did you like that movie? Swingers? Do you know Christine? I don't know it. Have you heard of Christine? Christine's a swinger. Oh. Do you want to see my appearance? I had this appearance on Be This Show recently, it was great.
I'm not really a swinger, I'm not actually a new man in 10 years. Why don't you have an apple in front of your house? I'm just kidding. I've only been with Nathan for about 10 years. 2011. Check out, so this is off of Be This, like it was like last Tuesday night, or Wednesday. I know, I know a bit of it, so I'm going on here and I'll get me tips out
from time to time on Facebook. You know, I don't sleep, I don't sleep all night. No, I know, I'll vouch for you. Okay, here's Be This Show on, what, Wednesday? What is this shit? Yeah, I'm around in a cock tease. A cock tease? Yeah, I like to be a cock tease, yeah.
Oh, me too, I love to tease cocks. Yeah. I'm just kidding, hold on. Okay, so where does it say Be This? Where's Be This up? I don't see it. Be This Kid, Whisker Wednesday, multitasking meows, I think it was this one. Okay, so this is my appearance on that show. Well, I'll show you Christine personally to see what a horrible witch, a witch is.
See, my problem is, I'm too brutal to be honest. I'm in a quite, I get myself in trouble and people quit it because they tried to twist things because I'm honest and open-wop. Yes. So I was just twisted,
this is just manipulators of the truth. and then they'll kick me off, tie me up, pawnbomb me, so my side is full, we can still eat it. It's sad. They're setting me up. Well, it's like if you know that, then it's like you can like kind
of like make steps. Yeah, I don't have to make a step. It's remedying. I do have learning difficulties and I do have difficulties like educational-wise and not to.
Oh my god. Well, I almost made it real madly to like let this guy stay at my house for six months if I could have sex with him. And then he said yes. I didn't think he would say yes. And then like the thing that is like like being beside a contract about it. And then he like they call the police on
him, but he is very black. I would actually, I like black. I want him to. I think I've got mass dyslexia. I have really bad mass dyslexia. It's like I can't, I can't, I can't divide
11 by 2 in my head. Well, I think it's 5.5. See, I can't even do that quickly in my head.
Can you get mass dyslexia? Mass dyslexia? Oh yeah. Yeah, I got mass dyslexia. I'm really terrible at mass. I sucked it, Matt. That was a terrible amount to believe that. Yeah, I mean, say me. It's like, it's like the Bible where they're going on about so many QBs. I can't read them.
I try to make no as archivist as possible. So I want to see what happened with Ambeas with this Chris K. With Chris K, this friend. Look at this guy. So this is a guy. I like the black guy, but I'm changing my mind about Chris K. I thought Chris K was a non-seed, so I'm like, why is it black? I don't know. Carl was saying, uh-oh, the heading's incoming, and I assumed they were talking about somebody on panel doing that, so I'm guessing that's Carl.
I don't know though. Yeah, yep, yep. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was all like that bad. Like, I mean, but Wardog pissed me off in a moment after that. I didn't like he was attacking everybody, but like I said, but this motherfucker said so much shit about me, and he goes on panels like saying like the hard R like fucking crazy. Oh my god. Oh my god. But this bitch beat
a fucking set of one time backs to him. And to this day, I get fucking heat for it. Oh my god. Nobody ever keeps any of these men accountable ever, you know? Because then you're gonna have four fucking Wardogs. Wardogs. I would have said something to Carl if he started saying shit like that. Do you know that? Do this guy. Oh, it's Chris. If he just started talking crazy
like that, I would have said something. Don't, please don't drop it. I don't, but how do you, I don't, oh, drop it? Please don't drop it. Who's that? This is Fred. Hi. I don't know, but I saw Chris. Oh, what up, Bita? What up? Who are you? Hi, Chris. How are you? You know what I mean? Fucking buster. Is that one of your, is that one of your IP2 buddies,
or is that just a normie? Normie, you're the fucking normie. I am a normie. That's why I asked you though. Is he an IP2 buddy? Can I just have a show for one second and say a huge shout out? Listen, show respect. Hold on one second. Hold on. Shut up, Chris. Hold on. I want to say
hi, hi, hi, hi to fucking keep you with her. Jim Nick is in the fucking house. Jim Nick, I fucking love you. I'm proud of you. I miss you like fucking crazy, kiddie warrior for life. I love you. I was just curious, but that was an IP2 streamer or a normie. That's all I wanted to know, if it was like one of your work buddies. I don't know. I thought it was Saman for a second.
Is this being Saman or fucking streaming? Like, see how I hold it with my thumb? Now, why you can't drop it? Can you come out? I can't really look because I'm driving, but why are you driving and talking? I'm talking. I'm not typing. I'm looking at the road. No, I said you're driving. You're driving and talking. No, you're on the phone.
