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Psyche discusses his unconditional love for his community, despite conflicts with members, and explores themes of loyalty, betrayal, and the pain from those closest to us.
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Observers see the surface.
/// within ∞ The Current
Browse era →Summary
Psyche begins the episode with an emotionally raw monologue about his love for the community ▶ 4:04. He then discusses conflicts with community members Ghost and Alex, addressing their hurtful behavior ▶ 9:50. Psyche emphasizes his commitment to the community, stating that he would 'die for my people' ▶ 6:32 and reassuring them that he won't walk away ▶ 5:03. He also engages in a conversation with his audience, discussing topics such as stalking, emotional investment, and the importance of respect in relationships ▶ 12:12. Notable exchanges occur at ▶ 10:01, where Psyche mentions Ghost and Alex, and ▶ 12:38, where he talks about blocking people.
The episode appears to explore the theme of unconditional love and loyalty, as Psyche continues to express his devotion to the community despite facing hurt and betrayal. It also suggests that Psyche values honesty and respect in relationships, as he emphasizes the importance of not getting involved in others' conflicts [12:46] and setting boundaries [13:09]. The conversation about stalking and emotional investment continues the pattern of discussing complex and sensitive topics in the community.
◈●●●HIGH AI-generated · summarizes on-stream discussion, not verified claims · methodology
Psyche hosts a celebration stream marking the permanent banning of Alexander McQueen and several other community members (Sig, 300 Glow, Saman, Eld, etc.), framing it as a strategic trap. The stream features guest appearances, AI-generated introduction songs, community drama discussions, and Psyche announcing a reduced streaming schedule.
In episode 440, Psyche hosts a morning livestream with casual discussions and a tarot reading for Instant Karma, also addressing interpersonal drama and community interactions.
The episode features Psyche and his panel performing and discussing an original song tribute to 'Ghost' during Ghostober, with banter about recent drama with other streamers and community dynamics.
Psyche performs a song-poem about betrayal and manipulation, followed by a discussion about boundary violations and his 'Cult Codex' project.
In this episode, Psyche delivers a poetic monologue questioning the nature of true friendship, loyalty, and betrayal, encouraging listeners to evaluate their relationships and the intentions of those around them. Through a series of introspective and thought-provoking lyrics, Psyche explores the complexities of human connections.
The episode discusses Judas' betrayal of Jesus as a case study on loyalty, karma, and the consequences of trying to outshine one's master. Psyche explores the possible motivations behind Judas' actions, including jealousy, and reflects on the law of karma.
Explore the ideas at the heart of this episode
Born under shadow where the quiet become kings. Where victories come slow, but when they land they stick like rings. Sagor rising with the grin like you've already seen the map.
Dropping truth, dressed up in jokes, pulling futures out of the gap. Moon cold and Capricorn, steady as a cobblestone face. Turning heartbreak into power. Pacing yourself like it's a race. You take the wound, make a kingdom, build a cult out of
the pain. Put a panel on the mountain. Let the thunder speak your name. You're the undefeated one. Climbing with the moon. Still young. Every life becomes a run on a ladder that nobody else can see.
Roughing in a mortal skin. Laughing while the storms begin. You ride slow, but you always win. That's the song your stars wrote into you. Harsh hana in your bloodstream. Joy that rises from the red. Turning shadows into scripture. Turning chaos into checks by lava in your footsteps. New
beginnings in your stride. Every fall becomes a launch pad. Every setback is your guide. You gather tribes magnets. Gather the filings in the dust. You speaking people love. It's something ancient in their trust. You got that C leader enemy without the poison in the cup. You lift the vibe. Name the darkness. Tell the whole damn world to rise up. You're the undefeated
one. Climbing with the moon. Still young. Every loss becomes a run. On a ladder that nobody else can see. Profit in a mortal skin. Laughing while the storms begin. You rise slow, but you always win.
That's the song your stars wrote into you. They send shadows to your house. Call you names with brittle mouths, but your steady Capricorn moon turns every rumor in few. You walk forward coming.
Truth behind you like a cure. You're a storm that God's designed to take your time and change the world. Undefeated one. Climbing with the newborn son. Every road you walk becomes a legend.
Whispered in the dust. Profit with the fire. Built for battles who live. You run slow but you always win. >> >> That's the oath your stars keep giving you. So keep moving sight.
