The REAL Story of the Little Mermaid

She wasn't born mute. She chose it. Not

She wasn't born mute. She chose it. Not

seashells, not trinkets, men, human

seashells, not trinkets, men, human

artifacts, forks, lenses, compass

artifacts, forks, lenses, compass

needles, objects with purpose she

needles, objects with purpose she

couldn't name, couldn't articulate,

couldn't name, couldn't articulate,

couldn't explain to her father without

couldn't explain to her father without

watching his face collapse into

watching his face collapse into

something between grief and rage. The

something between grief and rage. The

therapists, three silverfinned elders

therapists, three silverfinned elders

her father trusted, agreed. fixation

her father trusted, agreed. fixation

disorder, possible dissociative

disorder, possible dissociative

ideiation, a compulsion to escape

ideiation, a compulsion to escape

identity. Ariel smiled at their charts

identity. Ariel smiled at their charts

and said nothing. She already knew what

and said nothing. She already knew what

she wanted. She'd known since she was

she wanted. She'd known since she was

12. She wanted legs. More than legs, she

12. She wanted legs. More than legs, she

wanted to be witnessed by someone who

wanted to be witnessed by someone who

had no idea what she was. Ursula lived

had no idea what she was. Ursula lived

in the trench, not metaphorically. She

in the trench, not metaphorically. She

had [music] eight arms and a mouth full

had [music] eight arms and a mouth full

of teeth and a voice like oil sliding

of teeth and a voice like oil sliding

across stone. She also had a contract,

across stone. She also had a contract,

standard issue, tight clauses. She told

standard issue, tight clauses. She told

no one because she already knew what

no one because she already knew what

they'd say and she didn't need

they'd say and she didn't need

permission. She needed legs. Voice for

permission. She needed legs. Voice for

limbs. Ursula said 30 days when his love

limbs. Ursula said 30 days when his love

the contract materialized. Four pages

the contract materialized. Four pages

fine print and bioluminescent ink Ariel

fine print and bioluminescent ink Ariel

signed. She was 16 years old. Eric was

signed. She was 16 years old. Eric was

kind. That was the worst part. No

kind. That was the worst part. No

history, no language, [music]

history, no language, [music]

and eyes that looked like they were

and eyes that looked like they were

cataloging everything. He brought

cataloging everything. He brought

[music] her in, fed her, gave her shoes

[music] her in, fed her, gave her shoes

that didn't fit, and laughed when she

that didn't fit, and laughed when she

walked like a newborn deer. She laughed,

walked like a newborn deer. She laughed,

too. For 30 days, she performed the girl

too. For 30 days, she performed the girl

she imagined herself to be, assembled

she imagined herself to be, assembled

from fragments of human media, half

from fragments of human media, half

guest, half improvised. She was

guest, half improvised. She was

convincing, startlingly so. She had no

convincing, startlingly so. She had no

voice because she had signed it away at

voice because she had signed it away at

[music] 16. On day 29, Ursula arrived

[music] 16. On day 29, Ursula arrived

wearing Ariel's face and Ariel's stolen

wearing Ariel's face and Ariel's stolen

voice. And Eric's sweet, kind, entirely

voice. And Eric's sweet, kind, entirely

deceived Eric, almost proposed. Ariel

deceived Eric, almost proposed. Ariel

stood in the shadow of the doorway and

stood in the shadow of the doorway and

watched herself smile at the man she

watched herself smile at the man she

dismantled her entire identity to reach.

dismantled her entire identity to reach.

That was the night something cracked

That was the night something cracked

open inside her that would not close.

open inside her that would not close.

Ariel [music] v. Ursula the deep court

Ariel [music] v. Ursula the deep court

trudged jurisdiction. Case no [music]

trudged jurisdiction. Case no [music]

o1 below. The ocean had not seen a case

o1 below. The ocean had not seen a case

like it. Ariel's attorney, a sharp-faced

like it. Ariel's attorney, a sharp-faced

eel named Council Meera, 300 years old

eel named Council Meera, 300 years old

and aggressively unbothered, stood

and aggressively unbothered, stood

before the abyssal, bench, and delivered

before the abyssal, bench, and delivered

the opening argument with the energy of

the opening argument with the energy of

someone who had been waiting for this

someone who had been waiting for this

exact moment. [music] Your honor, my

exact moment. [music] Your honor, my

client was 16 years of age at the time

client was 16 years of age at the time

of signing. [music] She was a minor

of signing. [music] She was a minor

under the Oceanic Compact of 1842.

under the Oceanic Compact of 1842.