You're distracted. You need one focus. Spoken from the road. Go straight or left or right. I'm not distracted. That's right. You sound like it. I'm fine. I'm going forward. You guys, don't go staying and hanging out with Aldo. Tell her to take me to Disneyland. Let's go to Disneyland.
Hey, look, I just went to go get my TB test done for my work.
All right. Hey, guy that's hanging out with Chris K. Watch out for your back door. He back doors sometimes, you know? It sounds like you guys missed it. We were on chatterbait earlier. What are you talking about? Oh, you backdoor each other? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Wait. Go down. I don't know nothing about it. We're trying to say I'm fucking gay or some
shit. Yeah, I heard that. No, no, no. No, we didn't. He didn't. He said he was willing to make love to another man, like, and all that stuff. I mean, this is going on for hours. I can't believe they went on for so long about that. I mean, that's crazy. I was looking for a different episode. I mean, Jesus. I don't know the guy. I don't want any more.
I don't want anything else. I think I'm sobered up enough to really like my hair. Okay. I guess it was this one. Okay. Tuesday, trial and error, or Whisker Wednesday, multitasking me out. What's the name? Just the fuck is the name? Okay. My fellow Patriots. Okay. I'm bringing this one. First thing the globalists of the leftist do when they want to silence you is go after your. Oh, my God. What's his name? I forgot his name.
That picture hasn't been seen in fucking years and then all of a sudden somebody is going on. Last warning. She looked away. She looked away. She looked because of this issue she's having medically. Oh, I don't know what's going on right?
It's like there's any ways. All right, good.
Let's watch.
Wait for hours to just.
You've heard of the.
I don't know. I thought that there was another clip somewhere, but I guess I lost it, but blogger was on their summer. Oh, here it is. Oh, here I think this might be it. What's this with that guy? Oh, my gosh. This is last. It's douchebag. Frank. Oh, my God. I want to hear them. They talk about me. I hear they talk about me at first. So, it's like, I'll find it right here.
He said I have an open panel. I let almost everybody up until they just start pushing my buttons. If I tell them, don't do like, don't play an audio without my permission. Don't change a picture. I used to let all of this shit go. It was kind of free for all, but then I got blamed for certain things that I didn't know was even coming to me. You know, a lot of my problems with that. It's like people changing pictures of people
I didn't know telling me, no, this is a public picture. Oh, no, this is a public show. No, this and this and that. And now I got to be anal about it. I don't like it. But, you know, there's a sitting on stream yard where you can say audio avatars or something like that. And that's usually on. That's what everything is.
Like we may just have their audio on. They have an avatar on. You can have it to turn that off. And then it's then you don't see any avatar. So it's just figure that out. I guess. I know Chris Kay. I know from you.
This is too ridiculous. I don't want to see Frank bitch about me. Timmy Reza though, come on YouTube as much now. He's a young kick. Kick, yeah. He was funny back in the day though. Right. He was funny when he was trolling.
He was quite very technical savvy. He could like, like he used stream yard in a certain way where he wouldn't use up his hours. And he wouldn't have to keep creating. Melissa McCarthy was the name of the Melissa McCarthy. At least she was Joe McCarthy's granddaughter. I'm just kidding.
The worst thing Jimmy Reza ever did. He's a nice guy. But he switched from drinking Stella to vodka. He's a heavy drinker. Jimmy Reza. He's a heavy drinker. Yeah. I like the shirt. He was in that cowboy with John Boyd and Dustin Hoffman. He plays Reza. He should have got rid of them disco lights. They were fucking funny.
But when he used up disco lights. Disco? I missed that. I was born in the 80s. When he used to come on powder with baseball cap and the fucking disco lights. Is he funny? Is it comedian? Well, remember last time I showed you Roy J? He should have never got rid of the disco lights. I found that so he sure got rid of the disco.
Remaining disco ball. Did you get disco ball? Yeah. I was thinking of that one, like, you know, New Year's time. You have that ball drop. Hey, here's, here's Lenore. I'm missing Bella. She's not coming back till tomorrow. My mother-in-law can't pick her up on Friday. So she's picking up that thing.
Let's miss Lenore. She is absolutely beautiful. Yeah. Nice to see her. Nice to see her. Oh, she's smelling Lola. These are my two girls. I have two girl cats and so. Yeah. I'll hold them down. I'll hold them down. Well, let's see. I mean, I wish I could have found that beta clip that I was in.
I love animals. You know what, then, you know what, that's the girls I like. It's like, you know what, it's like, there was this blind man about to walk into a hole, like an open ditch in the pavement, and this dog wouldn't, he couldn't see because he was blind.