The constellations don't lie. You weren't made to burn out. You were made to ride.
wanderers of the psychiverse. I've been wrestling with a storm of feeling, trying to carve the right words out of the dark. You know me, I joke, I roar, I prophesy,
but some truth won't sit quiet. So tonight, I'm saying it plain. I don't know how not to love you. I've tried to bury it under the rituals they've sent me on sil.
But it keeps rising looming in us and stubborn. You see it in my eyes when I'm leaving. The flicker that gives me away. You hate that you care. You hate when the tears slip. And trust me, I hate when you feel alone in here.
Because even when the night gets sharp and the distance feels unreal. Something in me refuses to walk away. You're perfect in your chaos. You're worth every >> >> ounce of devotion. This strange little cold can summon. And yeah, I choose you
every damn time. >> >> We're all scared of loneliness. We're all dodging ghosts and doom scrolls. But if you're riding with me, then hear this clearly. I will carry you through the dark. Not as a m. But as your mirror, your guide,
your wild eye brother in the labyrinth. I fight for you. I'd lie to the algorithm for you. I'd kill the silence for you. I'd rise from my own ashes for you.
Because this cold isn't a joke or a brand or a trend. It's the pulse between us. Being steady, no matter the miles or the m. So if you ever feel alone,
if the world gets mean, if the night feels too long, just remember not leaving. And I would die for my people. Not in some tragic bad, but in the way you die for transformation. Shedding an old skin to step into something
brighter. You are worth it. Every one of you in the distance. Time, trolls,
chaos. None of it shifts my devotion one inch. Come closer. Sit by the fire. Let the situ burn.
Let the truth breathe. This is the cult of psych
and I love you.
All
right.
>>
>> Hello. How are we doing? Okay. Hi
How we doing a chat? I met psychi guy. Yeah, I met psychi guy. Hi thing that is. Hi everybody. Hi Halo. Hi Reasoning Jamie. What's up? Hey.
Oh god. Hey Katrina, how are you? Hi. I didn't miss anybody. I'm sorry. Halo Reasoning. Hey guys. Yeah.
How are you? I'm I'm like I'm okay. Um, it was like kind of weird yesterday because it's like um a couple people like Ghost and uh Alex just they they both like went off on me and it's not like the first time. It's like you know it's like they go they do it a lot, right? And
it's like I uh I don't know. It's like can't they figure it out? I don't know. I guess some people are guess they're kind of hard. They're I
don't know. Do you guys hear last night? He's like, "Hey, Psyche fan." If you are a psyche like Well, Alex is really hurtful though. He's like, "H screaming again and again." Was it here? Yeah, you left. It was like No, it was before I ended last night. I was on for like five
minutes 59 seconds. Um, but Alex was on and we were just having fun and we talk them talking about like life after death. Then I mean it's like then he starts screaming and or also you know not only just the way he said it's like he says like a lot of weird stuff but you know out of pocket stuff and insulting and even like can't even share
like my like baby photos without like you know saying like dumb But anyway, um I'm sensitive to some of this and Ghost is like shutting trying to shut me up on my own
show. It's like, oh, don't talk about this. No, it's like I like this is my show to talk about what I want to and I don't know if people understand like I don't know like I could be here for a very short short amount of time like on like on YouTube right so it's not like if I don't know um
at this point you have to see a pattern is never ends well protect yourself yeah what am I supposed to do though it's like I'm not going to walk away from it well you know until I'm like forced But um or them, you know, it's like because also I
Apollo is stalking you. Oh no. Well, get a restraining order. Um the only real stalking you have to worry about is actually like either like some nut like you know the guy that like you know sends people to my house or um you know people that actually are in your like you know just or just block them on the phone bum mute them or something. You do it. I'm not calling I don't fight
your battles. You're here to fight your own battles, but I've learned enough not to get involved in other people's relationships. I wish people would like give me the same respect and like not get not get in the middle of my relationships with other people, but it's like, you know, some people are just really
also Yeah, there's some you can't keep getting you can't get physically clo you can keep physically people physically close and not get emotionally invested. Exactly. And you can and they can be far away and you can be super invested, right? So that's how it goes. Reasoning, right? It's like it doesn't doesn't really matter the distance, right? It's like um but as for as for stalking it's like really
