3,571 notable quotes from the archive
“I caught pizza kissing Santa Claus right under twinkly lights”
“Heroes loud like thunder on caffeine. dropping stacks, cracking jokes, keeping the scene clean.”
“Lights flicker, chats in the right, and somewhere ghost about to die.”
“That's how you know the haunts alive.”
“This world, this world a trip. This world, this the devil's playground out here, man.”
“At the day, I never lied about being a woman. M- have I maybe said a few things that weren't exactly, uh, true? Okay. But at the same time, you had no right to know my medical history”
“You cannot control them. It's not you. It's nothing to do with you. These people are not calling you.”
“I am a female. I don't act like an... I act like my damn self. And you can't pay me enough to be fake.”
“I look like Abraham Lincoln, I know. Four score and seven years ago.”
“I must say, I wasn't expecting this conversation to go in this direction, but it certainly makes for interesting discussion, doesn't it?”
“I must say this conversation has certainly taken an unexpected turn, but I'm intrigued. What is Alexander's favorite topic?”
“"Well, I have I'm letting you talk right now because you know I have Bronzebird and um Eldo or something. We're backstage."”
“Well, you're going to argue with a woman from Alberta on how to say Alberta. Come on.”
“Yeah, I do. Cuz they're younger than me.”
“Do you not talk [ __ ] to your own brother? I don't know if you have brothers, but do you not talk [ __ ] to your brother?”
“Okay? you can maybe learn something from me about how to like treat human beings and not treat them like [ __ ] garbage.”
“Too soon by Jeffrey Dmer. I don't know.”
“"Your cats ate a hummingbird once with his beak and everything. You were traumatized. Oh my gosh."”
“"I grew up on, you know, internet, but I'm also I also have that thing where it's like I'm also like I I like to diffuse conflict with humor and stuff and sometimes people are not wanting the humor at the time and Yeah."”
“Tonight it's a special. It's my It's a It's a VIP only diddy party. If I don't know your ass, then you're not welcome on the panel”
“It's not approved for my show. Okay.”
“You're way younger than me. You chill the [ __ ] out, bro. You don't know anything about life yet. I don't even know enough about life yet. Anybody doesn't know anything about life.”
“When I went to college it's like you know people were like oh like just covering themselves with a towel and everything”
“We didn't have that kind of thing. We just had a bathroom you can change in and stuff and it's like so um so we weren't really so people are very like shy”
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