There's a bat that's set into danger, right, and this dog ran forward. You can't go through a double or a cat. And then we were like, wait, it ran forward and went like that to the blind man. And then he put his stick down, and we went through a big hole in the last rolling,
and he walked around instead. It was an animal that saved him. Has an animal ever saved you? Yeah. When I was about seven. Wow. What happened there? Well, it is quite spiritual, actually.
I was riding my bike on the street, and I felt like something was calling me through the woods. And obviously curiosity got the better of me, and I was trying to go to these woods,
and there was a, there was a brown and white spaniel at the end of the road, stood directly in front of me, with like brown patches on its side, looking at me like that. You're not there past me, can't it?
And I tried to sneak away past it, and it came and hit me on the arm. It left a little bit of a scar, but not like a big deep flesh wound. And it was like telling me to go home.
Yeah. I think it might have been the Jezebel spirit that was calling me into the woods. Oh, Jezebel spirit, I'm familiar with that, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever seen anybody possessed by that spirit?
I think it has been, yeah. It is very controlling and very, and it's even selfish, yeah. I believe in others, because that's part of Jezebel. Well, there's a lot of different kinds, apparently, but it's like, you know.
It's not a very nice womanly spirit, it's very naggy.
The Jezebel spirit, yeah. I mean, it's very, I mean, she tends to like want to go and take over churches and stuff, and then like, you know, sleep with the ministers and stuff, and corrupt everybody. Like, she's been, that's kind of like. Or she's not entirely religious. Yeah. Is she like telling the Bible? They don't always use sexually, but they're used deliberately. They'll use any type.
Well, because it is a spirit, and so there is some kind of spirituality there with it, but I think it's more Machiavellian in its operations, you know. I don't believe it's the Queen Jezebel, because I don't believe in ghosts, but I believe there's like a spirit. Right. Well, there's a Queen Jezebel, yeah. I mean, I don't know if it's considered, I think it's just based on that name, but yeah, it could be.
I mean, in the Bible, there's two Jezebels, isn't there? There's like, there's one who died and got out of a window, gone into a window, died, got, you know, lied by dogs, and they picked everything up and go, meat off a bone and clean their bones. That's all that was left, the skull in the cross goes, that's all that was left.
Yeah. Yeah. I knew that for the Bible, because I actually saw in my head Jezebel's death. Ooh. What did that look like?
It made me afraid of dogs.
Yeah. I was afraid I was going to get eaten by dogs. Well, dogs do kill quite a lot of people, like they are quite a, quite dangerous. There's a dog attack. I know a few people that were almost like one guy that died after the dog attack, and then a woman that was attacked by, I guess, pitfalls too,
and she survived, and it's like very painful and horrifying. It's almost like being eaten. They heard the story of this hunter Actaeon, and then he stumbled into Artemis, or Diana's, like, you know, her taking a bath with her maidens, and then so she like cursed him,
turned into a stag, and all those hunting dogs started eating him, and he was eaten by his own dogs. Kind of interesting. Yeah, I wouldn't like to get eaten. Well, here, yeah.
I wouldn't like to, I wouldn't like to try them to death. I really try and want to not like it. I wouldn't like to do that with you. There's a picture of the Mary, her married, married, I forgot her name, but look, they're delivering the rabbits in there. You see all the rabbits on the floor, dead rabbits. You believe that, that's why William
Hogarth, that was one of my favorite artists, did that art there. Are you interested in William Hogarth? He's like, I think he was one of the first people with a pug. Have you heard of him? William Hogarth? He did his woodcuts and like that. I'll show you something really cool.
Okay, so there's like all the four stages of cruelty, which he made. He has, he's, in his picture, he has a pug, you know, he has one of these pugs way back then, but let's see, like, what's the short thing about it? I don't know what's the short thing about it. Let me see. I think it's right here. Pretty amazing, you'll see.
My name is Meredith Gamer. I'm delighted to welcome you to the fourth series of six films devoted to William Hogarth, produced as part of the Paul Mellon Center's 2021 Public Lecture Series program. All have been made in collaboration with the filmmaker Don Law. In this film, I'll be focusing on the stages of cruelty, a series of four prints that Hogarth
designed, engraved and published in the winter of 1751. Let's start by taking a closer look at the prints themselves, which, as we've come to expect with Hogarth's moral subject, are packed full of narrative and infant. The series opens with a scene of childhood mayhem.