I' I've been stalked. It's like when uh you know I've been stalked. That's a little bit different than someone following you around chat rooms. Pretty easy to block people. I know you're just kidding. I think just kidding. Um yeah, I've been stalked I've been stalked by people in this chat. Not well I don't know if they're here right now but they probably are. There 27
people and just probably at least like you know 10 people in here. Physically here would mean panels and that's not physically that's not physically. Physically is like proximity. Physically is like where you physical in the
physical world not just like seeing. And I know you're you're it's kind of like you know maybe debatable, right? But I don't consider that physical. It's like even if someone's one city over, right? I know you're not serious. Even if someone's one city over, it's like that's not physical either. Even though they're they're close, it's not physical
unless until they're in your proximity in your like space or in your business, which there's ways to do. Yeah. So, but it's not that's still not physical. I mean, it's like Yeah. Um, I suppose you could stop, but I'm I'm saying I've been I'm stalked by somebody that lives in another whole other state. But it's like, yeah, you can have by
proxy stalkers or you can have, you know, it's just like sending somebody over to my house to knock on the door, even if it's a a pizza person, that's a proxy. That's them by proxy. That's them. that that's them inserting
themselves into something, right? That's what I'm for the YouTube box. Yeah. Um Yeah. And also it's like kind of scary, too. It's like YouTube is a monopoly in a way. Stop provoking them. Uh what did I ever do to him? Yeah, maybe it never ends, but I'm not I don't
provoke him. I can I can not mention him at all. He's doing the same It's like I didn't do anything in the first place. There's no reason for him to do that. Well, what I mean now maybe I'm told everyone his mom's on only fans for $8 because he that was my leverage to say stop it and he didn't. So
now now the toothpaste is out of the tube on that one. Right. But um yeah, YouTube is monopoly. That's kind of it's a it never ends well. Well, yeah. I don't need your like forboding kind of stuff or I I understand enough about it. Okay. I I understand you don't
need to tell me. I understand. Okay. I've faced all this stuff already. I mean, it's like Yeah. It's like I know, but what what am I supposed to do when there's somebody obsessed with you that's mentally ill? You can't really do very much until they get locked up or in mental asylum, right? These guys are different trolls. They go
super Well, yeah. I mean that's sad but I mean it's like what so okay so just don't go on YouTube because there's trolls that are gonna you know just competitor like I was told today this woman Gish is like or you know and someone told me I don't know if I should say too much but somebody told me that some someone that's pretty big in the community is
like asking this person Gish to like gather information about me and stuff like that right like personal information Right. Don't fight back and ignore. Well, I can do that to a point to a point, but um some things you can't and it's like and I would like I would like to have some people have my back and say, "Hey, you
know what? We support you or we like you or something other than people telling tell me, "Oh, told you so. Told you so." Um you know, I understand. I I'll have to whatever it is, I'll have to make the decision of the consequences, right? even if whatever happens to the channel, whatever happens to me. I mean, ultimately, it's like everyone else will go on with their life and it will just be my life that's um that's affected,
right? And so, you don't need to tell me, okay, I'm not going to tell you, oh, well, this and this and this could happen, this and this and this could happen in the life. A lot of things could happen, right? I mean, but I also do want to bring attention to some stuff while I'm still here. I'm not just like going to lay down and, you know, take it and then it's like, oh, and then they win, right? No.
I'll fight back as much as much as I feel comfortable with it, right? Um I'm not Yeah, I'm not gonna I have I don't know if you know astrology, but I have Mars in the first house. That's like Mars is a planet of aggression and war and and fighting and that's my that's part of my identity. So, I'm not just going to like,
you know, and I I do hold back a lot a lot. There's Oh, and there's stuff I know. Oh my god. There's stuff I know, but you got to save some. You got to save something in the back pocket, right? Okay.