Any contract signed by a minor involving

Any contract signed by a minor involving

the severance of a biological asset, and

the severance of a biological asset, and

I will remind the court [music] that a

I will remind the court [music] that a

voice is a biological asset is void,

voice is a biological asset is void,

voidable, and frankly an embarrassment

voidable, and frankly an embarrassment

to contractual law. Ursula's attorney, a

to contractual law. Ursula's attorney, a

slick hammerhead named Denick, slid to

slick hammerhead named Denick, slid to

his feet. The defendant contends the

his feet. The defendant contends the

minor, presented herself as a consenting

minor, presented herself as a consenting

adult. that no identification was

adult. that no identification was

requested because frankly mermaids don't

requested because frankly mermaids don't

carry ID and whose fault is that Myra

carry ID and whose fault is that Myra

interrupted

interrupted

that the contract was entered willingly

that the contract was entered willingly

eagerly [music]

eagerly [music]

and with full dramatic commitment I

and with full dramatic commitment I

might add she was 16 Dick the gallery

might add she was 16 Dick the gallery

[music] erupted the judge an ancient

[music] erupted the judge an ancient

sperm whale who had personally witnessed

sperm whale who had personally witnessed

the fall of Atlantis and was deeply

the fall of Atlantis and was deeply

[music] tired slammed a fin against the

[music] tired slammed a fin against the

bench order. Ariel sat at the

bench order. Ariel sat at the

plaintiff's table in silence. She was

plaintiff's table in silence. She was

listening, cataloging the way she always

listening, cataloging the way she always

did. Miris closing argument was 12

did. Miris closing argument was 12

minutes long and included a visual aid,

minutes long and included a visual aid,

a blownup copy of the contract, with the

a blownup copy of the contract, with the

age clause highlighted in a color the

age clause highlighted in a color the

court reporter would later describe as

court reporter would later describe as

aggressively red. The defendant

aggressively red. The defendant

exploited a teenager in emotional crisis

exploited a teenager in emotional crisis

who was suffering from documented

who was suffering from documented

identity dysphoria, swam alone into a

identity dysphoria, swam alone into a

predator's lair without legal counsel.

predator's lair without legal counsel.

We are not here because Ariel was

We are not here because Ariel was

foolish. We are here because Ursula

foolish. We are here because Ursula

knew. She knew her client was a minor.

knew. She knew her client was a minor.

She knew the contract would not hold in

She knew the contract would not hold in

any court with a functioning legal

any court with a functioning legal

system. And she signed it anyway because

system. And she signed it anyway because

she didn't expect to end [music] up in

she didn't expect to end [music] up in

court. She expected to win. Another

court. She expected to win. Another

pause. Mera looked directly at the jury.

pause. Mera looked directly at the jury.

12 sea creatures of varying species, all

12 sea creatures of varying species, all

deeply uncomfortable. She didn't.

deeply uncomfortable. She didn't.

Unanimous.

Unanimous.

Contract. [music]

Contract. [music]

Void. Voice returned in full with

Void. Voice returned in full with

prejudice. Damages. Significant.

prejudice. Damages. Significant.

Emotional. Biological. Psychological.

Emotional. Biological. Psychological.

The court had categories Ursula's

The court had categories Ursula's

attorney had never seen before and

attorney had never seen before and

objected to strenuously. Ursula was

objected to strenuously. Ursula was

remanded. Her tentacles were confiscated

remanded. Her tentacles were confiscated

as a security measure. The deep [music]

as a security measure. The deep [music]

sea notary lost his license. Ariel sat

sea notary lost his license. Ariel sat

on the rocks above the waterline. Not in

on the rocks above the waterline. Not in

the ocean. Not on land. Right at the

the ocean. Not on land. Right at the

edge where the water touched stone and

edge where the water touched stone and

couldn't decide what it was. Eric found

couldn't decide what it was. Eric found

her there. He figured it out. Not all of

her there. He figured it out. Not all of

it, but enough. He sat beside her

it, but enough. He sat beside her

without asking. You didn't have to do

without asking. You didn't have to do

all that, he said. She looked at the

all that, he said. She looked at the

horizon at the seam between two worlds

horizon at the seam between two worlds

she'd spent her whole life pressing

she'd spent her whole life pressing

herself against. I know, she said. Her

herself against. I know, she said. Her

voice was exactly as she'd left it.

voice was exactly as she'd left it.

[music] Low, salted, hers. I wanted to,

[music] Low, salted, hers. I wanted to,

and then I didn't. [music] And now I'm

and then I didn't. [music] And now I'm

figuring out what I actually want.

figuring out what I actually want.

Separate from wanting to be wanted. He

Separate from wanting to be wanted. He

nodded. Didn't push. They watched the

nodded. Didn't push. They watched the

sun drop into the water. Deep [music]

sun drop into the water. Deep [music]

down in the trench, in a holding cell of

down in the trench, in a holding cell of

her own design, Ursula sat with her

her own design, Ursula sat with her

confiscated tentacles in a jar on the

confiscated tentacles in a jar on the

shelf across from her and thought about

shelf across from her and thought about

the clause she should have added,

the clause she should have added,

"Signatory confirms legal age of

"Signatory confirms legal age of

majority." Four words. She'd been doing

majority." Four words. She'd been doing

this for 300 years. Four words.

this for 300 years. Four words.