On a clean, swept London street, a swarm of young boys are busy tormenting animals in a variety of impressively creative and fiendishly nasty ways. At right, tube lined a bird with a fire
hot needle. Another time a hungry dog's tail. Several moorah are about to start a game of throwing at cocks. And still more grin and holler as two cats, which they've strung up by their tails,
frantically hiss and claw at one another. Meanwhile, toward the center of the scene, something even more horrible is happening. A young boy dressed in rags, his face in shadow, shoving an arrow down the backside of a large dog. The animal howls in pain as another boy,
with tears in his eyes, desperately tries to intervene. With one hand, he sees his hold of the boy's wrist. With the other, he offers him food, the small round tart as an enticement to stop. This is how Hogarth introduces us to Tom Neera, whose fortunes he traces
over the next three prints. That Tom's life is already destined to end badly is predicted by yet another little boy who has just drawn a stick figure picture of a man hanging from a gallows and beneath it, Tom's name on a balustrade wall. By the second stage of cruelty, Tom has
grown up to become a hackney coachman, whose job it was, much like taxi cab drivers today, to ferry Londoners through the city. An older reflection of his younger self, he is abusing his aged and starving horse, which is broken down under the weight of four penny pinching
barristers who have piled in together in order to save on their fare. Once again, Tom's act of cruelty is not an isolated event. At right, a drover is bludgeoning a straggling lamb, which has collapsed in exhaustion on the way to market. Nearby, a dozing drayman has unwittingly
allowed his cart to trample a child. And in the distance, a man goes an overladen donkey with a pitchfork, while others chase a baited bull through the streets. So horrible. In the next plate, cruelty and perfection, we move from the city to the suburbs.
In a quiet churchyard cemetery late at night, Tom has been discovered by a party of hue and cry at the scene of a savage crime. Before him lies the dead body of his pregnant mistress, the servant Anne Gill, a stream of blood flowing from her brutally gashed neck.
As the note by Anne's feet explains, Tom seduced her into helping him burgle her mistress's grand home, which rises up in the distance. The fruits of Anne's theft, a candlestick, kettle, and serving dish, lie in a bundle at her side along with her initial trunk. Meanwhile,
a cache of pistols and stolen watches pours forth from Tom's fine coat pockets, which indicates that he's been making a living as a highwayman robbing travelers on the dark roads in and around London. In the final plate, the reward of cruelty, Tom's crimes are punished and the
prophecy of the first print fulfilled. He's been hanged at Tibern like Tom Idle before him. The gallows' ropes still tied around his neck. He's now being subjected to the further and even more shameful punishment of being anatomized by a group of London surgeons. The presiding lecturer jabs a pointer at Tom's severed chest,
while one of his dissectors rummages around inside, emptying his organs into a wooden bucket below. Another of Tom's assailants gouges out his eye. A stoneman with bones simmers away nearby.
And in a bit of poetic justice, a mangy dog makes a welcome feast of Tom's discarded heart. As even this relatively brief introduction to the prints will have made clear, the stages of cruelty is a work filled with violence,
violence enacted by humans against animals and by humans against one another. All in all, it is Hogarth's most searing pictorial series. Modern viewers often find the prints difficult to look at, and as we will see, there's good reason to believe that many 18th century viewers found them so as well. Why make such a set of images?
You know what, I wonder if those kids that were doing those evil acts were extremely abusive.
Well, I think like they say psychopaths have a tendency to abuse animals, like that's what they start with, you know, and then they go on to like murderous and stuff, and so I think that there could be like, you know, somebody that's being mistreated, but I think that- But I mean, it's a lot of psychology. I've always been like, educate. Yeah.
I would have been learning psychology, right, growing up, honestly. Yeah, I love psychology, yeah, it's one of my only classes.
It's kind of like, difficult. Did you know my non-all went, my non-all sneaked into the army at 14 to work in the army? Yeah.
Like laundry, matron, kind of thing. Wow. Yeah.
A grandparents used to use a dead auntie basket to change their names from time to time, so they could get money or whatever. Oh, wow. A little bit of a little bit of a little scheme. Yep.
Well, they were, they, a grandparent raised her pretending to be her parents. A mother, a mother, a real mother died at 22. Her name was Kathleen, she fell in love with a Protestant, I can't say the word.
They were a Catholic family and they didn't like her falling in love and getting pregnant by a Protestant. And, oh, well, yeah, the politics is fucking horrible and it's evil sometimes, unless you
got Joan of Arc, she would come back the week. I wouldn't say all Catholics are evil, but like, they're right in some terms. Yeah. The way that found bones of children buried in northern orphanages and these workhouses
were women who were raped and obviously too retarded to say no and consent, so basically they were raped as well. Yeah. And they went to these workhouses and these nuns beaten while they were pregnant.
I actually read a story about one woman, two nuns sat on top of her and held her down while she was getting birth. Oh. They were at the top of a pregnant woman holding her down while she was getting birth. It's fucking horrible.
They make you feel sick. It makes me feel sick. And he's that guy that was like, he was like a knight. He was knighted and stuff. He had a show called, he had a show, but what was that guy's name? He had long hair. He was like kind of like a blond hair. He was like, he was a children's hospital. He'd go in and he'd like molest everybody. Gary, what's his name?
Let me look it up. You're talking about, he's British.