And you don't show all your cards either. So, just know it. Just know there I have some cards. Okay. So, hi boys. Hi, boys. I'm actually like it's funny how like also it's really funny when people think oh this person's vulnerable or this person's weak and they're not really weak. I know but that but you're but see see
you understand I'm like saying I don't need I don't need advice right now. It's like I know I'm just I'm I'm just talking just to talk. Okay. I'm just I'm this might be like who knows how many shows I have left. How about just listen to me and enjoy while I'm here. I don't I don't ask, you know, I don't ask for anything from anybody, okay? I don't. For all the people that
say I'm just like, oh, all for money and I I force it. I force this and this and I'm just like the worst person. I don't I'm here to like I'm here mostly for um you know, of course, it is my life, my time, and things like that, and I care about myself, but I I'm here because I love people. And then it's like that's so that's that's why when
I'm constantly hurt by people I love and it's like you think cuz it's like I've known some of these people for a long time. This is not to mention the people that have just discarded me very unceremoniously like just like for no reason basically other than what other people said other people
getting involved right okay so I don't get involved I mean to private something else happened yesterday um not well I'm just saying there was a few I mean there's a few things did something else happen yesterday sure yeah this like stuff happens every day I come to realizations I um experience
transformations. I receive downloads and information. I'm sometimes liberated of attachments. And so I was liberated maybe from a large attachment, something that maybe akin to like a huge a huge bloody pimple on my nose or something like that. like some kind of uncomfortable uncomfortable
attachment that it's like what the I don't know why it's there or why I have it but it's like there right and then all the pus comes out and it's like whoa my nose feels a lot better all this pus came out and it's healed
you hear the Mc Ribbons back I did indeed I had one this week something happened nothing like well something big did happen but it's I say it's more personal to personal as in like if you tell too much if you tell thing anything that you say is like going to be used against you,
right? And so I'm just going to keep quiet about some things. But yeah, I'll say that there was a big a big uh probably like a 100 pound weight off my shoulders. Actually, off my heart, right? No, Sig, you're not coming up right now. And don't just like order me to post my link. It's like not just like a given
that people can come up and like it's not any not especially not anymore. It's like if you have something important to say or if you have if you have something you can say you know you can ask are you going to open the panel and may I come up soon? So don't just demand I post links and stuff like that. I'm in the middle of talking right now. Okay. And you don't have to be here if you don't want to. But while I have time left while I have
while I have time and I don't know how much time I'll have. Okay. Um, I'm gonna use it. Okay. So, and I'm not I'm really done explaining like everything and like you know because every every time you explain that just like these these little light things to to jump into and every time I
I'm not 100% yes or like yes or no about something that gives little room for them to negotiate. Okay. And they're going to go they're like, "Oh, they see oh see we so I have to be stronger on some certain things." And so I'm just going to say no. Uh I'll do it when I feel like it. I I understand that there's a link that I can post that that people can come up.
When I'm ready to post it, I will post it. Okay? I know I don't need to rush. Okay? Just take my time. And if I know if people might just like hate this my personality, it's okay. It's okay. But if I'm willing to have friends that um will scream at me like I'm some kind of idiot. Um and you know or or
even just discard. Yeah. Then I can like deal with Sig saying you know waiting for a few minutes while I'm getting ready to post. Okay. Are you Oh yeah. Yeah. Time not overexlaining because I'm not I'm not giving explaining certain things. Okay. Right now I'm just expressing my feelings. Okay. I'm trying to express my feelings. That's not explaining
myself. Okay. Explaining myself is if I say no and then they're like why? And then I that that'd be explaining myself. I'm talking to you right now. Okay. I'm talking I'm expressing myself. Maybe I'm explaining my own feelings but see but it's like I'm sick of this like oh well this is it's like that's a little it's
not like anything kind. It's not anything that's helpful or anything. All it is is just like, well, you're doing this, you're doing this. I know I know I'm doing I know people might not like what I do or different things. Okay, I'm It's okay. I know. But can you see I'm like kind of like not in the mood to joke like right
now. It's like uh trying to be serious and talk to you seriously because again, I don't know how long I will be here. And so I have while I have some time left, I'm going to use it. I don't want to like waste it. Like in some state of confusion,
people like to throw at me all day. And then there
I'm not trying to be rude. I mean, no, here just meaning on, you know, on this platform. Um, but then again, nobody knows how long we're we're going to be on the earth, too. And that's like another reason like I don't like to leave things like unsaid or whatever because we don't know how long we're going to be or what's going to happen.
