Oh, Alexandra

she friended me with fireworks confetti in her hair said you're such a lovely soul with that

calculated stare but i was just a chess piece in a feud i didn't choose a temporary favorite in

her very special youth she needed me for optics for a sub block for a scene

poking at her rival while pretending to be clean

thought it was connection turns out it was theater a one woman production call how can i be meaner

i was good enough for midnight talks for spiral rants and victim analogies

but when the script got rewritten fast she cut my name from every cat

i was used for till Tuesday holy till the fall then suddenly i'm toxic the villain after all

don't contact me she tells me with the curtains dramatic drone and then she floats into my panel

like a ghost and mr dawn calls me some grand monster says i'm darkness doom and doom me

funny how i was a saint right up until i got less useful to a junior empire i was there when

things were crumbling now i'm the big disaster that's rich coming from the patron saint changing

every pastor she found herself a champion a knight in shining chrome posted him like rescue merge

said finally i'm home but the armor got dented the fairy tale got hazy and even sir salvation said

this whole thing feels crazy i stood there in the cheap seats watching plot twist hit the wall

that's your redeemer didn't he just miss your car every week a new messiah every month a brand

new scar a rotating cast of life bones that don't make it very far i gave grace when grace was rare

listen when nobody else was there but some folks turn up to a courtroom file and hand out blame

with a pageant smile i was used for till Tuesday sacred till the spin then she needed a new sermon

and i got written in don't contact me she whispers then appears where i live on air like boundaries

off of peasants and hypocrisies could put away now i'm some spiritual trafficker what a deluxe

invention there's not a charge it's fiction with the persecution pension i was there when the wheels

came off now i'm the dark disaster that's rich coming from the weather vane who calls each storm

a pastor she collects moral costumes like wigs behind the stage halo for the thumbnail pitch

for the rage one day you're her confidant the next day you're her curse every friendship gets a trailer

every fallout gets rehearsed and i'm not even mad now i mostly want popcorn because every grand

denunciation comes pre-fraid and overwhelmed and if i'm such a beast baby why haunt my little show

why bang on the cathedral door you swore you'd never know don't contact me okay cool her

then why are you enrolling memorizing every word contact me fine by me then why do you keep

orbiting my so-called monstrosity i was useful till two steps back darling that's the game you need

a friend you need a foe they often wear one name you crown me then you blame me then announce me

with a hiss for contradiction in high heels still trips over stuff like this

so here's to all the ex-allies who turn into a trial who borrow truth for leverage and perform

pain with style i'll be over here still breathing still speaking still hilarious

and you'll still be recasting villains in a plot line precarious you said don't contact me

i said don't aim me but if i'm such a monster

why do you keep coming back