He had a TV show. Okay, one second.
His name is... I was wondering, I was wondering, I'm not ready to laugh. I was wondering if I could be a psychologist. Psychologist? Do you probably kid? His name is Jimmy Saville. Jimmy Saville.
Have you heard of him? I'm too old to be a psychologist. Come on, stop material. Did you mean Saville? Did you mean Saville? James Saville? Yeah, he was old. Yeah, that's why he's the bad guy, right? Yeah, he's the bad guy who waited forever. I don't believe in hell, but I believe this is the second resurrection.
And all the wicked are going to see me destroyed. You know what I was going about? Runs a lot of it. Now, the Bible prophesies that there's earthquakes in different places, right? I believe that's going to happen to the wicked, right? You know, the lake of fire, it's not as you think
in churches where people have been brainwashed. You know, volcanoes, you think about it. Even the inactive ones can be dormant if earthquakes wake them up. If the Bible says it's going to be diverse earthquakes in diverse places, diverse new different places, right?
But...
Like Red Dante's Inferno, they have an ulcer... It's going to make all the volcanoes go... to the lava, raking the earth into a lake of fire. And honestly, I believe Satan's been a trick for the wicked.
Dante, when he gets to the middle of the goals, he finds Satan in ice. I don't believe we'll ever go to Mars, like... To Mars? We'll never go to Mars. I don't believe we have either, I think it's like... It's a trick. It's a trick, like he's saying in the second resurrection.
Because nobody's going to go and fight God. Nobody's in the right mind. They need to see the nations, and the God and the...
Magog and Gog, whatever it's called. I'm not the best. Now, Gog and Magog, the Bible. I get Magog, yeah, exactly. Yeah, it says the four quarters of the earth, like the dead that are in the grave. What's the name of this? It's Magog, you know. There's going to be a first resurrection.
And the people in Christ will be taking the first resurrection out of the way. Now there's going to be a second resurrection. And the wicked will be left on the earth. Where the dead in Christ have been resurrected into immortality and saved out of the way.
The wicked are going to be on earth. They're going to be deceived by Satan. And they're going to be told, I think it's going to be like... That Satan's going to tell them, oh, we're going to Mars. There might be aliens on there, so we'll have to fight and we'll have to take weapons.
And that will be tactic for fighting God. And, well, it says, when it says that people will be thrown into a lake of fire. The earth will become a lake of fire.
And it says, and he shall rain fire snares and bring stone and horrible tempest shall be, of course, something called meaning, you know, science predicts meteorites.
Where these like ball fires are coming to explode. So imagine people in these arcs to go up to space. They all go into the fifth. They're all going up into the air.
The meteorites rain on them, set by God. And the earth cause the earth a lake of fire. caused by the earthquake in different places, which makes the lava
all the volcanoes turn the earth into a lake of fire. And then when it says that the wicked shall be knocked back into a lake of fire. It, it, that's how it's going to happen, I think. Well, they're going to be like, they're going to triangle heaven to attack God.
And he shall stop them and then they'll all crash back into the lake of fire as thrown. So it's going to, it's going to happen that way. I think logically. Right. I mean, it's like, I mean, logically, if there was like some kind of like, you know,
trick being played in order to really just like a throne room and there's God right up there and stuff. I mean, it's like, but would we have found them with our spaceships or spaces? I mean, what I've learned is like, the wicked will not burn forever, like these cabinet churches say. They will be burnt into ashes.
That's what happens to the human body, you know. Destroyed forever. Which I can't imagine what being destroyed forever is. Right. The dead body that we're already like, I mean, that's basically like you're destroyed on earth, like with the dead body. It's basically, you'll be destroyed.
You'll be like burnt out, crispy ashes, and you'll never be remembered. You'll never be forgotten forever. But that's what happened when we first, like what happened first is that like there was, like there's absolutely nothing and then it came everything. Right. And it's like, so whenever there's like nothing, like whenever we're nothing like ash, this one we're probably reborn, you know. It's like we have to be something.
We have to keep turning into something, you know. That's just going to be the ash. We're not like human bodies. So it's like we're not just the ash that our body turned into. We're a spirit which is non- eruptable, non- flammable. In flammable, it's like, that's the one I use. So the mini, I used to use King James, but this is the E.S. English Standard Version.
I think you can get an American Standard Version as well, can't you? Yeah, you can. You need it in America. We have a million different versions. You need to get an illustrated Bible and stuff. I mean, it's like a crazy.
Yeah, it's going to be a fire from the sky, though. Well, you know, that's what God said. Like, I guess he said in Noah, he said he would never destroy the earth again, but I guess he said by water. Yeah, but he's going to destroy it by a fire in Winston. But he did that already to Solomon Gamora, too, and he regretted it, I think. But that's like the whole testimony.