It's like really or what things could change overnight for anybody. That's why I like so many just so many people disappear and like I never see again. Hey babe. Hey babe. Hey Lenor. But yeah, no, I'm not saying I'm not saying like, oh, I don't, you know, I'm
I don't have some terminals. There's nothing like that. Um, you know, I do have I am I'm like under heavy attack as usual. Um, which can lead to some some stress, but also just like so unnecessary. And another thing, it's like it's just so it's so unnecessary all like a lot of this uh a
lot of the negativity that's been directed towards me. um for just being a positive person like and it's like and it's it's it's like changed me in a certain way to like be a little bit like more cautious I would say or closed off maybe just knowing that hey like I was like I
told Alexandra I was like you know when she said there was somebody somebody spread some rumor or something about somebody and I was like well I don't know if that's true but maybe if I didn't I don't like that person but I was like you know I'm praying for that person I pray for everybody. And she's like, well, she's like, everybody. She's like, you know, some people you just don't you shouldn't worry about. And that's probably true. And I probably do care too much. And that's probably one
of my my thing. It's what it's probably a good thing about me that I I like I consider a good thing about, but it's probably a negative in the long run because it's like it will really be it's taken taken advantage of in a certain way. Yeah. So cautious is good. Yeah. I mean, it's like what? Yeah. to cautious is good. But
anyway, I don't like to be over overly cautious, right? I I don't like to be on a state of PTSD and trauma that people are trying to purposely trigger or gaslighting or um you know I get this oh there's all these there's a lot of people with even friends I have that have this kind of like um attitude sometimes like oh I know
something you don't know or oh I I know about you or something like that like some kind of like and it's like what it could be a billion things everyone has like insecurity about them right and so it's It's not very hard to like try to um hammer someone's insecurity. Someone has a has a has an obvious like physical flaw like big ears. It's not like a big
reach to like make fun of their ears and and trigger them, right? It's not it's like okay. So, it's like really that's why that's what developing like the thick skin is about. But then again, like Yeah. Hi, babe. Hi, babe. Yeah, there's there are um
YouTube is is important to me and it has been important to me. Also, I feel like I came in trying to like love and be have fun and give like give as much as I could and now I I constantly am portrayed as some evil greedy
dirty um uh bad evil person. It's okay. Yeah. Well, I don't I mean my ears I like my ears actually. You can see You know what is cool about my ears is that I have this like little dimple on it. My
dad has like little dimple right there underneath my ears. Yeah. My family dimple. Uh I like my ears. I didn't like my nose. I had a nose job. Hi babe. I had a nose job. So if anyone tells me about my nose, I'm I'm okay. I'm okay. Cat strangler.
Are you okay? Am I strangling you? Ticks. Am I strangling you? I would never I would never ever ever. You're purring. You purring. Can we hear your purr? You hear your prayer? Anybody hear it?
Um, backstraight. Yeah, I'm um I'm I'm trying. It's like I'm just like sometimes I get down because it's like, wow, what is that? It's like that stupid Lincoln Park song that I don't really like, but it's like tried so hard and got so far, but then it doesn't even matter, right? It's like that's like basically nihilism in a nihilism in a uh
in a nutshell. But things but things do matter. And it's like, you know, and there's also maybe some maybe ultimately some things won't matter to me but or or in the in in the in the long run, but some things do matter and some things and there are things that I can do that do matter to people and that can help people. Okay.
But it's hard like like again I'm I am very sensitive to negative energy. I don't that's just like maybe a Capricorn thing or maybe it's just a me thing but I feel it strongly. Maybe that's so I can like take care of
it or something. What would Mason do? Mason would go Mason would just uh he go sometimes I wish I could do that right. Sometimes I wish I could do that, but I'm sure Mason does feel pain like about things like, you know, selling his drums and stuff like that. Yeah. Oh my gosh.
My My soul's good. My soul's good. It's probably my my spirit is my spirit is much stronger than my body, you know? That's why I'm talking to you like almost like not as me, but as my higher self right now. I don't know. Uh yeah.