Yeah, you know, Solomon Gamora was, for example, and they went destroyed because of that. I know, they're rapists or something, right? Yeah, they're rapists. It's where the fact that they loved a man or a woman.
It was a fact that they wanted to dominate and annihilate, even though one of them annihilated. You tell them and tell them the story about how they would just tie people to a tree and cover them with honey and eat the bees and ants, eat them and stuff like that, and that's how they, they're so cool, you know?
But yeah, I think part of the thing is like, you know, humans are very selfish and cruel, like kind of, by birth we are kind of that way, because we're like, you know, but then it's like we have the ability to change ourselves, which is like a good thing, we have the free will to do it, so we can either go either way pretty much. Come to demonic demon possess, open the door to all the, they call pigs in the parlor.
Is they, would you like like let a bunch of pigs in the parlor? No, because they make a mess and they don't care. That's like just like the demons, you know? They just like, they'll just come through and just trash the place, and then when it's done, they'll just leave and go somewhere else, and it's like, you're there trash, so.
I didn't kind of wish that some of the fallen angels could repent and go to heaven again. Well, I wish they could change their mind and say, oh, I made a mistake by following Husserford. Jesus, will you forgive me?
I think they kind of like, well according to the book of Enoch, they all kind of like wrote a contract that they would all take the blame for. Maybe, maybe they'd love Husserford and they don't want Husserford to go as well. But I think, yeah, I think Husserford was God's favourite angel, I don't see why he couldn't be the angel's favourite angel either. I don't think, I don't think God really wants Lucifer to go.
I mean, like, it says God doesn't delight in the destruction of the wicked. He doesn't say angel or human, so I assume he doesn't, he's not happy if he has to destroy Lucifer in the angels. That's why they fell, I think that's why they fell is because,
so we, they had to change the vibration, go to material world, and that goes with the death process and rebirth process. But then again, the separation of God, so it's, you know, kind of hellish for them, but it's like they're alive and they, you know, I believe there's a way back for everybody, even the people in hell, there's like, you know,
the hell's we'll bench them in, you know, it's part of what I try to do, it's to help people out. There's no opening for those, like, this is hell. This is heck it is. Where we are. Lois, there may be underground tunnels and stuff like that, see if that might be even closer, but, sure. I mean, this is probably hell because this is where we get
diseases on cancer and appetite injections and all that. This is hell. It can be, well, John Milton said that the mind is a place in itself and can make a hell out of heaven or a hell out of hell. It's my Yerba page. I love that quote.
When you look in the Bible, it says that, gee, something of the verses, it doesn't even talk about how it says heaven and earth. It says sheol or it says Jesus goes to the underworld and it talks about like, it's a will by a Pollyon, which is Apollo, right? But it's like a Pollyon.
And he has the keys to hell, a sheol, yeah, a sheol. And also in Nordic, it's called like, you know, but it's like the goddess of hell is Hella, you know, and it's Hella's all icy and cold because it's Norway. But I'm going to be right back. Thank you. I really need to go to the toilet. Okay. Me too. So I'm going to put up a quick video for the chat. Here we go, guys.
Can you just be educated while I, uh, get back? I'll be right back.
There it is. Okay.
Oh, I keep picture.
Okay.
Their caricature of a Capricorn is the corporate executive, someone solely defined by their place in a hierarchy, chasing status and financial power. The internal reality is more solitary. This is the archetypal mountain climber, psychologically durable, self-reliant and built to carry enormous weight. Success for them isn't about the title on the door.
It's about the endurance required to reach the summit. This endurance is necessary because their nervous system is rarely off. They instinctively look past social masks to find the hidden agendas and power structures underneath. For a mind that constantly senses these hidden layers, the surface of reality feels unreliable. Navigating the world becomes a task of decoding.
They are forced to organize the chaos of human interaction, just to feel a sense of security within it. This decoding starts with a refusal to accept appearances. The intake process is investigative. It assumes that the most important information is what people are trying to hide. First, they scan for emotional subtext. They look for the specific motivations that drive a person's behavior,
separating what is said from what is actually intended. Next, they identify the mechanics of the group. They map out the unspoken power structures and check for signs of manipulation or instability within the social system. Processing this much social data is taxing. Constantly absorbing the hidden tensions of an environment
creates a specific kind of mental fatigue that persists even in quiet moments. This scanning mechanism serves as a survival tool. It takes the unpredictable nature of people and converts it into raw data that can be studied and managed. Once that data is gathered, the mind begins to organize it. This is where a trait called Mercury in Capricorn takes over,
a thinking style that favors frameworks over random fragments of information. They reject disconnected ideas. To make sense of the world, they have to categorize their observations, finding a specific place for every piece of social data they've collected. This translates social chaos into layered models. By structuring their observations this way, they can see the logic behind why a group behaves the way it does,
turning feelings into a map of cause and effect. This structured thinking allows them to see how a problem in one area, like a personal betrayal, actually mirrors a larger flaw in the entire system. They identify overarching structures that others miss because they are looking at the whole grid, not just a single note. This synthesis changes their relationship with the world.
They move from merely observing the chaos to mentally charting the architecture behind it. The purpose of building these mental models is long-term forecasting. They aren't interested in a quick win. They are looking at how a situation will play out months or years down the line. Their mind constantly tries to survive future outcomes before they happen, identifying where the system might break and reinforcing it long before the pressure arrives.
Maintaining this level of foresight requires immense internal discipline. It means carrying the weight of future consequences while staying focused on the immediate tasks of the present. The result is a high level of psychological resistance. By anticipating the collapse of a structure or a relationship in advance, they ensure they are never truly caught off guard. The ultimate goal of this strategy is a state of being resistant to collapse.
While the stereotypes suggest they want power for the sake of ego, the reality is that they want a system that is durable enough to survive. This makes them uniquely suited for world building and operational leadership. They have the patience to build communities and systems that can withstand external shocks because they've already accounted for the failure points. Their deep understanding of how structures work
allows them to guide others through complex environments. They act as the architects of the concepts that keep a group or an organization stable when things become volatile. This mind is a mechanism for translating chaos into meaning. It takes the overwhelming unpredictability of reality,
identifies the patterns, and build structures designed to stand the test of time.
I'm here. You're here? Okay. Hi ladies, hi ladies, hi. Hi kitty cats. Oh okay. What is it? So what is it? Saturday morning over there? Is it five in the morning? What is it? Oh yeah. Let me see. Almost four. Have you had a fun night? Weed from the shaft, right? Yeah.
Well it's 824 here tonight. I'm working on something called, we're going to site for Sabian symbols today. Have you heard of the Sabian symbols? Not rare, I am not. What's Sabian symbols? They're an astrology. They're like every degree, like 360 degrees, everything's mapped out to a certain
certain like little channeled vision the person had when he was, he's scribed the whole zodiac thing. And so then they put it with a specific degree and then you match it up with like where your signs are and stuff. And then you have like an interesting story there. But I'm calculating that right now. It's a big encounter. Did you know the three wise men who bowed down to Jesus
when they took in the gift and told by Angel Gabriel to go out another way and disobeyed Herod. Do you know they were astronomers? Sodomites? Astronomies. Astrology, yeah they're astronomers, yes.
Exactly. So I'm writing a book about an experience I had. It's kind of based on the tarot, but it's based on experience I had. I want to read you the first chapter, it's very short. So it says, it's called, it's called A Very Good Person. Okay, it's a novel of the Major Arcana. And it's by me, okay. So the first we have the lover's reverse.
That's the first chapter. It says, the first thing she ever gave me was a song. And I have thought a great deal since about how a thing can be a gift and a hook at the same time and how you cannot tell the difference until the hook is set. It came a little after midnight in late August, the dead middle of night when the platform empties out and only people left awake are the lonely and the wired, which in those years were the same people. I was in the room I streamed from.
I called into the studio. It was a second bedroom or a printed unit on the wrong side of Burt A. Cove, close enough to the water that the fog came in and under the door, but not close enough that anyone with money would have lived there. I had a ring light, two cats asleep in a good chair, and following maybe 400 people who tuned in to watch a man in his 40s laid tarot cards on a car table, Dr. Strickland till dawn.
The Hierophant, they call him, the Hierophant's hour. I had picked the name, the fifth card of the Major Arcana, the teacher, the keeper of the between places, the one who stands at the door with the key in each hand. And I had liked it because it sounded like something and because no one who mattered would ever knew it was me. That was the whole appeal of the work. You could be a voice. You could be a person with good lighting.
You could be anyone but the man who could not make rent. Message was her name, I don't know, V. Reyes, a blue circle for a photo and under her name a link, and under the link, three words and a heart. Love that, goodnight. I clicked on it because it was like, it was kind of lonely that clicks things. It was a song, one of those assembled tracks that were everywhere that year, a woman's voice
that had never existed, singing over strings that no one had ever played. And it was, God held me lovely. It was about the sea. It was about hanging on. I played it twice and I wrote back, I love that, thank you, that's beautiful. And I meant it. In somewhere two states away, a woman I had never meant watched a little scene appear under her message and knew that the door was open. I want to stop here at the heart before any of the rest of it
because you were going to hear eventually what she said about me. We're going to hear it in her voice and that bright, even hostess's cadence and you're going to hear the words you put after my name. And I need you to have this first. I need you to know that the heart was real. The thing is that no one believes in the thing that is the truest. She was not pretending in August. The cruelty came later and it was also not pretending.