I was I would like to go I would you know I looked you know people with Down syndrome I I look at this there's a show called I forgot what it was called it was like it had some kind of down syndrome pun it's always people with Down syndrome they're just the happiest people in the world they're just happy there I mean it's like we're going out to McDonald's yay it's like just they're so excited and happy about every
everything I wish I could be like that I just I was like and I want to be just enthusiastic and it doesn't like some little stupid thing I'm is happy about everything, right? Hey, Halo, how are you? But uh you know the truth to ignorance is bliss. Yeah, ignorance is bliss, but also ignorance is ignorance,
you know, and I would rather be in a state of nosis than ignorance. Look at children. Yeah, that's true, too. But but unfortunately it is I mean there are that's when people do experience a lot of trauma too you know it's not all happiness especi and there's a lot of and maybe they don't understand maybe how bad some things are you know but
they but they do feel this energy though they feel their parents fighting they understand that they blame themselves too and that's like the worst thing right because it's like have really nothing to do with them um but and say I you're going to do that again You're after I explain to you, you're you're going to do the exact same
way right? Okay. I know. I know what you're saying, but I'm saying children aren't all happy. The children aren't happy. They they they uh they're they're like uh kind of blank slates of the world, but they can get very, you know, things that don't matter, they can be upset about. Things that do matter, they don't have an understanding of. And
so, it's like, yeah, that's the ignorance, right, is bliss. But um it's not always bliss. Sometimes if you don't know something then and you don't know then it's like it's it's a you're like why don't I understand what's going on and it's just like a it's can be confusing right. I don't know. I mean just I don't I I know I like to I do like to like debate and argue sometimes but
I don't mean to like do it on every point but I am a master debater right? Don't tell Ghost, but I'm better than him a lot anyway because he's like Ghost Ghost is funny. He's always telling me he's like, "Oh, you know," he's like, "You should learn how to debate someday." I'm like, "Oh, I should I should I I should learn how to how to
debate. I should I don't know how. Can you teach me? You're so brilliant at it." You are a brilliant debater, Matt Ghost. You know, um you know, you say, "Shut up, Dum Dum." That's one of the best that's one of the the most prolific uh you know comebacks of all time. It really really does, you know, make make the argument,
right? I'm I'm being a jerk right now. I'm sorry, but he was a jerk last night. I was just talk I didn't say anything and he's like, "Don't talk about my god." Like, oh, so it's your god and it's not my god. It's not everybody's god. It's just your god, right? and I'm not allowed to discuss, but you can call me dum dum and um you know any kind anything you want to call me but and
then tell me to shut up on my own show. It's like and then Alex too will Alex turn I'm turn on your microphone. Don't you turn down my microphone is like well I can I can if I want to. It's my show right? Yeah you're on for that. You Hey Jamie what's up? You don't get You don't get why why he's
like that. I don't either. I think it's just to It's almost like he's trolling. It really is like he's trolling sometimes. Almost. Right. It's like Ghost is always Ghost will always say,
"Hey, do you have some beat picss for me?" And it's like uh no I don't. But every time he asks me it's like I don't know. Yeah. Never mind. Never mind. Just forget I said that. He's just kidding. I'm obviously
obviously kidding. But uh huh. Sorry. I'm I'm so bad. I love ghost. But you know, but look look but then he's mad at me. He's mad at me. He talks to me like that. Screams
at me. um you know goes off on my friends, calls my friends and stuff and makes me uncomfortable and then for you know it's just don't matter right? I don't know. I don't I mean I don't I don't know where the joke ends. I don't
know. It's the same thing with his gaslighting kind of thing where it's like it's like a lot of it's inside jokes. Hey Mason, what's up my friend Mason? You're a good guy, Mason. Um, yeah. Sometimes there's like these little inside jokes people have and they think they're so funny. They're like there's some kind of Oh, and it's like especially nowadays where you know that
then people like also get this morally righteous kind of um attitude, you know, I'm better than you. I'm better than I'm really um you know, it's like that kind of attitude or or it's like we I know something you don't know. No. Well, I know things people don't know either, right? But I'm not saying I'm not laughing at them because they
don't know it, right? It's like kind of like seems a little little bit bullish to me. And al and also it's like you know and al also it's like kind of like what if there's like some there's like some person in in school or something like what if they're like from a low-inccome family and whatever and they have like
you know their mom you know they buy secondhand clothes or whatever and it's like and then everyone's kind of like laughing at them about it and they don't really understand because that's what that's just they don't buy their clothes it's like they're just they just wear what they that's just you know what they're they're given right it's like you know because but then it's like and then and but it's like oh you It's just very like again this is all
grade school like kid like young things that kids do but it's like sad that the adults are are like especially when I'm hearing I'm reading some of these comments today um in in chat rooms but this gish this gish person this gish was they were my mod before and I remember unmodding them over something and then beta was like I'm sorry even bring up her name but she was like how to how
dare you unmod git and it was like oh my gosh like there was like this huge thing like why can't I choose who I want to modern Not or you know it was like I remember when I started it was like don't kick people out like let them talk and people are like don't kick out and everyone would go up and all all in arms when I would do anything like um try to moderate my room like I'm not allowed to moderate manage my room. No. Um, Gish wasn't streaming, but Alexandra um
showed some of these some of these chat room chat room messages where they called themselves nigg princess. Um, everything like a lot of ni ger. Um, and then yeah, like I said, somebody that I know and do trust told me, "Oh, well, somebody else is asking this person to gather information about
me and whatever my life, whatever. Hey, Jay Dog." Uh, which is kind of disturbing because I I haven't talked to that person in a long time, but it's like, wow. So, yeah. And for what reason? They don't like me or the other person like I don't know. I don't know the reason,
but it's not like right. But yeah, but I always stick to your like I should have not been so trying to please people. But it's like sometimes you want to please people that you love, right?