Both women were her. Distance between them is the whole story. And I was standing in the middle of the entire time, holding a card in each hand with the fool I'm named for.
And I never saw it move. She had a theory about me by the second week which she should have told me. She should have told me something. People who have a theory about you that fast are not seeing you. They're casting you. But it is a narcotic being cast, being told by someone with a following bigger than yours and a voice that carries that you are interesting, that you're misunderstood, that you are in a word she used more than any other than those first months. Good, a very good person to be exact.
Extremely so. She said it to me and she said it to other people about me which is how you know it worked because I have the messages where they told me she said it and I remember how it felt. At 45, broke streaming to 400 strangers at three in the morning to have someone announced to the room. I was worth knowing. She said breakfast ones. Actually sent it a bag of bagels from a place near me ordered through an app from where she was left by my door by a driver while she typed.
It should be there by nine from the road. I had stood in the doorway with that bag over my hand and I felt something and not felt it along to me. It was a sensation of being taken care of and I texted her a photo of the cats trying to get into the bag and she sent back a robe of hearts and told me that the same woman one day stand in front of 40,000 strangers and tell them I wanted to hurt children. I would have laughed at you. I would have defended her.
I would have defended her later to people who tried to warn me right up until the morning she is stopping possible. This is the part I have to live with. Not that I was fooled, that I was loved a little, that it was real and that being real did not save either of us. She was I would learn a woman who had been many things. There had been another life an earlier one with a different name attached to it. The internet does not let you bury
that follows you in screenshots and gets read by strangers who decided you were a fair game. She has been chewed on by that machine for years before I ever met her and I think now that it taught her logic so thoroughly that you could not stop running it even on people's love especially on people's love because they were the only ones close by enough to wound her and a wound to her was a debt. But I didn't know any of that in August. In August, she was just a voice in my messages after midnight
who liked my songs, who had a theory about me, who told me to hang on, hang in there if you once wrote I'm prompted at the end of a night when I let it slip how thin things were getting you'll make it. A son. I kept that one. I want you to know that I kept that I kept it long after when I was sitting in the room building the folder, printing the timeline, teaching myself to say the unbearable sentence that flat voice you have to say it in.
I would find that message again and read it and build the first hill because it was true when she sent it. I wanted to make it. She found a lonely man on the wrong side of a boggy town and she decided for a season to be the thing in his corner and she was and it was real and 11 months later she went into teach 40,000 people to see a monster or a man. You're going to want as this goes on to make her simple.
Everyone does, but the song was real. Bagels were real. The heart was real. Start there. Start where she started. Start with the song. That's the first chapter.
Hey Natalie. It's getting a little hot in here. I'm going to go get some dinner before I get too late. But thank you for being on the show. It's great talking to you. Great seeing you. Come back very soon. Okay. Love you.
Have a great night. Be well. Thank you.
Like a machine, efficient, polished, cold and clean.
I measure days by what I made and every feeling by the dead it paid. I built a voice that could not shake a face that nothing seemed to break. I called it strength,
but underneath the gears were grinding down my grief. Then the mirror asked me quietly, it's surviving all you want to be. I'm learning to be human, not perfect, not complete.
To feel the ground beneath me, not calculate my speed. To let a moment touch me without asking what it earns. I'm more than my machinery, I'm everything that learns.
I used to listen for mistakes. For weak conclusions I could break. I heard the words, but missed the pain. Then wondered why I stood alone again. Compassion was an open door. I had mistaken for a war.
Humility became the keeper. Perhaps the one who must evolve is me. The lantern showed the road ahead. The mirror showed the life I'd left unfail. I'm learning to be human with certain end life.
To offer understanding, not merely to survive. To leave some questions open, to soften when it burns. I'm more than my machinery, I'm everything that learns.
I don't need to win each conversation. I don't need a perfect explanation. I can say I'm hurt, I can say I was wrong.
I can rest without believing I am weak. I can lead another person without turning them to data. Without reducing all their mystery to something I can name. We are not problems to be solved. We are stories being lived.
We become a little more alive each time we choose to give. The old machine still speaks in me. Control the risk of void uncertainty. But now I hear a second sound.
A human heart beneath the program pounding. It does not promise I'll be safe. It only asks that I have faith. That tenderness is not defeat.
Then broken rhythms still can make a beat. I'm learning to be human with scars I cannot hide. To carry both the lantern and the darkness kept inside. To choose a living question over answers carved in stone.
I'm more than my machinery, I don't have to grow alone. I'm learning to be human. Still unfinished, still becoming. Every failure leaves a doorway. Every heartbeat keeps it humming.
I'm not the person I once was. I'm not yet who I'll be. But every gate I walk through brings me closer back to me.
No final form, no perfect plan. Only the courage to become more human than I was yesterday.
Thank you for watching.
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