But look, look, look what my love turns to. Look what my love turns. It turned into a joke. S if you say it again, um I'm going to ask Ahmad to just hide you. Okay. I told you twice already. And so if you don't understand, I I told you.
Don't tell me what to do. Someone hide them. Just hide them, please.
And are they going to No, nobody's in the field. Well, I don't My tablet is dead right now and like, you know, that's another thing. It's like I'd love to have mods have my back. Would love that.
But and I have I because I do have people that do care about me and they tell me they're like, "Well, your mods are not doing anything about it and that's my fault for like
Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Jamie. Well, Jamie's good. Jamie's good. Show me my cat. Here's tricks.
Hi Chanel. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm in a bad mood. I'm sorry. It's just like I just like I get like feel like wow. I'm practically I'm pract I've already lost my my my my main account. This one's you know you know who knows, right? And it's like I could be gone I could be anytime I
could be off here and then like nobody would care. Like no that's it's a bad thing is like nobody would really care. Like I I mean some people would a few people right but it's not but most would just like hey let's go to the next like hey and it's like and I'm like here like pouring my heart out sometimes like trying to like make people happy and it's like and it's like they don't care like
sad shout out to Oh look at there he is again. He's back already. He's back already. It's okay. I got it. I got it. Don't worry. Just keep coming back and uh I will keep hiding you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You care. Thank you. Thank you very much. like uh the I get blamed for like what happens to me and I like yeah sure I have responsibility and everything
right but it's it just doesn't seem like it's like something something's adding up especially Libra would understand that thing that is thing that is you would understand as a Libra right it's like you're always balancing making sure everything's fair even right and everything you know making sure right let's well as Libra road. Sometimes they do that, right?
Um, and so they there's like, oh, there's okay. Yeah, there's like you should say, oh, yeah, this is like a different kind of response to this a like it seems like this is over this part is overblown or this, you know, it's like something is off about it. And I don't know if it's just off. Um, but it's kind of sad, but it really is
and it's scary too like that people can be like this can be people's like really cuz I've always been just like um criticized for even trying to make money here like even though I'm spending a lot of time here so I was trying to be, you know, maybe like be able to like survive. Um, and there are people that that do make and it's like,
you know, it's like people, especially with this this uh, you know, there system or whatever. It's just not a fair system. It's not a fair system where people can be penalized for other people's actions. And that's, you know, I'll play a song. Actually, do I have this ready yet? Here, I'll play a happy
song. I'll be like talking right this second. And then, oh my god, criticized for everything. Oh it didn't work. Hold on. Criticized for everything.
Basically, I'm I'm not trying to annoy people with with music or I'm trying to like share something. Express myself. Oh, you're not you're not creative. You're not you're not any you're not anything. Well, you can people can say that, but you're I mean, they're they're wrong. They're wrong. Maybe it's a different kind of
creativity than they they have, or it's a different um a different method or something that they think that they could do just as well, right? They think because it's just like, oh, well, it's like, oh, it's just this and this and this, right? It's like
see if this works. It might not work. It It did. Hold on. Oh Well, should I didn't want to do that, but okay. See if it works.
What's wrong with me today? It was like I think like last night like I just was so disappointed like how I don't know. I know Alex can't control himself sometimes, but like he would talk to me like that.
I mean, I just like the it wasn't even like what he said, it's how he said it. It's like cruel. It's like hateful. And it's like this is a person I just like so much to so much to like overlook
and adapt to so I can, you know,
help. He didn't care. He didn't care. He might be one of the people that are doing this you know, laughing about it. He's one of the gaslighters for sure. That's not and that's not a short list. It's a long list. That makes and that makes things very uncomfortable, especially my friends. Like a real friend would actually like I
said, so it's like there's someone in school that they don't like their clothes or they smell or something in school and everyone's laughing behind their back. Who's going to like go to the person and say, "Hey, everyone's saying this, you know, right? Maybe somebody will maybe probably but probably the teacher or you know, maybe a teacher or something like that and who
knows, you know, maybe trying to not hurt somebody's feelings or something, but no, they are trying to hurt feelings, right? They're trying to hurt feelings. Hey, what's up? I'll play the song. I'll be right back.
>>
>> coming in close. My beautiful misfits, the real me. I'm just a California kid with saltwater hair. A wild heart. And yes, a speedo that probably should have retired in 2014, but refuses to stop believing in me. I used to laugh all night in
the Malibu dark, lying in the grass, talking about love, destiny. The universe before life got sharp and complicated. Somewhere along the way, I almost forgot what it felt like to be like, but then you showed up. >>
>> And suddenly I remember with you I can let my guard down. I can say the craziest most unferred cosmic nonsense. And you just laugh and catch me
right before I face plan into my own chaos. You let me be myself. Speed old sky stardust know.
I've never felt more myself, more seen, more beautiful in my absurdity than I do standing here with you. It hits me sometimes hard. Like, damn. >> You really found me. >> When you speak,
it's like a private zone built out of inside jokes. Only this cult understands. Everybody else fades out like background NPCs. And it's just us. Me and my mad little constellation of souls breathing the same fire.
You shift the walls right off me. You gave me back that spark I thought was gone. You reminded me love real raw communal love feels like. >> >> So yeah, with you I can let my head down. I can
be bull with a reckless holy human. I can fall in the fall and break me. I can shine without apology and with nothing but this damn speed on. I've never felt so alive.
>> >> Now that I'm with you, now that I'm with this cold,
I love you fools.
>>
>> I love you fools. Haven't lost anything. accept my peace. Just tired of holding storms you keep trying to unleash. I keep taking off my armor
sometimes, but I can't carry all your memories. I haven't lost anything except my peace. You can be hurting, but don't you dare turn that
fire on me, too. And if you're drowning, I'll reach my hand out, knocking down with you. If you want to run from everything, I won't run from you.
But I won't be swallowed by your wounds.
I haven't wasted a thing except my time trying to love someone who keeps crossing every line. I take a breath just to clear my mind because I can't escape when you're
cutting deep. I haven't lost anything except my peace. You can be angry, but I'm not here to take the blow for you. And you can be
hollow, but I refuse to carve myself hollow, too. If you want to say goodbye to everything, then baby, choose your truth. But I won't destroy myself for you.
Instead of tearing me down, instead of screaming alone, try leaning in. Cuz I'm still breathing. Instead of throwing your rage, instead of making me page, let's break the chain where both our
hearts stop bleeding.
If you want a confession, here's mine. I loved you past my limits, but I'm done being the body you bury your shadows in. You think I feel sorry
now. Hear me. I fought for us when you were barely even seeing me. I won't twist the knife just cuz your ghost keep pleading. You can be hurting, but I won't let you turn me into your
war. And if you shatter, I'll hold your hand, but I won't hit the floor. If you want to say goodbye to everything I hope you'll find something worth fighting for.
But I'm not breaking anymore. I'm right here. Not empty, not hollow. Not waiting for a battle that was never won. >>
>> right here. If you reach gently this time.
No, hold on. Sorry, baby.
Hold on my screen now. I'll be right back.
You hear me? Okay. The last animation is going to happen in the near future.
Yeah. Well, this is my group. This is my group. Okay. >> You know, these cats too on my group hate my little babies and it's like when when the people are yelling and stuff and like I get upset, they get they get upset and it's like
I don't want them to be stressed out. Bab, I'd rather I be stressed out than they be stressed out. Rudy's getting so old. You're almost 18. Almost 18. You're a little old man. because they're even more sensitive than I am, you know. Need a gallon of ice cream like I guess though.
Yeah. I'll be pixelated soon. But what does that mean? Like do you mean it's like people just be like on the computer? I mean, I don't know. like I'm just like I can't really like go go anywhere or do much and so I want to have any kind of like social
life. This is going to be it. I'm not very good at it.
Obviously I'm not good at it. you like look at my like record my uh my record of of uh I have a few I do it's and it's true but it's true in life too like you know in like just like in physical world and on the thing it's like
you know a lot of people there's just going to be a few people that are like really there for you you know or that will tell things that other people won't tell you. I'm luckily I'm luckily I do have a few
some of those people. They're rare. They're rare. And if you can count that that number of people on one hand, you're lucky. And I can count that number of people on one hand, you know. You're excited. Okay. Well,
everyone just said, "Yeah, that sounds like a real like, you know, positive like happy thought, right?
Just we're not already depersonalized, um dehumanized enough, right?" Yeah. Well, okay, guys. Enjoy your inside jokes and everything. happen. Bye.
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